Gunpowder Magic

Heh, I love Gnostic Conjure. Today he's got a post on Frenemies. And it uses GUNPOWDER!

I love using gunpowder in my magical rites. I miss Goetia because I had a lot of opportunities to use it with those spirits in particular. Bune loved it in his spirit pot, and there's something about the smell of just-burned gunpowder that reminds you of hell.

Do I need to point out that it's dangerous, extreme caution must be used, a (very very) little goes a really long way, and don't be stupid? Probably. So pretend I did.

I like the way he suggests you use it, with the candle igniting the little charge. I'm absolutely positive someone somewhere is going to use too much, ignoring his emphasis on a tiny little pinch, and it's going to blow the candle, shards of shattered jar, and molasses all over the room.

And I feel really bad for that person, for sure.

So where do you get gunpowder, you ask? WalMart, of course! In the sporting goods section, because how can it be a sport without gunpowder? At least, that's where I got mine last time I bought it. And it's not really gunpowder, it's flash powder for black powder guns. But it works. In college, an acquaintance invited me out to a quarry to blow up some pipe bombs he'd made from the stuff, and a good time was had by all.

My local occult and Wiccan supply shop would never sell gunpowder. They do, however, sell both sulfur and salt peter in small amounts, which combined in proper proportions with powdered charcoal (plain old Kingsford, not match light, not self-igniting-incense coals) makes gunpowder. I'm not giving out the exact proportions, but it wouldn't take long to find it on the internet.

As an ingredient, it's best used when you want some explosive results. If you're going to put it into a spirit pot, use a very, very small amount, and make sure it's mixed in well with the soil so it doesn't explode when your house catches on fire.

Kammael's influence should be included with this ingredient because he's the Archangel of Mars, and it's important to have some intelligence involved when you're doing magic with gunpowder. I mean, obviously the intelligence isn't coming from the magician, eh? You're playing with explosives for Christ's sake! Not frickin' smart!

But fun.

Trace the seal of Kammael over the powder when you've made it. Only make what you need for the rite. Do not store the left overs. Do not dispose of the leftovers by tossing it on the charcoal briquette just to hear it sizzle and pop. Do not pack it in PVC pipes and toss them on the Samhain bonfire when no one's looking, and then start screaming, "It's SATAN, I knew it!!!" when it blows up.

If there are any leftovers, mix it up (gently) with dirt or its equal weight in more carbon, and then sprinkle it finely in your garden, plants, or in the grass. Plants like potassium nitrates and sulfur and carbon.

Levitation Fail

So I was thinking about how enlightened I am today. Not totally, I have some issues, a ways to go for a while yet, but I've made some decent strides, accomplished a lot, and picked up a few tricks.

So I figured I'd try levitating. You know. Because I'd like to fly.

So I stood up from my chair at the desk here at work, flexed a muscle in my lower-right abdomen I didn't know I had, and kept right on going up. I was freakin' thrilled, loving it, I was totally flying, in the office, not even Jesus had done that, and I looked down and saw my body falling back into the chair, and as my butt hit the seat, my consciousness slammed back into the flesh. Seems I popped out through the crown chakra thing and left the meat suit behind.

Sigh. I'm kind of getting sick of the "needs spiritual sight to see how cool I am" aspect of this enlightenment thing. I get it, I understand it's like this for a reason, but why can't I be exempt from the rules?

Probably because I'd master invisibility and rob a bank, and then fly away with the loot.

Just guessing.

Not quite as enlightened as I'd like to think.

Apparently, My Readers are Responsible Members of Society

And have mostly already registered. Well done!

If you haven't registered, it only takes a minute.

Oh, and I was wrong yesterday, my readers are roughly spread out across the political spectrum pretty evenly. That's good to know. Apparently Magic is something we can all come together on, setting aside political differences and focusing on the Work. Good show!

Three! Three Registered Voters, Ah Ah Ah!

Ok, so three of you fine readers have gone through my voter registration button. That's right, I'm keeping tabs on you. Three people so far care enough to vote this election. Now, judging by the comments, most of you readers are commie pinko liberals. I am a sane and rational capitalist conservative. And you read my blog anyway! Ha!

We conservatives outnumber you roughly three to one here in America. If you want to keep your alien president (whose aunt is an illegal immigrant who thinks America owes her citizenship) and the house and congress, you'd better get crackin' and register to vote. We're coming out of the woodwork, and frankly, my fellow conservatives make me a little nervous. Kinda skeered, if you catch my drift. 

