Making the '08 Election Mean Something for Magicians

Holy Wealth

Well, it looks like it's finally happening. Everything is falling into place for me to be stupid stinking wealthy. How long ago was it that I explained to Bune what kind of wealth I wanted? Friday in the post about the statue of Cthulhu? Damn. That's right, I knew I did something like that.

And I was bragging about "learning how to talk to the spirits." Ha!

How freaking typical.

Anyway, if this pans out, one of the things I'll be doing shortly after quitting my job and taking a vacation is publishing how I did it. Scan ye olde archives well, for if I've figured out how to get $MILLION$ through the Goetic Spirits, you can be damned sure I'll write a book about it. And all this public knowledge shall be deleted and only those who were faithful blog readers will have a chance to know it for free. And I'll have a ghost writer turn my blog posts into a book. And I'll have it printed and leather bound and only sell them in lots of 200 every five years. For like $200 each. But it will be worth EVERY PENNY.

That thing I meant to finish...

A year and a half ago, I posted about making this little mini-altar kind of thing for my Genius. The original post is at this link for your reference.

Today, I finished it. I've learned a lot more about my Genius since then, so it turned out a little different than planned. It's basically an elemental hierarchy tool now. It's got my Genius at the top, exalted. The Name is in gold leaf. There's the Four Kings of the Corners of the World under that, followed by the Four Rulers of the Elements, the Four Princes of spirits, upon the four angels [angles] of the world, and it's got the Four Princes of Devils opposed in the elements sealed up in lead in the base. It's also got my Evil Daimon's name sealed up in lead in the base.

The lettering on the top and outside of the thing is done in gold leaf. The demonic names I had to improvise. I started by consecrating a sheet of steel to Mars and Kammael by carving the symbol of Mars and the name of Kammael on one side. Then I conjured Kammael in the hour of Mars on the day of Saturn to seal the spirits named on the reverse side of the seal, preventing them from bringing evil into my life. Then I carved the names of the Four Princes of Devils and the name of my Evil Daimon in the steel.

I melted a 4 ounce lead weight purchased from Walmart, and poured roughly half of it into the base of the thing. Then I placed the steel into the base, and covered that with more lead. The steel tried to float to the top of the lead. The lead literally pulled away from the steel to reveal the names of the demons. It was like they were trying to get out, or at least keep a toe hold in this world. I hit the lead in the wood base with a blow torch, and when it melted, I had to press it down into the lead until it was sealed in nice and tight. I finished by engraving the seal of Saturn into the Lead and conjuring Tzaphqiel to keep them bound in the lead as well.

Alright, Gosh Darn It

So I found this cool site that sells 7-foot tall statues of Cthulhu. Resin casts are a mere $3900. But... the dude can do it in BRONZE. It would weigh 1200 pounds and cost as much as a Prius. My wife wouldn't let me install it anywhere fun, like in the front yard holding the mail box at a non-euclidean angle. But you know, it's pretty awesome to have a BRONZE CTHULHU.

But see, here's the thing: I can't freaking afford it. I can't believe it. I'm sitting here, and I already had one fierce conversation with a certain entity who is SUPPOSED to bring riches to a man about this very subject. THIS... THIS is what I want. I want to have a $30k whim pop up and be able to write out a check and place an order for said whim without it even denting my net worth. Hell, I think it would be an investment anyway, a bronze Cthulhu can only go up in value, imho.

But there it is. I'm not where I want to be. I don't have millions of bajillions of dollars in accounts spread across the world. That was the original intent of the charge to the Spirit I made, and it failed. I didn't get the seven something million. I'm pissed about it. I had plans for it.

Now, there have been awesome things I've gotten from the spirit. I'm very happy with the relationship. I've learned how to ask for things. Perhaps most importantly though, I've learned that there are simply limits to what certain spirits can do.

Bune can't win the lotto for me. I've tried on more occasions than I care to admit. I think it's too immediate, like I'll conjure him the day of the lotto, not giving him any time to do anything to set things up in my favor, or conjure him at the scratch-ticket dispensing machine. I mean, it's too late. You never conjure your spirits when you're sitting at the table, there's no time left for conjuring, when the dealing's done. I keep trying though.

