Thursday, May 26, 2011


Spring's here, and I get to play outside in the Kingdom. Since writing the Home Pwnership post, I've been craving delicious kabobs, so I made some. It's easy, it's delicious, and it's fun. It's only magical in that I'm a magician. If you're looking for secret occult insights into greater enjoyment of your world, this could technically count, but that's totally stretching it. I didn't conjure anything, and the only holy rites I performed was saying grace before I ate. If you're looking for cool magical stuff, this post isn't for you.

And Deb, this is a tribute to your weekly recipe posts. To the regular readers who are looking for magic posts, I promise not to do weekly recipe stuff, but once in a while you can expect to see some flotsam and jetsam like this wash up on the blog.

  • Meat cubes (I like red meat cubes. You can get enough to feed a family of 5 for $5.)
  • Kabob sticks
  • Baby bella mushrooms
  • Vidalia onions
  • Green pepper
  • Grape or Cherry tomatoes
  • Montreal Steak Seasoning
  • Sweet Baby Ray's Barbecue sauce
  • Minute Rice
  • Lipton pitcher sized tea bag
  • Earl Grey single cup tea bag

  1. Put the meat cubes in a bowl and season them thoroughly with Montreal Steak Seasoning.
  2. Cut the peppers and onions into 1" squares.
  3. Build kabobs.
  4. Throw them on a grill.
  5. Put some barbecue sauce over them.
  6. Close the lid.
  7. Go put the water on to boil for the rice.
  8. Put a cup of water in a microwave safe measuring cup, throw in the tea bags, and microwave it for two minutes.
  9. While that's cooking, go flip your kabobs. 
  10. Put another layer of BBQ sauce on 'em.
  11. Close the lid.
  12. Go back in and the water's probably boiling for your rice. Add the rice and mix it up and set it in the back burner, covered, to absorb the water and become instant rice-like product.
  13. Take the tea out of the microwave and get the bags out.
  14. Mix it in a pitcher with cold cold water and sweeten to taste.
  15. Flip the kabobs again and add another layer of BBQ sauce.
  16. Set the table, dish the rice out and get the cups and ice out.
  17. Fetch the kabobs.
  18. Gather up the family and serve.

So freakin' good. Not that unhealthy. Took about half an hour altogether. Cost about $20 and fed all five of us and there were leftovers. Should have tenderized the meat a bit, but my wife was on the phone, and I didn't want to make a ruckus.

Wiki-Philosophy Trivia

Today on XKCD the alt text says that if you click the first hyperlink on any page in wikipedia that is not in parentheses or in italics, and repeat that process, you will eventually end up at Philosophy.

I checked Lake Trout. 13 clicks later I was at philosophy.

From Tauroctony, 24 clicks.

From Nachos, 19 clicks.

From Magick, 19 clicks.

Gate of Venus

The ongoing Gates series. Sooooo tired. Can't write.

Venus, beautiful Venus. Creation, procreation, uh, production, relationships, all that stuff. Venus stuff. And kingdom living.

Whew, need to get this stuff done sooner. Order at my ebooks page or from this blog post:

$11.95 (USD)


Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Home Pwnership

Ok, so Mr. White is writing interesting things about magic, money, and apocalypse living for the rest of us. Very interesting things. The last installment I read addressed home ownership and how we've all been sold a lie for the last three generations.

I have a different perspective. I happen to own my home, and while I've been through some issues as a result, I still prefer it to renting for a living.

So I did some research. First off, I thought, it's an investment. You buy a house, spend 30 years paying it off, and yeah, you spend a lot in interest, but you'd spend about that on rent anyway, and when it's paid for, it's worth more than when you bought it. It's gone up in value, and you sell it at a profit! How can you go wrong?

So I checked the figures.

That chart's from Standard and Poor's Case-Shiller's home price index. As you can see, the value of a home obviously does go up over time. If you bought your house in 1900, your investment would have doubled if you managed to sell it at the peak of 2008. You just have to have long term views, and, uh, know when the market's going to crash again...