So if you want to keep this country heading in a Socialist direction, you'd better be registered and prepared to vote. Otherwise my nutter friends will take back congress and the house. And then we'll win the White House, and it will be George Bush all over again. And not the wimpy-didn't-start-a-war-with-all-of-Islam Bush, I'm talking about the Haliburton-funded-cocaine-off-a-hooker's-ass Bush. 

So get registered.

MagianRumination.Blogspot.com

Scribbler is a good friend, blogging companion, and fellow graduate of a series of personal and empowering Lunar Mansion initiations that have left us brothers in a very small spiritual family.

He also regularly gets my jokes, and I would love him for that alone if nothing else.

Today's post is awesome. The last couple of my posts (the more-serious ones, not the smartass ones) have been about finding the freedom to choose what to give a shit about, without getting stuck in the giving a shit process. As usual, Scrib lives out the things I try to write about without even thinking there's anything special about it.

Last week I cooked "Fauxganoff," my own creation consisting of egg noodles, browned ground beef, salt-pepper-garlic, concentrated cream of mushroom soup and sour cream. It's a family favorite and a lot of fun to say. "Whatcha doin?" "Fauxganoff."

But while cooking it I started to realize some things about the Planetary attributes of the ingredients, and how the recipe was very much a ritual, and the results among my family were right what you'd expect from a Saturn-Lunar rite with egg noodles. The magic of cooking was right up in my face, and today Scrib's taken it to another level. Satori while cooking is, apparently, pretty common. And his analysis of magical tools, the part of ritual played by cellular consciousness of the implements used in traditional magic is pretty awesome.

And he mentioned something about the blogosphere that sums up my own experiences too. Good stuff. So go read it. It's time well spent.

Deep Shit

With a title like that, you know it's got to be a good blog post. Uh. Right? Um. We'll see.

So, Wicklow2012 comments thus on the Sorting things out post:

When you say that "it all ends" do you mean for the spiritual realms as well as the temporal? I had always supposed that there would be change and flux in realms beyond the material (as above so below) but I never pictured an absolute end to them, it's a rather daunting idea really (for me at least). If you wouldn't mind I'd love to hear more along this line. My personal death I accept (what else can I do?) but the ultimate void for absolutely all things, I admit that would be the most unkindest cut of all. 

Well, the last sentence has me a bit concerned, but nevertheless, I'm going to carry on and explain my thoughts and perspectives, and hope that everyone can see that it's not really all that unkind or cutting.

I do indeed mean "it all ends." The spiritual realms, the planetary spheres, the angels and demons, their homes, everything. Life as we know it from a temporal and eternal stance, everything we have documented from our dreams and visions, everything we've learned and experienced: it all ends.

As a Christian Magician, I see the end of all things foretold all through the Bible. Isaiah talks about the heavens being rolled up "as a scroll," Peter talks about it in his epistle, and it pops up in Revelations as well. In the end, everything goes away, and even Jesus gives up his crown and returns to the Source, and God is All in All. When it's all said and done, all that will be is the Source.

What happens to us? Well, first let's remember the Hermetic lessons of Who we are. We are manifestations of God, emanations of his essence that exist to enjoy existence. As Crowley put it, we are "but an EYE, and what eye, none knoweth." We are observers and participants. We are made in the image of God, and we are creators who manifest things through Words, just like God. We speak things into being, taking the invisible Ideas and giving them form that can be communicated and manifest. We are little drops of God, the microcosm of his macrocosm.

As a drop returns to the oceans that spawned it, we too shall return to God. "Self awareness" will fade, and we will remember who we have been all along. We shall not cease to exist in essence, but we will cease to exist as separate individuals. What comes next, we don't know. But we have some clues.

In Revelations, we get a New Heaven, and a New Earth, only this time without the ocean. We know that god is essentially unchanging. He created everything we experience at least once (the Bible hints that there was another phase of existence pre-Genesis; the waters over which the spirit of God hovered had to come from somewhere, and we know he's fond of ending phases of existence in floods). There's no reason to believe he won't do it again.

We also know that things progress. Life evolves, we grow spiritually, we progress through stages of initiation and understanding. I personally believe we'll do it all again, only at a higher frequency.

Now, these thoughts are all based on my limited experience. I can only barely remember what's happened to me in this life, and my memories of previous incarnations are less than perfect. I've always existed, to my conscious memory, within the matrix of time and space. Remove time as a factor, and everything happens at once. Remove space, and there's no room for separate existence. There is only all-knowing, all-being. Where we go from there is pure speculation.

