Sunday, April 15, 2012

The Golden Dawn Saga: Episode 4.1 (Fanfic)

Dawn-Dawn-DAAAAAWN!!!
In the previous episode, we saw the daring leather-duster-bedecked hero narrowly escape a daring attempt on his life. Speculation on the true nature of this Phantom Menace's identity were tantalizingly dropped, hints given to open tiny windows into the tiny brain of the protagonist's inner paranoid delusions.



Could it have been an inside job? Was Fr. SR making a play for complete leadership of the HOGD? Or was it Nick Farrell, who suddenly discovered the ability to conjure his way out of a wet paper bag? Could it have been the Lovecraftian feline emissaries of Morgan "Machiavelli" Eckstein? Slideshow Blob, casting curses from whatever cheap hotel he's hiding from the authorities in? One of the nameless Silent Majority, sick to death of the bullshit and finally realizing they only swore to do no evil, and this might not count?

Or maybe... just maybe... it was a previously unknown character, casting evil, dangerous black magick from such terrible forbidden tomes as...  the PICATRIX!!!


I must admit, I was hanging on the edge of my seat in fear for David's very life! Would he make it? Would he survive!?!? Would he learn to spell Miracle right!?!?!?!?? The suspense was killing me.

Fortunately, he lived. And boy, was I relieved. Let me tell you.

Well, by Christ, I wasn't going to let it slide, no way. If something happened to David, someone might blame me! Wouldn't want those dangerous GD magicians all cursing me and shit in their misguided defense of their thorny thorny rose.*

So the intrepid RO that I am, I searched high and low, releasing my hordes of astral Eyes and Ears to sniff out and report the dastardly perpetrator of this heinous event.

And at last I have found him!

Bitch, you're making my coat look stupid.
It was Neo the whole time!

Apparently he didn't take kindly to DG's appropriation of his iconic leather duster.

But don't worry, concerned citizens, I talked to him about the whole thing, and after he heard what I had to say he said:


And I was like, nah man, there are some really cool GD folks out there getting a lot out of the system. They aren't all douches or gullible fools easily led around by the nose, susceptible to ludicrous stories of made up persecutions to unite them against an imaginary common foe.

Some of them are really cool. With advanced senses of humor.

* Note to the stupid GD people who already are "cursing" me:

1) Sending the spirits of the Lemegeton's Goetia against me, especially those with whom I have an established working relationship, is hilarious. They're all, "Hey RO, guess who's mad at you? Want me to take 'em out for you?" And I'm all, "LOL, yeah."

2) I will lift countermeasures for the low, low price of $175.. no, for you it's $275. I didn't tell 'em to kill ya, oh no, nothing like that, you don't get off that easy. They're just going to take your money, your vehicles, your health, and for at least one of you, those you hold dear (bitch, you came after my family, for reals? That was stupid. I'm shocked that you would be so ignorant... oh wait, no I'm not.) Send me a grovelling apologetic email, make me really believe you're sorry, and I'll tell you where to send the money.

23 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. VL, this has nothing to do with you. If you don't like this ludicrous post, tell your Outer Order head to quit doing the same thing to his imaginary enemies.

    I don't have a problem with the GD. I have a problem with stupid representing the Great Work.

    You should too.

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  3. VL,

    WHY SO SRS?

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  4. To me this is all absurd and unfair. You are all going on at Griffin because you are all missing the point. His order is not a Golden Dawn one is a Griffin David one.

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  5. Although your posting is actually quite funny, you must know, RO, that by making fun out of the head of an Order, you make fun out of all the devoted members of this Order.

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  6. Oh, boy...

    Well, that was an entertaining post, to say the least.

    You still active with Goetia, or are you referring to spirits with whom you previously developed a relationship?

    It's interesting, all this talk of "Black Magician!", and yet apparently, certain Golden Dawners are attempting to curse you by way of the Goetia.

    I must say, I am ready to see all this silliness go away.

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  7. @Rene, the members of his Order should be writing protest letters to him regularly, standing up for the dignity of the Great Work every time he posts some stupid Star Trek, Matrix, McGD, or whatever post attacking people who aren't even talking about him. You people aren't doing it, so I will.

    @SEA, No, I'm not active with the Goetia of Solomon these days, but old agreements with spirit allies never really go away. They're still my distant kin.

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  8. Rene, Saturday Night Live makes fun of the US president all the time and that isn't a crack at the USA as a whole.
    Robert Zink used to make these bogus claims that any attack on him was an attack on the order. The reality was it was an attack on his ego as well as his false claims to lineage which his ego needed to believe to be a slightly stable person, because living a lie is much easier than living an exposed lie.
    David Griffin seems to be doing the same.

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  9. I was expecting the culprit to be the Michelin man http://www.adrants.com/images/michelin_man.jpg

    I give Griffin some nerd props for being into CosPlay, and he has some expensive costumes too, along with an expensive car. Lets hope he doesn't take the CosPlay to the extreme of being a Fury.

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  10. Personally I think DG has lost his marbles, but using my well honed investigative skills I've been able to discover that he is in fact correct in his assertion that there is now a conspiracy afoot and actively targeting him. In fact the two masterminds of the whole plot are also the ones responsible for the tire incident. An unlikely pair, these two, but apparently even this odd couple was brought to rage by recent events. Ronald McDonald and Francis Ford Coppola, director of The Godfather, have banded together in an unholy alliance, each angered by the utter disregard shown to their copyrighted logos and trademarks on the HOGD blog. Francis drove the tire truck while Ronald hurled tires at the noble steed, er, car in which our hero was driving.