Ok, even I, with my amazing powers of bullshittery, couldn't sell that to myself. Look at the figures! Pretty much, if you ever buy a house and pay for it for 30 years, you're going to be lucky if you can sell it for what you paid for it. Once in a while the prices spike, but then they collapse. It's a long shot, and chances are pretty good that you're going to lose if you're trying to get rich owning a home.

Ok, so what about taxes? I just filed a shitload of taxes, and I got back a lot of money because of my house. Repairs are tax deductible, interest is tax deductible, just about everything I spend that I can say is related to the house is tax deductible. Altogether I get back a lot of money by owning a house, and renters don't get that, so nyah nyah nyah.

So I figured out how much I spent on my house in a year, including maintenance, mortgage payments and interest and taxes and all that, and the tax deductions I earned offset that a bit, but not really enough to make a solid case for home ownership.

So then I compared it to renting, straight up. I ran the numbers based on all the pros and cons from that Freakonomics article, and this is what I came up with based on my experience and actual numbers.

For a $200,000 house, you spend about $690,000 over the lifetime of your mortgage on your house. It's mostly interest, which gets you a tax rebate each year, for now, until Obama cuts that deduction. Renting a place with as much space as I have here would cost me about $662,000 over 30 years, including the storage unit I'd need for all the stuff in the garage. You could argue I don't need that stuff, but I'd argue back, so the fuck what, it's my stuff and I don't have to pay extra to be happy. At the end of 30 years, I will have spent $28,000 more than the renter, but I'd own the property, and it would probably be about worth what I paid for it, give or take a couple grand. So over 30 years, I'd be making $172,000, or $5,733 a year. That's around $477 a month. Not bad for a side revenue stream. In bad times, I can get a low interest loan if necessary. And it's 30 years of living in a house however I want to, not in an apartment, and no landlords rummaging through my shit when I'm at work.

Now there are a lot of variables that can be thrown into this kind of argument. Most people own for five to ten years and then sell before they've really paid a lot on their mortgages. After the dust settles, they walk away with roughly what they started with when they bought the house, or less. Some get more, once in a while. Other people set up bi-monthly mortgage payments that drastically reduce the interest payments and get the house paid off a lot faster, and they walk away with even more money. Other people buy foreclosed homes and flip them, and I know a lot of contractors (I live in a blue collar neighborhood, and there are four contractors on my block doing this, plus a couple parents of my kids' friends at school) who bought houses at auction that are making a killing even in this economy renovating them themselves and selling them cheap. There are more ways to skin this cat than I can think of.

So overall, owning a house can be a profitable investment, financially speaking, even if you spend three times what it's worth over the life of the loan.

But on the down side, it's a pain in the ass. The neighbors can complain about your cats shitting in their bushes. You're going to have about $2500-$4000 a year in unexpected expenses (which I factored into the total cost) that you'll have to figure into your budget. You have to file all those fucking Home Depot or Lowes receipts to get the deduction. You have to mow the lawn or the neighbors will call the city, so you're going to need a lawn mower and a weedeater. You'll have flower gardens and pools, if you have a spouse into making your house look good, or kids to entertain in the summer, and that's more expense. You'll need siding, a roof, and your gutters will fall off. And no one will fix it but you, unless you pay someone to do it, and chances are good that your DIY project is going to cost all the materials you buy, plus the contractor you hire to fix it when it gets all fucked up. The plumbing...

Jesus, did you know that plumbers just basically go into a house and plumb it however the fuck they want? As long as the water goes down the right hole, it's pretty much legal. I'm pretty sure the people who plumbed this house over the last 60 years were dabblers in the Necronomicon. If I ran all the faucets and flushed all the toilets at the same time, Marduk would appear in the living room, no lie.

So there's a lot of headache in home ownership. I spend probably 32 hours a month taking care of my house. If I'm making $477 a month, that's only $15 an hour, and I won't get paid for 30 years.