Fundamentally though, I don't think anything will change. We're already God, we just forgot while we were playing around in the park. I think God manifested as us and everything else because that's what we wanted to do, collectively, as a whole, and we had the power and knowledge to do so. I think it's mostly fun, even though there's also the suck factor.

The most important thing to keep in mind though, imo, is that while everything ends eventually, and we don't really know what happens after that, it doesn't really matter much as far as we are concerned individually. Regardless of anything that comes after, we still get to live out every moment we have between now and whatever end cometh. Everything ends, but until then, life is what we make of it, given what we have to work with. The sky's the limit, as they say.

So in the final analysis, I don't take things that happen in one lifetime too seriously because it's all going to end anyway. I also don't take the end too seriously because we know for sure that what we get is what we have, and it's all for us as long as it lasts. This balancing act results in freedom. Freedom from the temporary pain and drama, and freedom to create my world as I see fit. It provides the thing Anton Ego was looking for in Ratatouille, that most rare and hard to come by item that puts all things into proper context: Perspective. I can't always choose what happens, but I can always choose what I'm going to do with what comes.

Rock the Vote

At a friend's request, I've added a Rock the Vote widget to the blog. This tool lets you register to vote. With all the shit going on in the world today, politics matters. Do your part to change the world. Register to vote.

Sorting things out

I have a couple of different perspectives on life that I get wound up in at different times.

From the life perspective of the human being going through the processes of existence, I tend to take things very personally. My family, my job, my magic, my books, my students, my health, my impact on the world around me, and its impact on me. I am motivated, inspired, wounded, offended, angered and amused by the things that I experience. I react to it as if it were real, because it matters to me.

But I also recognize that these things, the things I do and feel and experience and know and learn and conjure and all that, they all are meaningful only within the context of my life, and they aren't nearly as meaningful to you. Some things we experience in the world are equally meaningful for both of us, but most of what happens to you doesn't mean anything to me, and vice versa. So I try to remember that at a social level, the things that are meaningful to me are not necessarily going to be meaningful to you.

Furthermore, I've stood at the apex of the hierarchy of spiritual beings and looked out at the universe as it unfolds. I've climbed Jacob's Ladder with the other Angels, and seen that the things I worry most about personally are not that important in the grand scheme of things, even though they are part of it all. At a universal level, the cramp I get in my shoulders when I slouch as I type is not a world-ending event.

And speaking of the end of the world, I've also seen that. It all ends. Sooner or later. Personally, it ends with death. Socially, it ends with the collapse of civilization. Universally it ends when everything collapses back in on itself or expands to the point that it no longer interacts, or if it's all just random shit popping up with no plan, it could all just collapse back into the probability soup that spawned it at any second. The conditions that allow life on the Earth are cosmically temporary and will pass, and there's always a possibility that a singularity might just come into being in my cube and suck the Earth and Sun and Milky way into an event horizon at any second anyway. If the Earth is still around in 4 billion years, life and the conditions to maintain it will be long gone.

So, knowing that it doesn't really matter in the long run, I've got this perspective on life that allows me to take it less than seriously. And the things I take seriously, I don't take all that seriously. I hold opinions because I like to, not because they are particularly right or wrong. I know I see things from a very selfish perspective most of the time, and knowing that mitigates my attachment to them. I value opinions primarily based on the entertainment content.

Let's take the issue of piracy as an example, because it's been on my mind lately. I care a great deal about people stealing from me. I don't like it.

That said, I know it's going to happen. I found out this weekend someone is printing and binding copies of my stuff and selling it from a van at Pagan Pride events in Massachusetts, and probably elsewhere as well. In addition, someone posted the Modern Goetic Grimoire on yet another file sharing site. The file sharing site removed the content at my request, kudos to them for that. I've contacted the pagan pride organizers and sent out some specific entities to address the other problem as well.

But dude, free advertising! I don't know how many of the recent additions to my followers came from that file sharing site, nor do I particularly care. I just like that over the weekend, my followers grew. When I do come out with my next books, I'll make a couple more sales. Jason's outlook on piracy has greatly impacted my own, and while I don't like it much, I adapt and integrate the inevitable theft of my work into my business model.


And it gives me a chance to hone some skills hunting down and extracting just retribution from those who steal from me. Being a Christian Magician, I rarely get a chance to curse people as much as I'd like to, so I appreciate this kind of opportunity. And the issue of piracy gives me something to rant about in public, and ranting is therapeutic. It's like weeding a garden, you get to kill plants but you don't have to feel bad about it. It's a win-win.