    There, now you know the truth.

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  11. MC, wish comments had a +1 feature. :D

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  12. @ J.C.:
    I never had much sympathy for the american presidents and politics. But i always had a deep fascination for the american country and know a lot of americans whom i love.

    If you think Mr Griffin is living a lie, you may be forgiven.
    I for myself know from direct experience that his claims are true.
    And theres a big difference in just believing and knowing.
    But you cannot be blamed for whatever you believe to be right.
    I just hope for times when the respect between all magicians who work with the GD current is alive again, and all the hatred and envy, no matter under what humorous cloak, is settled.

    Because, after all, we strive for the same goals when trying to become "more than human", dont we?

    If this is also your goal, and the goal of all the others here, i do respect you all as brethren in the Great Work, no matter what you believe to be the truth.

    Yours in the Light,
    VH Fr L.

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  13. Rne, I don't strive for more than human, I simply strive to reclaim my full humanity. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. Plotinus, Porphyry, and Iamblichus teach the idea of reclaiming our divine heritage, remembering we are divine, and reclaiming our value. This might look like being "more than human" from the outside, but it isn't, not really. It's just being what we are, what we've forgotten in the process of consubstantiation with the flesh. Returning to our rightful place in the hierarchy of spirits.

    Regarding this:

    "I just hope for times when the respect between all magicians who work with the GD current is alive again, and all the hatred and envy, no matter under what humorous cloak, is settled."

    Have you said this to David? Have you expressed your disappointment in his lack of respect for Zink, Farrell, Eckstein, and the many others he will doubtless attack over the course of his increasingly limited lifespan? Do you see the lack of respect, the hatred and envy as you put it, in his posts, or are you too brainwashed to recognize your own leader behaves like a totally insecure ranting lunatic?

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  14. Satire is the sincerest form of flattery.

    Many thanks, Rufus.

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  15. You know what Frater RO, after a long day in the life of a rootworker, it is so much fun to pull up blogger and read your blog. You made my night--I am cracking up over here.

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  16. Gosh Frater RO! I got a good chuckle from the article, but I have to wonder why you are so interested in what goes on in the Golden Dawn community? And Yes, I am a member of the GD community and I'll take my Magician card back now, Thank you! Some of us are just not as vocal as others, mainly because we don't want to get caught in the cross-fire of any flame wars. We prefer to continue on doing the Great Work silently.

    Adesh!
    -Aghor Pir

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  17. Adesh Aghor!

    Loved your blog entry with all the awesome stuff about the Aghori beliefs, it was very informative.

    Suppose one of the sects of Nath Sampradaya imploded a hundred years ago, and splintered into a bunch of sects. Suppose today one splinter group copyrighted the name of the sect and tried to legally stop other members of the sect from using the name, but still continued to tell everyone they were the TRUE representatives of that sect and anyone else was a modern reconstruction. The claims of lineage are all falsified or unprovable, and all evidence points to the fact that no one of proper authority actually passed on any of the required initiations anyway. And suppose the leaders of the splintered group that copyrighted the name, while loudly proclaiming their validity and attacking the validity of any other splinter group, were so obviously not manifesting the traits and characteristics that traditionally came from the teachings of the sect that imploded.

    Now you're in another sect, and you see this splintered sect acting like an idiot all the time. Meanwhile, it's gotten so popular in modern times that people automatically think of that particular sect as the primary representative of all of Nath Sampradaya.

    How would you handle it?

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  18. @Frater RO - You know we've had something like that happen within the Nath Sampradaya. In the 1600s there was a yogi by the name of Baba Keenaram who studied in the Nath tradition and then decided to create his own tradition of "Aghora" that practiced in a different way than the majority of Aghoris of the Nath Tradition and how things were done in the past. He felt that LHP practices were not necessary for Aghoris, and concentrated only on RHP practices and charity work. He broke away from the Nath sect and started his own group. He got quite a bit of following and his followers have ashrams in many parts of the world. They are quite vocal on the internet and say that they are the "true" Aghoris and that their Guru was the founder of the Aghora tradition itself, which is total bullshit by the way, as Aghora has existed for a long time (some say hundreds or thousands of years) before even their sect came to be, and Aghoris have always been antinomian. While we still consider these "modern" Aghoris to be a limb from our tradition and don't deny their Aghori status, we Nath Aghoris ignore them for the most part, and do not consider them as representatives of the entire Aghori tradition. We continue on doing our spiritual work and practices silently. After all we are an "esoteric" tradition that does not go out looking for recruits.

    You ask how I would handle it? For the most part I would ignore it unless I was personally attacked. Then I would have to pull out my *Picatrix* and go with that old black magic(k). I'm not shy with my wand, ya' hear?

    Adesh!
    -Aghor Pir

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  19. LOL, you're right, Aghor. Thanks.

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  20. LE GASP! DG thinks you're a fan!!?

    THE HORROR!!

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  21. @Anon, did you think the documented history of the Secret Chiefs and the lineage of his Order were the only pieces of reality he grossly reshaped to fit his worldview? Oh no, it's EVERYTHING.

    Just like most of the rest of us.

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  22. I happen to know an anecdote or two about certain DG....

    He's so fucked up....

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