Last night I conjured him for Guitar Hero. I've done it a couple of times. One of his traits is that he makes a man eloquent. I asked him to make my fingers "speak" the songs eloquently. It brought me great pleasure to finally get five stars on all the songs in the game. I think it's worth it.

So there are times when I can get instant results, and times when I can't. And there are ways the spirit can manifest riches, and there are ways it can't. Getting to know the spirits is valuable, and it makes you a more powerful magician. You won't be calling a spirit for $7MUSD and end up with an awesome job and everything you wanted the money for, you'll end up getting the cash. At least, I hope so.

Anyway, I've got another blog going for Goetic stuff, and I'll post something about the powers of the different ranks of the spirits of the Lemegeton's Goetia that I've worked with. Bune's a Duke. I'm hoping the Kings are better at massive quantities of Gold. Pure, heavy, incredibly valuable blocks of solid Gold.

This Just In...

A friend and magician is visiting pagans in jail and providing spiritual support for them. He's one of 3 chaplains in all of (where else but) California that perform any kind of prison ministry for heathen pagans damned to burn in hell for all eternity. Can't imagine why.

But! I respect him for that. And he's in need of fundage to cover the expenses of his efforts. He made these cool "Wonder Wands," or "Tumblers" (he really needs to work on the name) to perform geomancy with. He's selling them to raise money. He's a smart feller.

So if you're a pagan and you want to support turning criminal pagans into reformed, spiritually seeking pagans with a good balanced perspective on magic and social obligations... It's a good cause. Check out his site. I'm going to see if he wants me to set up a page over on RufusOpus.com where he can sell stuff to fund his ministry, if he doesn't already have site set up.

For more info, see his blog:

http://witchdoctorjoe.blogspot.com/2008/08/sortior-virgae.html

Bored Magi

I have come to believe that there is nothing more dangerous than a bored magician.

Some people get bored and torture their victims, like a cat toying with a mouse that was unlucky enough to catch its mercurial attention. Some people sit back and mock others. Some people take their boredom and invest it in whatever madness they've been keeping on the back burner for just such an occasion.

On the whole, I'd say those who toy with others are probably the safest of the bunch. I'm in the camp of "let's make things interesting," and that usually means conjuring something I haven't before, or making some magical craft in the Lab. The gold-painted Sculpey Seal of Bune was probably the least dangerous, and most amusing.


The Crystal Skull was less amusing, but more interesting. The Spirit Pot has been the most profitable and has provided the most long-term fun.

I also use this forum to discuss things that are on my mind, like Bored Magi. 

I'm not saying I don't toy with people on message boards when I'm bored, or that I don't mock people. I'm probably the worst offender when it comes to that.

That's dangerous though. I've been reading Patrick Dunn's latest book, and I'm only on the intro where he talks about the possible etymology of the word "ABRACADABRA." One possible original meaning is "I create as I speak." This is the epitome of what I practice as a magician. Made in the image of God who created through Logos, the Word, and created to continue this Work in the world around me.

When we speak, as magicians, we are changing the world. Everyone does it, but I think magicians have a little more power behind their words as a result of their closer-ness to the Source of our being. Watching what we say is important. I called someone an "unmedicated bipolar" person on a list today. I don't know if that's what they are or not, but I wouldn't be surprised to find out later that I was right. Did I seal it into being by saying it, or was I just commenting on what was apparent already? Does it matter?

I don't know. On the one hand there's the real possibility of megalomania. On the other, there's the real possibility that everything we speak into being does come into being. Maybe not EVERYTHING, but ... still. Better safe than sorry, I suppose.

So my advice to anyone else and especially myself is to think before you speak, and speak proactively. Have a list of good things to say, not like affirmations, but as alternate text to put forward when confronted with a situation that you could make worse.

I'll get started on mine.