But really, in the long run, I don't really give a shit about piracy. It happens, life goes on. Why would I sacrifice a moment of fun over something as ephemeral as a few lost sales? If it's not fun, or interesting, I don't think it's really worth my time.

And for the record, I don't do death curses over pirated works. That would be rather extreme. Branding the aura with "Do not trust this thief" is sufficient. They won't get jobs, they won't get laid, they won't get anything in life that requires trust, or anything that requires them to obey the rules of society. People will just know they can't trust the person.

And the demons will eat their souls.

Arrr! Avast ye scurvy knaves, it do be time to address ye piracy yet again!

Jack wrote something about piracy that ought to get a bit of press. While I don't like piracy, I do happen to agree with his more salient practical points, and to borrow a bit of his wisdom, I'd like to make a public address to ye olde internet pirates:

Dear pirates: 


Please stop giving out what you have to everyone. The boys making these books need to buy food. So at least wait for a year. During that year, be sure just to give copies to your friends… Who should at least review the book, or bring attention to it somehow. 


Thanks,


The Authors


PS: The curse on ye uploaders of my stuff to ye torrents or other file sharing tech are still very much in effect. Though some think a death curse is warranted, I do not. I just curse you with suffering more than usual until you pull my work from the torrent and pay me $50 in restitution. 

The Very Best Cold Dish

Henry Jenkins had a bit of built up tension in his life. His masseuse noticed it and commented that he needed to find a way to relax, and she suggested meditation and spiritual pursuits she found personally helpful. He grunted noncommittally and she sighed and got back to work on the deep tissues, wondering why she even bothered with her wealthier clients. It’s not like anyone with that much money had any interest in spirituality.

Of course, she was wrong. Henry Jenkins had spent a much higher percentage of his lifetime studying and applying spiritual teachings from around the world than she could in twenty years, even if she became a cloistered nun tomorrow. His material success was due to the practical application of several simple spiritual principles, in fact. “Leveraging relationships in high places,” he liked to call it when he was in good company.

Of course, for most of his life, being in “good company” meant being very nearly completely alone.  It was a regrettable state of affairs Henry Jenkins had spent years trying to correct. At last his plans were nearing fruition, and he could finally begin raising the spiritual awareness of most of the population on Earth simultaneously, bringing them closer to Enlightenment as a whole, and kicking off a golden age of  wisdom, beauty and peace that hadn’t been seen since the days of Atlantis. If he remembered right.

Just as soon as he killed the last three assholes on his list.

Gregory Hills. Gregory was a pastor’s son who had once given Henry very bad advice. Alcohol and prescription drugs were involved, and the near complete annihilation of a complete spiritual ecosystem. Women and children had been deeply scarred from that experience, and it had taken Henry years to treat and heal those scars Gregory had left. Gregory must die.

Travis Thompson. Travis was a gifted and talented young man with a bright and shining future ahead of him. He was in the Future Business Leaders of America, Advanced Placement courses in English, Math, and Science. In the 9th grade, he could solve complicated calculus equations simply by looking at them, though he had not yet figured out how to show the work explaining his solutions with those who couldn’t keep up. He even excelled in art, with a gallery in the nicer side of town already having sold a piece of his work when he was still 15. Then his parents divorced, and things … changed. By his senior year, he was on his last strike before being permanently expelled. He was well known as a drug dealer, and he regularly beat up other students, and stole almost everything that wasn’t nailed down. He had threatened to stab a teacher, and one day had the bad judgment to hold a drill with a large bit to the arm of Henry Jenkins in a Technical Theater class. Henry had seen the drill was unplugged and had registered no fear as he gazed into Travis’ eyes without flinching, and Travis, still slightly in multiple realms from a recent mushroom excursion, caught a glimpse of something truly vast in the depths of Henry’s soul. Letting him go, he said, “You’re psychotic” with a touch of awe in his voice. Yes, Travis Thompson had seen too much. Travis also must die.

Theresa Von Shwaartzenhymen. Theresa was a blond lady driving a small red car who made the poor choice of cutting off Henry Jenkins in traffic, and then flipping him the bird. Perhaps the biggest obstacle to his plans for global enlightenment, Henry didn’t even know her real name, and strongly suspected he had forgotten the make and model of the car entirely. He had several spiritual agencies searching for her, but to date had come up with nothing solid.

