Monday, March 24, 2014

Cube Farm Magic

I work from home these days, and I tend to take it for granted that I can just print off a picture of Hermes, light a candle and incense, say a prayer, and have instant magics on demand. I have to remind myself that everyone doesn't live exactly like I do sometimes.

There will be no bonuses again
this quarter due to poor performance.
YOUR poor performance.
But things haven't ever been thus! I too was stuck in a cube farm*. Most of the buildings I've worked in as cube-cattle have been pretty depressing places. If a place has cube farms, you can bet that even the middle management knows its getting screwed; there's an air of quiet desperation that you can taste.

The astral miasma of places like that is pretty awful, and going into a place like that every day can get super depressing, super fast.

Fortunately, we're magicians and we can do stuff about that kind of thing. A few well-placed sigils of Michael the Archangel of the Sun in corners, under desks, in cabinets, etc. can do wonders. I used yellow sticky notes, and simply sketched the seals out during the closest solar hour. Ideally you'd make them at home on a Sunday at dawn with the Sun in a Fire Sign, and your natal chart completely unafflicted, using the blood of a goat specifically killed by a flaming pheonix that just happened to be an Aries...

But life's not always ideal. Sketch the seals in a Solar hour, and you're good. Sketch them in a non-solar hour, and you're still in a better position than if you hadn't. When it comes to doing magic, there will always be a reason you don't do it right now. Sometimes I wait, but mostly I recommend you do the magic now, and if there's a better time for it, do it again then to reinforce the rite. Because you never know whether or not something else will come up later.

You'll find your cube isn't quite the downer it used to be pretty quickly. I found my cube became a depressurization zone for other people too, which I nipped in the bud ASAP. I had just cleansed my cube, I didn't need them bringing their shit back in. Plus I had work to do.

So, you can just write the name Michael, and draw his seal under it (the part inside the hexagram), or you can get all CRAZY and draw out the whole lamen shown below. I recommend making at least one and putting it under your desk, but also a few more to place around the walls in inconspicuous places. When they are positioned, say a quick prayer to Michael, thus:

"Michael, thou Archangel of the Sun! Come now, come in Power, by your Name and your Seal, I call upon the forces of the Sun to cleanse this place! Consume utterly all darkness and drive off every unclean, parasitic, or plaguing spirit; sanctify and make sacred this ground, that it be a holy place wherein I can work in peace, FFS, Amen."

Feel free to change that last part, or any of it, to suit your own style.



* For those who don't know, a cubicle is a fabric-coated metal-framed pen that you keep domesticated office workers in; a cube farm is an otherwise large open space that has had rows of these cubes inserted with workstation hookups for computers and laptops. The fabric comes in two colors, suck-your-will-to-live beige, or crush-your-individuality-and-conform gray. I don't know where they find these hues, but they. always. do.

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