But you know, neighbors in general suck. Ever notice how many hot foot powder anecdotes involve neighbors?  Neighbors bitch about you no matter how close or far away they live. I lived in the country a mile and a half away from my nearest neighbor as a kid, and people bitched about my dog getting out and chasing their cows. It happened ONCE, and I heard about it for years. I was ten. Those old ranchers gave me shit about it til I moved at 13. "Keepin' an eye on yer dog?" Fuckers.

But in apartments, the neighbors are right the fuck there. I hate that shit. The closer you are to someone separated from you by two sheets of drywall, the more irritating bullshit you're going to hear from them and they're going to hear from you. Condos are the same, and so are town houses or row homes. People too close bitch at each other. At least in my house, they're far enough away that I only hear from them when the cats are shitting in their bushes. And I've only heard about that shit once in 4 years.  They're cats. Cats shit in bushes. They also kill rats and those little bunnies you hate eating your hastas. But I'll keep them inside, fine, see how you like it. I'm not bitter. Fuckers.

And I have a lot more privacy and freedom of choice about my immediate living environment. Yeah, I can knock down the walls when I feel like it, and I can do about anything I want as long as it's safe and legal. I have fewer restrictions about how I can decorate my life. I can go out in my backyard and grill up a steak or barbecued chicken kabobs whenever I want, without having to go to some park that lets you use their grill. That Freakonomics guy writes that off, but fuck him. I like it, it makes me happy, and that has intrinsic value in and of itself. Making me happy is important to me.

I'm also rooted in one community. That's important for people, especially people with kids. Successful people are generally not moved around every couple years of their lives as kids. They grow up knowing people who get ahead, and in turn help them to get ahead. They have somewhere they're from. They have friendships that last lifetimes. Kids like me who moved around a lot growing up tend to be shiftless vagabonds all our lives. I'd still be nomading about if it weren't for my Capricorn wife nailing me down to one spot. I had no idea how nice it is to be established in one place until she managed to do that. There are perks to working in the same area for a decade too.

Now the dude in the Freakonomics article says that renters have more cash in the bank than people buying homes. Uh, how many of you renters see that "extra money" you have? Anyone? Right. Because what you don't spend on your rent, you spend on something else. Are you a brilliant savvy investor? Hell, can you even save money in an interest bearing account? I can't.

But I can pay my mortgage.

So what's the value of renting? Really, the things that are best about renting instead of owning boil down to preference. You're not making as much money, unless you're disciplined with your cash, but you have fewer responsibilities. You have fewer liberties too. And you're right up your neighbor's (or landlord's) asshole all the time, and they're right up yours, and generally not in a pleasant way.

So yeah, there could be a three-generation ad campaign that's programmed me to think a certain way, but when I do the math and look at my life, my preferences, my skills, my goals, and my responsibilities to my family, home ownership is a better option. Gordon's life is better suited for renting, and his mind is better suited to taking advantage of all that extra cash he's got from renting than mine. My brain power that would go towards that is spent on kid-management and such. If I were single and disciplined, maybe I'd find his approach more appealing, but I'm not. I'll take the home.

And for the record, I'm aiming to go on the bimonthly mortgage payment that gets me out of the interest 15 years ahead of schedule, so when the dust settles, I'll be making a lot more than $15 an hour for this investment. It just takes strategy.

Breaking the Silence of the last week or so

Once in a while, I stumble upon something really awesome in this occult stuff that changes my world. The Planetary Gates series I've been writing has been one of those experiments. Drawing down the powers of the spheres, focusing them into my "kingdom," taking responsibility for and authority over the things in my life that I needed to has been an incredible process.

The last couple of weeks, I've been in the manifestation phase, where all the work I've done up Above gets hammered into place here Below. It's the process of integrating and manifesting the powers from the heavenly spheres. So I've been busy, and I haven't had a lot of left over bandwidth to write blog posts.