Perhaps it was latent frustration over this seemingly insurmountable obstacle his masseuse was feeling in his shoulders. He promised himself not to fall into the trap of forgetting who he was and why he was here, and he felt the deep tensions begin to break up and disappear. When he left, he gave the masseuse a large tip, and wrote, “Samsara: Profitable in proper proportions.” on the back of her invoice. The obscure cuneiform script he chose made her curious in passing, but thoughts of any hidden meaning were pushed aside when her next customer came in, still sweating from a long day at Wimbledon.

"Still not ready to retire yet, Mr. Agassi?" she asked with a smile. "Let's see what we can do for you before you get too stiff."

On Magical Insurgency

I got a fascinating message on facebook this week. A young man (younger than me, anyway) wrote me to ask about using magic to address Fox News' policy of witholding information to influence public opinion, and the FDA and the poisoned meat and dairy they're killing us with, and generally taking a socially responsible magical stance against the things that are documented to be against our best interests as a society (as opposed to the crackpot conspiracy theories of things that are against our best interests as a society; he's not a flake or a nut).

Long time readers know this is right up my alley when it comes to doing magic. I love politically and socially motivated planned strategic tactical strikes that result in the world being made a better place for everyone. I did magic in the Obama-McCain election that had some fascinating results in my own life, that revealed there were spiritual players in the game in high places pulling strings and manipulating events according to a plan that kicked off before the time an angel was set to guard the gates of Eden, and hasn't missed a single milestone yet. Even my own naive attempts at influencing events were part of their plan. I was so intrigued, and humbled.

So, I found myself telling him to be careful, and that he was being duped by the system into reinforcing the system.

At the same time, I advised him to go ahead and do what he thought was right, because it's fun and probably necessary. I warned him to keep in mind, however, that the world seems to exist at a constant level of "suck," and that while you may remove an instance of suck from one aspect of the world, things will settle back into the overall suck equilibrium eventually regardless.

Political and social magic is effective, and useful, and if you're into being a Secret Chief or the Invisible Hand or a Shadow Governor, it's a valid and useful path to follow. Magic will empower those who seek this kind of control over the world. The system has a place for Shadow Governors, it's like a job position that you can earn, claim, and take on for yourself. You get all the responsibilities and consequences of taking the role, of course, and that can be more than most people bargain for, but it's possible to do that using magic if that's your thing.

But the System exists almost entirely to maintain the System. It's a huge old tar baby. The more you take swings at it, the more stuck to it you get. The System is designed to take all energy devoted to destroying it and then using that energy to sustain itself. Become the Destroyer of Worlds, and you'll find you've managed to become the Creator of Worlds without intending to at all. And the inverse is also true, those who become Creators also become adept Destroyers. It's the push-pull effect. Samsara, I think the Buddhists call it, though I am by no means sure that I understand everything that word represents.

But while you can change some aspects of the System and how it might be manifesting at any given place and time, change itself is part of the System. You can't get OUT of the game while you're still playing the game. It's a lot like money. I used to be hell bent on getting more money so I could leave the game, go on permanent vacation and have no need to worry about providing food shelter clothing for me and my family anymore. I wanted the benefits of the System without having to work to maintain it. Or at least to greatly reduce the time spent performing the work maintaining my place in the System. To me, money was the key to that, because money is the grease that keeps the system running, the fuel it burns, and the output it produces. Or so I thought.

But I realized something. The real fuel, grease, and output the System uses and produces is attention. Awareness. The money is a marker, but it really measures how much attention you've given the System.

So anyway, social justice, consumer protections, and issues like piracy, or net neutrality, or impartially presented information from the press (ha!), or the quality of our meats and/or grains are all important issues, things that can be addressed with magic, and probably should be addressed with magic. At the same time, it needs to be remembered that every swing at the tar baby gets another of your noodly appendages stuck to the tar baby. Don't swing an appendage you're fond of, or that you won't mind having to clean up later.

Friends help friends move

So last week, I'm pulling this heavy-ass dresser up a set of stairs on a hand truck, and the thing is killing me. I really feel my muscles giving out, my joints popping, and my bones being broken. I need help, and there's no one to help me. And no one around. So I conjure up my HGA and ask him to give me a hand.

Pain's gone, the thing weighs less, and I can roll it up the last few steps easy.

I can think of many reasons it worked, many ways to explain what happened, what might have happened, how it may have worked, and so forth.

But I called an angel for help lifting a heavy object, and received it. And that makes me pretty happy.

Read any good books lately?

