Friday, February 11, 2011

The Source of Your Power

It's not a Power Trip. It's just Power Observation.

I once said something about having how you can have complete conscious control over everything in your life through the Power of Magic. After a while, I modified that a bit and said there's nothing in existence that is beyond your ability to influence through the Power of Magic.

These days I reside somewhere in between the original statement and the modified stance. I've seen every aspect of my life fall under complete conscious control and manifest exactly as I communicated to the spirits in a concert of conjuration. Every aspect! Relationship, health issues, finances, automobile failure, social interactions, professional intrigues, parenting, learning and teaching, everything I do, everything I am, and every circumstance I go through in any given day has been directly changed according to my stated direction through magical rites.

But at the same time, it happened under stress. When everything culminated at once in a crescendo of stress, I called on everything and everyone I knew from a position of ... authority is too authoritarian of a word for it, it was more like I just accepted that I am the steward of all aspects of my Sphere of Influence, and started communicating my plan to the forces at my disposal. It took the heat of the moment to motivate me, to push me to the level where I was not only able, but also fully conscious enough to actually do the Directing. I had to rise above the circumstances and have them pushed into more comfortable positions. I couldn't do that without the stress of that moment. Life wasn't hard enough for me to require that kind of response up until then.

It's kind of interesting, when I hit that moment, I felt alone. I wasn't alone, I felt and heard and communed with the spirits through Word and Symbol, the familiar presence of my Supernatural Assistant was with me, and I could hear the Still Small Voice of the Father clearly enough. But I also felt completely alone. Not the scared and cut off alone, but that good feeling of being alone you get when you have your first apartment or house you're paying for with your own money earned at your own job, and you're not depending on anyone else directly, even though everything everyone who has ever taught you, cared for you, and supported you is still there with you.

Holy crap, I'm ... growing up?

Yeah, right.

Regardless of my debatable maturation, I'm still hesitant to say everything is completely under our direct conscious control as magicians because I'm not at that point of awareness all the time, and even a couple days after that experience, I don't see any reason to even try to control everything. I want to see how my direction manifests, and enjoy the process.

I also have work to do to make some of it manifest. There's a time to experience conscious control of everything that manifests, and a time to go/be/do as the "observing experiencer." A time for acting Above and a time for acting Below. There are things I'm not in direct conscious control of in my life, and I think that's a good thing. I want to see how it unfolds as a part of the process, not just as the director. If life were a movie, I'd aim to be the director who stars in his own film, and wins the Oscar for Best Actor and Best Director for the result.

Of course, if life were a movie I'd find the damned monkey that keeps stealing the script and nail his feet to the ground.

And you know what? That's how I think we all got here in the first place. God designed it all, and then wanted to experience it as it unfolded, so he manifested Mankind to be able to do that, an eternal spirit with access to the powers of Creation, yet existing within a mortal suit capable of forgetting all about that part of their essence. He created little amnesiac vessels out of himself, and then poured himself into them. He teaches us how to access our divine birth right and our immortal heritage, but he lets us also step into the process as it unfolds to experience it in all its richness of layered flavors, choreographed routines, and blessed ignorance of outcome. Because it's him, and it's all about him.

Just like it's us, and it's all about us, from our perspective.

And that's it, really. The Source of our Power. The Father, the One, the Good, the Source. Eheieh. That moment of power I had, when it crackled through me and into this world was there because I was being what I am meant to be. I accepted my role as the Steward, I took on the responsibility of my world, and I took ownership of what is mine to have, to hold, to shape and to mold. Felt good, too, being what I am. All this magic stuff is remembering, reminding, reclaiming what we forgot. The conjurations establish the relationships and provide access to the ones who teach us the skills required to be ourselves in fullness. We learn Who we are, Why we're here, and How to do what we're here to do.

And we get to experience it all on top of that. Gravy!