On the plus side, I have started my rose bush garden in my back yard, I've hauled away two truck loads of useless junk in my garage, and I've taken major strides towards achieving fiscal responsibility. You know all those little pieces of paper you're supposed to keep track of? Filing them away really does help you out a lot. In large, financial ways. And failing to file them away properly in the moment means that later on, when there are three or four piles of envelopes to go through looking for a tax paper you should have filed, there will be heck to pay. Hoo. Ha. Heck, I tell you.

Kingdom management, man. It's good to be the king... most of the time. When you've improperly managed the kingdom, the subjects rise up in revolt, and it's your neck on the chopping block. And your best friend will be holding the axe. And you'll deserve it!

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Worst Demon Ever: Spasmodius





Serves under Elemental Prince:



Can totally make you feel all insecure and nervous, makes you laugh a little too loud at social gatherings when you think you've said something witty, but also makes you aware that everyone is just sort of looking at you and trying to think of a way to go get something to drink or eat or somefuckingthing to get the hell away from you before anyone thinks you're together.

Also responsible for whipping up political paroxysms among bleeding heart liberals and their mouth-breathing inbred white tea bagger mortal enemies over such trivialities as sexual preference or the relative amount of melanin in someone's dermis and the impact that has on their right to answer the call of God in their lives as they see fit.

Indications of the presence of Spasmodius: gross insecurity, infectious drama queenery, increased caffeine intake, fervent postings on Facebook of political articles hyperbolizing the issues to increase their own sales, head-for-the-hills-the-sky-is-falling advice presented in intelligent and even-tempered, but maniacally persistent discourse, or the posting of five or more blog posts of more than five paragraphs each on a given topic within three days.


Banishing rites:

Spasmodius cannot abide the forces of the sphere of Saturn. Something about a vision of eternity and the beginnings and endings of all things just seems to snap things into perspective, robbing him of his ability to create anxiety, angst, or low-level fear and paranoia over STUPID-ASS BULLSHIT.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

The Gate of Saturn

I just finished the Gate of Saturn. I had this feeling I needed to get it done before moving on to the rest.

I recommend completing the other Gates first, a full cycle of the other planets before moving on to Saturn.

It's available on my eBooks page, or you can purchase it here. Same old price, $11.95 USD.

Monday, May 09, 2011

Beyond 101

On the cover of Jason Miller's Protection and Reversal Magick, it says the book is part of the "Beyond 101" series of books they offer at New Page. I love that phrase. I like to think I write at that level. I figure if you're reading this blog and keeping up, you've been through all the intro stuff a few times and you've got some basic definitions that don't need to be reiterated.

As a result of this approach, I've gathered a readership of really intelligent, experienced, and gifted magicians. That was why I started blogging in the first place, and I've totally succeeded.


Yeah, that's all I've got to say right now. See, I'm cutting down on my nicotine consumption at the moment, and I really want to just rip someone's fucking head off for sport. So I'm thinking about nice things. Good things. My smart readers. My practicing magician friends who get the Work, and mold their theories on observation instead of the other way around. Not the idiot. Not thinking about him. Nope. Not that other one either. Breathing... breathing... Ahhh... peace. Acid Peace. Peace that travels up the spine like jagged lightning spikes, herkin' left, jerkin' right. Highly energized frenetic peace that just wants to beat something's face in because it's just that time already...

fuck it. quitters never win.

Sunday, May 08, 2011

To Mom

Mom, I hope you don't read this blog, because I know you would be sure as shit convinced I'm going straight to hell. I'm not, I promise, but I know you worry. Don't. Jesus' blood was sufficient for my sins too.

I'm reading some friends' posts about mom's day, and I just wanted to tell you, you rock. And thanks. For everything.

Understanding Renaissance Writing

The archaic language of the grimoires or Agrippa or something like the Hieroglyphic Monad seems to be easier to process if I picture it being read by James Earl Jones as Darth Vader, with the respirator sound effects in the background and everything.

Saturday, May 07, 2011

Jupiter Warning:

Don't do a ritual for wealth and health and expansion on a Thursday and then take a day off on Friday. I did, and I've got a bajillion orders to take care of.

