They're all things I've thought or felt at various times as a teacher, some more often than others. They're also things I see in my fellow teachers of occultism, and if you're a blogger, you're included in that category in my cosmogram.
- Everybody's a Fucking Idiot but me, so send Me your Money!
- Oh my GOD, this is AWESOME SHIT right here, you gotta fuckin' TRY it, like NOW! Hurry, you're just wasting time!
- Fuck this shit. I quit.
- To date, these are the things I've learned, but there's a lot more to go. I'll put it in words that work best for me, but you'll have to figure out the meaning in your own way, or discover a meaning behind the symbols that is better suited for where you're at in your life's context.
- Oh my god, no one ever listens to me! I've been saying that shit for years, for fuck's sake. Jesus, people, catch the fuck up.
- FUCK! I was wrong... still no refunds.
- If you had only done the research, and the practical Work related to it, you wouldn't be arguing with me. Try it some time, and then you'll see that I'm right, or you'll at least be better qualified to argue with me.
- Holy shit, I'm more enlightened than YOU!? Fuck.
- Some shit works, some shit doesn't. The journey's not that great, and the destination is less pleasant than anticipated. And I'm pretty sure they made it that way on purpose just to keep you moving on.
- No shit, Sherlock.
- Oh my god, really? Really!? I need a drink.
- Hey, this is stuff that helped me achieve a measure of happiness that I am currently enjoying. Hope it works for you as well as it works for me.
- You're doing it wrong.
- I will RULE TEH WORLDS!!! And you can rule yours too!
- You did what? And it did what? Sweet! I gotta try that some time.
- You're doing it right!
- Now what?
- Hmmm. That's interesting. Let me think about it.
- I used to be an adventurer like you.
I think that about covers the moods and approaches I've been through since starting out in this teaching gig, not necessarily in any kind of chronological order. Ego, ambition, disappointment, excitement, the thrill of the hunt.
It's interesting how many of them are more about other people than about where I'm at and where I'm going. Relationships with other people are important, apparently. And I have an inclination to think I'm right that is usually justifiable, but maybe not as accurate as I'd like to think.
And there's an irritability that drives a lot of my Work, a certain Holy Dissatisfaction that keeps me moving onward and upward. That's neat. Should have gotten its own post, probably.
I don't think there's anything particularly wrong with feeling any of these ways at different times, except that first one, and most of us get past that before we really start becoming useful teachers. I cycle through most of the rest regularly.
I don't really know why I'm posting this. Usually when I write the random-thought posts, they sit in the draft bin for years before I get around to deleting them. But I think I'm posting this so you'll think about how teachers are, how they act, and remember that they're people of varied interests and moods, just like you. Learn from people, but take what they're saying with a grain of salt. Sometimes they're brilliant, other times they're assholes, and in the end it's all beautiful.
Until you take an arrow to the knee.