Sorry for the inconvenience, I pasted the wrong code earlier and just noticed it. So I deleted the old "Read any good books lately" post and reposted it. This time with the right code, fer sure. I think.

And now you're up to date. On with the movie!

Great Old Spice

Orders

If you've ordered something from that nifty Google Checkout gadget I had up for the last couple of weeks, and haven't received an email link to download your item, please let me know, and I will email you the item.

Sorry for any inconvenience, I blame my ignorance.

Unforgiveable Sin

I don't usually talk Christian Theology on my blog, but today I'll make an exception.

According to the Bible, Christians are supposed to TRY REAL HARD not to sin, but if we fail, the blood of Christ is sufficient to cover those sins, and we just ask for forgiveness and help not sinning any more, and then carry on.

However, there is one unforgiveable sin, that is, blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. There's a lot of debate in the Church at large about what, exactly, that means. I don't know for sure, but I'm pretty sure it's when you fail to clean up your dog's shit when you're walking them in other people's yards.

Kidnapping Jesus and holding him for ransom is forgiveable.

My kind of magic

I love Balthazar's latest post. That's my kind of magic.

Satire

I live and breathe it. So do you. Try to keep that in mind.

Piracy... Again

Right on Scarlet Imprint!

Regular readers here know my stance on piracy of published materials. Fuck you, pirates. I will personally hang you as a warning to other would be pirates. You're not captain jack sparrow, you're a pasty-fleshed dweeb with enough money for a computer and a scanner, and as the Scarlet Imprint post says, you can fucking afford to pay for the books. You're just a dick. And not the cool Black Brother kind of dick, you're the steals-from-the-poor dick.

Thanks to Jack for pointing me to that post. Neat to see other magicians pointing out how stupid it is to steal from a magician. And yes, Jack, I would love to read an article exploring the "intrinsic links" between capitalism and piracy.

"How" is not "Why"

Apparently top physicists haven't figured out the difference between "how" and "why." In a review of The Grand Design by Stephen Hawking and Leonard Mlodinow, this article says they answer "why we are here." Then it goes on to explain that Hawking and Mlodinow provide an easy-to-understand explanation of how the universe (and others) came into being out of nothing.

Unfortunately, they have confused How a thing happens, which science is very good at explaining, with Why a thing happens, which science is unequipped to answer. "Why are we here?" is not answered with references to particles and such. Science doesn't have any facts or measurements that can quantify the meaning of life.

The idea that science can provide an answer to why we are here is a fallacy, and it can lead to people thinking that because science has no answer, there is no reason. Don't fall into the trap.

I have my theories about why I'm here, based on my experiences and research. I don't claim to have the answer for everyone, but I've found meaning in my life, and I'm happy with that.

If you can't find meaning in your life, at least make up something that's fun.

Clarification: On Assholes

Due to some confusion over the last post, I'd like to clarify:

The "don't be a dick" advice I gave was not intended for the Black Brotherhood. You're supposed to be a dick. For you, the Mercury Retro warning should go something like:

Warning: We're in the thick of it! You're going to give a shit what people think, and feel obliged to behave as if you were a part of the culture you were born to dominate through your dark arts. Feelings of compassion and camaraderie may manifest, but don't let that make you lose sight of your long-term destiny. This time is perhaps best spent designing a new floor in your Tower in the Abyss.

Hermetic Magicians: Warning!

We're in the thick of it! Mercury is fully retrograde. Chances are pretty good that if you're practicing some form of Hermetic-related magic, you are, right now, an asshole.

Uhm, more so than usual.

In fact I'm sure some people will realize that I'm being an asshole right now, just by mentioning it! It's true, right now I am an asshole. I realized this when I wrote:

Unhappiness vibes are spreading through the world and trying to steal the sunshine. It's worse than the Nothing, it's the Nothing is Good. Happiness is in peril!

I propose that everyone on the planet needs to go through a happiness intensive, two weeks where they unwind and are forced to be happy, whatever it takes. And then, after two weeks of being happy, if they're still bitter negative pessimistic bitches, they should be put out of their misery.

Happiness or death!

And I meant it, too.

So yeah, a happy asshole is a dangerous asshole, apparently.

Take precautions. Mitigate the situation, ask yourself, am I being a dick right now?

The answer is probably yes.

Next, don't be a dick.

Nope.

Don't do it.

I know.

Trust me, I know. It's hard. Just don't be a dick. Take a walk. Breathe. Meditate. No snarking. Don't send the post. Take the high road. Wait it out. Don't offer any advice, it's asshole advice.