Witchdoctor Joe and St. Faust

I had the fortune of meeting Witchdoctor Joe on a Fresno Magical list run by Frater Bone Head, also known as Fr. POS, who authors the "Doing Magic" blog. Joe's a former Native American pipe carrier, a Wiccan-ish guy, and he's got an interest in the occult in general. He's been blogging about the tarot lately, and I love his style. Some people write information using words, and others tell stories. Joe is definitely a story teller.

For those interested, his blog is here:

http://witchdoctorjoe.blogspot.com/

St. Faust is a peculiar breed of magician, the likes of which I've never run into before. His primary focus was chaos magic for a while, but it seems not to have driven him completely mad. He's the one who tipped me off to the Coyote aspects of Tezcatlipoca. I find his perspective on things to be very interesting.

For those interested, his blog is here:

http://vonfaustus.blogspot.com/

Everyone's Tired of Bune...

I mentioned that I was engraving a quartz crystal with Bune's sigil to a friend, and he was like, "Bune, again!?" He suggested that I might need to be careful about obsessing over one particular spirit, and mentioned that the Goetic spirits have a reputation for getting magicians obsessed.

I mentioned to my spouse what I was doing, and she said something like, "Bune Bune Bune, all you work with is Bune."

I guess that's the image I have because I write so much about him. I've been in a relationship with this spirit for almost two years, and I'm very happy with his work in my life. He's the only spirit of the Goetia that I have a long-term relationship with, via the Spirit Pot. So I talk to him a lot, and I talk to you about him a lot.

However, he is not the only spirit I work with. I'm working on Belial's seal, as well as the other 8 Kings of the Goetia. I've worked 18 of the 72 Spirits altogether from that particular grimoire, but mostly it's been one-time rites, or simple conversations. I'm also working with the Archangels of the seven heavens on my spiritual alchemy. They get a lot more face time with me than Bune or any other Goetic spirits. I have a personal relationship with God. We hang out and have fun together.

Then there's my HGA, with whom I've been exploring the Seven Heavens, and working with to understand his role in a magician's life better. He's not only a Guru to bring you to the edge of the alleged Abyss between the Supernal Triad of the Tree of Life. He's also a familiar spirit that has authority over the Sub-Lunar spirits. He can directly bring riches, love, peace, joy, happiness, prosperity, and everything else material you need to perform the Great Work in comfort and style. He can help you perform what Psychics call "Remote Viewing," and he can help heal people who are ill. Dude's pretty cool.

So as you can see, I do a lot more Work with other spirits than Bune. I talk about Bune the most because he's usually the one I turn to for money, and the fact is, money is always needed for something when you're raising three kids. Even when my income covers bills, mortgage, and consumables, there's college funds, trust funds, and our own retirement funds that need cash to grow. And the Lab needs equipment.

Which brings me to the crystal I engraved with Bune's seal. After the Crystal Skull experience, I decided to stick with just a Bune Legionairre in the stone, totally focused on bringing the owner of the stone riches. It's not finished yet. So far, I've got the crystal roughly shaped the way I want it, and the sigil in the stone.

There are two Seals for Bune in the Lemegeton's Goetia. It says in the grimoire that the first (top over on the left) is not as effective as the second (bottom over on the left), but I believe this is only a reference to its effectiveness in contacting the spirit the first time. After that, the first Seal is as effective for marking things as "Belonging to Bune" as the second. The first seal is also much easier to carve into things, like wood, metal, or stone. The second is easier to draw than to engrave or carve. Since the crystal is so brittle, I picked the first seal to engrave in the stone. It's got more straight lines, and less detail to try to capture.

Like I said, it's not finished yet. I need to sand it again to get a better polish on it. I need to flatten the base a bit. I tried to make an ink to darken the engraved seal so it stood out more when you look at the stone. I made the ink by grinding up some venus herbs, then roasting the ground herbs on a metal sheet over a candle flame. As it blackened, I stirred it, reground it, and roasted it again until all the herb mass was charred. Then I mixed it with olive oil, and tried to put it into the engraved seal, and it sort of worked. It's not really an ink though. More of an oily mass of ground charred herbs. Imagine that.

