Wednesday, May 19, 2010

What if Your Magic is all an Unintentional Hoax?

Someone on FaceBook asked me the title of this post in regards to the whole Dee and Kelley and Enochian piece. At first I tried to be all nonconfrontational and just sort of sweep it under the rug, I'm ok, you're ok, no big deal, just old fashioned miscommunication ha ha ha ha.

You know what though, two years ago I wrote a post called "What the HELL is going on here?" In it, I talked about this very subject. People think Dee and Kelley and Agrippa and Levi and Trithemius and Crowley and Mathers were all hot shit on a silver platter, and they were in a lot of ways, but in other ways they were cold turds on a paper plate. They weren't any different than modern occult authors. They were subject to the same temptations and miscommunications we are. They were as base and greedy and noble and awesome as us too. They were human.

People don't want to think Moses shook piss out of his dick with the same hands he used to carry down the ten commandments, but he did. Get over it.

But it's a valid question that deserves to be addressed.  What if I am, with all good intentions, accidentally misleading anyone who buys my books? What if I'm duped and somehow subconsciously making all this shit up?

I ask myself that regularly. I think it's a healthy practice to stop and take stock on occasion, check my bullshit detectors, and test the spirits. I'm brutal when it comes to my own experiences. I don't trust me any more than I trust anyone else. If shit's not working, I try not to make excuses for it, I try to fix it. I'm sure I've slipped on occasion, but I go back and fix it as soon as I can.

I don't just do it for posterity, either, I have an insatiable need to be right. It's so important to me to be right that I won't put up with being wrong. If I'm wrong, I want to know it so I can fix it and be right again.

I've learned there are limits to how "right" a person can be. It's a relative thing, and experiences vary. This isn't an exact science we're playing with here, there's going to be some fudge factor involved. I may very well get something wrong and it might take a while before I fix it.

So the only way you can really be sure that I know what I'm talking about is to try out what I'm doing and see if it works for you. If you get radically different results, let me know. If you can't reproduce the kinds of results I'm getting, then I'm not writing it right, or there's something wrong with my approach, understanding, or interpretation. Or you're doing it wrong.