Still, I needed that day off. I wrote no Gate, I conjured no spirit, I did not go to work, nor check email, nor facebook. Much.* The only vaguely work related thing I had to do was some paperwork. Other than that, baseball. Good times.

Now, back to Work.

*Just enough to keep off the DTs.

Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Eventually, Things Improve

I've been doing a lot of divinations for people lately. Consult this, business that, job this, hex that, and I've seen it there in every divination I've done:

Keep your tray in the upright position, place your head between your knees, and kiss your ass goodbye, because the plane's going DOWN, motherfucker, in flames!

Ok, not really. The real message I keep getting across the board for everyone in whatever situation they might be in is this:

Eventually, things improve.

The boss that's riding your ass and making your life hell goes away and you get a raise and things get better at work. The relationship issues that have you ready to kill your SO or yourself eventually fade away, you get over the pain, and you find pleasure in a different aspect of the relationship, and... things get better. The financial crisis hurts like a bitch, and then you get a job, and things get better. The curse is lifted and things get better. Your dog dies, you grieve, and then things get better.

Things always get better, folks. Eventually. It sucks to go through the shit times, but they're temporary. They aren't going to kill you, and even if they do, you'll survive in some fashion. If you've done the GREAT WORK you'll survive as a Power, and if you haven't you'll survive as a turnip or a cabbage or something. A happy one*.

Just do what you need to do to put out the fires in your life, and be patient. No matter how bad things are, matters will improve, eventually.

Keep your head.

Don't panic.


Assess the situation, plan your resolution, execute the plan, and reap the results. You'll see. Things get better.

* I have it on good authority that cabbages spend most of their existence in happiness, except for the part where they're stir fried and served steaming over rice towards the end there, but hey, nothing's perfect

Monday, May 02, 2011

Watch "Team America World Police Theme America Fuck Yeah EXPLICIT WARNING" on YouTube

Ok, he's dead. Bring the boys back home. Don't leave the children on their o-o-own... Bring the boys back home.

Sunday, May 01, 2011

Update on Dirt

I now have:

  • Florida
  • Texas
  • California
  • Maine
  • Washington State

I still need:

  • Montana or North Dakota
  • Nebraska

Also, a friend brought up the Gateway Arch. I know there aren't many Missourians that read, but anyone have access to that? Something from a flower bed or something like that nearby would be great.

The Gate of the Sun

Ok, the next Gate ritual and talisman creation guide is available on my web site. It's also available through this fabulous blog post at the end.

The Gate of the sun was a necessary thing for me to write up. I've been going through these Gate Ceremonies to integrate the forces released in our weekly Jupiter rites, and trying to get it grounded so it doesn't dissipate. By traveling through the Gates of the planets, by conjuring the intelligences of each and working with them, I'm establishing a flow of the forces through all aspects of my manifest existence.

As the forces get integrated along the way, I've been going through growing pains. I had done a Saturn rite the week before, and then when I started doing the Jupiter rite, it quickly filled in the bandwidth I'd acquired. Still, it didn't overwhelm me, so that's a good thing. The Mars rite gave me discipline to follow through on the projects inspired by the Jupiter stuff, and it also got me through a lot of other things I didn't know I'd needed to get through. Always an adventure, this process, let me tell you.

But today I was in dire need of the Sun. It had become imperative that I visit and get that force tempered a bit. In Mars it had taken on a fierceness, an intensity to win and do things well and do them right that surprised people who are used to my mild mannered alter ego, Josh. Not always in a good way, either.

It's funny, I'm writing these things after doing the rite of the previous Gate, and I can see the previous sphere's forces manifesting in the voice and tone I take as I write the next one. When I become an author instead of a writer, I'll pay more attention to that kind of thing and aim for more consistency.

Anyway, the Gate of the Sun is available now for those playing along with me at home. Like the others, I talk about the King and Kingship theme and how it relates to the Sphere of the Sun, and also I provide some basic information about other aspects of Solar Magic that will apply beyond the context of Kingdom Ruling. It's $11.95(USD).

To order:

Or by Paypal: