It's that most wonderful time of the year: Halloween! Samhain! All Saints! Walpurgisnacth! Raise the dead, joke with the damned, walk the Paths of Hel, Hella, Hades, shudder in dread in the shadow of Cromm, and dance to the maddening beat of vile drums and the thin monotonous whine of accursed flutes!
I suggest a Hunting Party. Gather up some heathens, a couple of coolers full of ice, and camp out at a farm of an accommodating friend of similar beliefs, or who will at least turn a blind eye and deaf ear to a night's revelry. You'll need a bonfire, and some hay bales to sit on. You'l need sparsely wooded "wild" areas to wander through in the dark, and a shallow stream someone can fall into and laugh about later. You'll need shadowed hidden places near enough to see the fire, but secluded enough for lovers to have their quality time together without intrusion.
Conjure up the Master of the Hunt. (Did I mention the Master of the Hunt?) You'll definitely need some Hunt Master. Also known as der Jaegermeister, this charming concoction must be stored in the coolers with the ice. Shot glasses are optional, because alcohol kills germs. Figure a minimum of a pint per attendee, and a chaser per person, and you'll bring about enough. I prefer Fraoch Heather Ale as the chaser. So good.
Meet at dusk and pitch the tents. (Did I mention the tents?) Note: pitch the tents BEFORE you start drinking. For serious.
Light the fire, cook some bratwurst on sticks. (Did I mention the bratwurst?) Crack the Ale, pour the first round of shots, and together toast the Spiritus Mundi, the Spirit of the World. Pour one shot on the ground. Another round is poured, and together toast the Genii Loci, the Spirits of the Land. Pour one shot on the ground. A third round is poured, with great solemnity, in silence, and the final toast is made to those who have come before, the honored dead who have passed over. Pour one shot on the ground.
After a moment of contemplation and somber reflection on the dead (which gives the alcohol time to permeate the blood stream), break out the fiddle and the bow, the flute and the drums, and let the drunken revelry commence! (Did I mention the fiddle and the bow and the drum and the flute?)
Note: At no point should anyone perform a conjuration as part of the Hunt Party. This ritual honors the Spirits, but is primarily a celebration for the living. Raise an army of the dead on your own time, with no booze involved.
Head for the Red: The ongoing adventures and insights of a magician's attempts to accomplish the Great Work.
Klaatu Verata Nicto!
ReplyDeleteI think I'm gonna have to opt out on this one. ;)
ReplyDeleteI actually really, really like this idea....
ReplyDeleteI like to rework rituals to best suit my nature. Just gunna do the Ale and bratwurst bits.
ReplyDeleteGoddamn, if there were a farm/suitable woods within fifty miles of here, I'd be so excited for this.
ReplyDeleteOr whiskey and Guinness in my case.
ReplyDeleteRO: What was disturbing about this post was that, at first reading, it actually sounded quite FUN to me. Then, I realized you were wasting fine alcohol:(. Shame on you! LOL
ReplyDelete@Jack: "What, I said it. I said the words."
ReplyDelete@SeA: Yeah, me too, unfortunately. I wrote this for the non-alcoholics. You and me gotta go off on our own and be sober as we raise an army of the dead to take over the world.
@Phoenix: The shots poured on the ground are for the spirits. Libations for the dead are never wasted.
I will meet you at the hunting grounds.
ReplyDeleteI also feel it necessary to point out that Walpurgisnacht is in May.
Actually they do exactly that at [url=http://cauldronfarm.com]Cauldron Farm[/url] every year. They have a ritual field with a campfire, some woods, a shallow swampy area, and CAMPSITES READY TO GO. When I was there we made three rounds with a genuine mead horn - one for the living, one for the dead, and a "boast round" for ourselves. (Oh, heathens.) And of course, tons of alcohol, followed by a jam session because one guy was a music teacher and brought an assortment of percussion instruments for the whole crowd.
ReplyDeleteWhatever you say about pagans, man, they DO know how to party!
@Jason: Crap! I thought November eve was something like Walpurgisnacht and now I can't think of anyy German sounding scary ass names for halloween. sigh. And I can't edit it from work to fix it.
ReplyDeleteBut thanks for pointing out the misprint.
I agree with Pallas. I'm stuck here in the middle of Lutheran Land where, "oh gosh, we would never do anything like don't ya know."
ReplyDeleteI think we should have a Wild Hunt for our first Blogosphere meetup. ASAP. I don't even like camping or cold but I don't think I'll care . . .
ReplyDelete