The stone's got a spirit in it though, a spirit working for me. Last week, I got $750 in incorrect bank fees returned to me, stretching back to May of the previous year. Job offers abound. If enough people want inexpensive plaster seals of the Goetic Spirits, I might be able to pay for an unplanned vacation. Life, as they say, is good.

Belial's Gold Leaf Seal

I'm working on a new method for making the golden seals for the Kings of the Goetia. New for me, anyway. I don't know, maybe other magicians have been doing this for years. As far as I know, it's all my creation though, so I'm taking credit for it.

I carved Belial's seal into an ordinary two-inch wooden disk, the kind you get from a craft store. I used the smallest little round carving ball dremel attachment I could find in my box. It may even have been intended for this.

Oh, diamond grinding bits are great for quartz, not wood.

So after carving the seal, I mushed it into Sculpey, some plasticene clay you can buy. You bake it at 275 (F) for fifteen minutes, and it turns to this weird harder-plastic that doesn't bend or mush anymore. I pulled the wooden disk out, and had a nice little mold.

I baked the mold for about an hour. I should have put it on a baking pan, but being the lazy magi that I am, I threw it on a piece of parchment paper (the baking kind) laying on the oven rack. Then I took it out and let it cool. Then I mixed up some plaster, and poured it in the mold, and let it set for a while.

Sculpey has to be sealed with something water proof to make it water proof. Like paint or something. I didn't do this, so all the water in the plaster just seeped out through the bottom of the Sculpey mold. I think it helped. I was able to pop out the plaster seal in an hour or so. One thing I noticed was that while baking, the Sculpey was still slightly malleable. Because this is the largest piece of Sculpey I've ever baked, it sort of drooped while it was baking, slightly misshaping the mold. So there's a slight warp to the seal.

I let it sit over night, and then I cleaned it up with a sanding bit for the dremel, drilled a hole in the top, and proceeded to attempt to leaf the damn thing in gold.

With varying degrees of success. I bought this foil leafing kit that has a bottle of glue (they call it "size" but I swear it's glue), a roll of foil, and some other stuff that doesn't come into play right now. You put down the glue, wait for it to dry "clear" and then put the foil over it. You peel back the foil, and this plastic tape stuff comes away, and the foil is supposed to stick to the glue. Plaster, as you may know is white. It's not easy to tell when a white glue has dried "clear" on white plaster. As you can see, it sort of almost worked.

Also, the gold leaf is supposed to get into all the carved out cracks, right? But the foil stuck to the flat bits. So I used the handy 18 kt gold leafing pen. It turned out alright. Not great, but alright. I like the shininess of the leaf foil over the paint pen, but the paint pen has some real gold in it, while the leaf foil doesn't.

I really need to get a doggone working digital camera. I've been using my cell phone camera for this stuff, and it just doesn't provide the clarity I want. It's on my list of things to buy, as soon as the kids have all their back to school stuff, and things have quieted down on the home front.

So, I will be trying again. There are some inherent caveats in this. It's not all gold, for one thing, and that makes me less than happy. It's plaster. It weighs hardly anything, and I'm afraid it's going to break if I drop it, or chip, or something. It's convenient for a one or two-time use, I suspect, but for a long-term relationship with this spirit, I'd probably suggest something a little more durable. Even gold-leafing the wooden disk would probably make for a sturdier talisman...

Duh! I should have done that instead. Huh.

Oh well. If I wanted to mass produce these things, I have the means, at least. Anyone want to buy some gold-painted plaster seals for the Kings of the Goetia?

Spirit Conjuring Overview

Due to recent experiences at the Spirit Summoning yahoo group, I've decided to write a quick, down and dirty introduction to spirit conjuration. You won't be a pro after reading this, but you will know enough to start asking the right questions, and maybe conjure a spirit or two. No promises on it not eating you though. Especially if you're not a Christian.

That was a joke.

To conjure a spirit, you have to know a couple of things. Who are you to conjure a spirit anyway? Why should they answer you when you call them? What are you going to tell them to do? How can you be sure of success?

If you know those things, you're ready. If not, read Agrippa's Third Book of Occult Philosophy. Skim the bits that don't make sense yet. Go back and re-read those parts some other time. Get familiar with the basics of magical conjuration.

To conjure a spirit, you need its seal and/or its name. You'll need some method of communicating with it. You'll need to know what its native pantheon is, and who it answers to in that pantheon. Here's a hint: If you're not in the pantheon somewhere, don't work with that spirit. In traditional grimoires written from a Christian perspective, we get to conjure spirits because we are the "angels" of the Earth, and we have a place in the hierarchy. In Pagan stuff, if you weren't an initiate into the Mysteries, your place in the pantheon was "target."

Once you've got the spirit's name and/or seal, draw it out on paper and wear it on your chest. You can engrave it in the appropriate metal, or color it according to the spirits' favorite color scheme, or whatever details you want to add to make it more effective, but at least start with the Name/Seal on paper on your chest.

Now you'll need to know its superior in the hierarchy. If you don't have this, have a damned good reason to call the spirit anyway. Like, "Tezcatlipoca, I conjure you as God of Sorcerors to aid me in my sorcerous warfare against Magician X! You, oh God of Sorcerors, alone have the power to destroy him" and so forth. Convince them that they need to be here, or that they'll get something out of the deal.

If you've got the name of their superior, use it to conjure them. "In the name of God IHVH Tzabaoth I conjure you, Archangel of Venus ANAEL to appear before me in this crystal..." and so on.

Then you talk to the spirit. Tell it what you want. Check to see if it's who you expected (make it say "Jesus is Lord" if you're a Christian). See if it can do what you want it to do, or if there's another spirit that's better suited. Get a personal seal and/or name.

When you're done, tell it goodbye. "Thanks ANAEL forstopping in, I had a great time, come back when I call you by the name you gave me and the seal, and if I even imagine the seal and say your name, be with me immediately. In the name of IHVH Tzabaoth, go in peace."

Do something physical to ground yourself out. Hold a hunk of Iron Pyrite, Hematite, or go outside and stand barefoot in some dirt. Take a bath. Imagine you're a piece of rock, molten in the earth's core, oozing up through a crack in the ocean and then hardening as the sea water sizzles against your skin. Whatever works for you.

That's a spirit conjuring overview. Most of the rest is details, and you'll pick them up in researching each grimoire's internal structure. After a while, you won't use the grimoires because you'll already have made contact with the spirits, and they'll be guiding you directly. It's neat.

General Updates

If you've subscribed to my feed, you'll note that only the first bit is coming through now instead of the whole blog post. You have to click the link to see the full post. I know it's a pain in the butt, but people were posting the entire blog on different web sites with their own Google adsense stuff all over it, so they were profiting off my work. Sorry, I don't play that game.

After seeing the cool new skin over on the Conspiracy of Pleasure, I couldn't take my blog's color scheme anymore, so it's been updated.

There's no more adult content warning. I'll try not to cuss as much. I changed it because Google's adsense content crawler was checking the warning page to see what kind of ads to display, which is why for months you've seen ads for blogs instead of magic-related things. Lord willing, that's going to change now, whenever the Google bots get around to this site again. Now that I've said Google a hundred times in this post the ads will all be about Google. :Sigh:

Enought technical skullduggery. Back to the Great Work!

And he will not let any word fall to the ground...

In keeping with the theme from yesterday, I'd like to talk about one of the things I muse about. Why my magic is more successful than other people's.

I know, it sounds damned conceited. It's not my fault. Everything I've tried to do with magic has had some kind of result. I read on message boards that people have done magic and had "no result," and either I'm special, or they're doing something differently. ("Differently" is a nice way for me to say they're doing it wrong, but I'm really trying to be nice because I pissed people off with the Fuck George Carlin post. Those sensitive little [expletives deleted] mean a lot to me.)

Please note, I'm NOT referencing Jason's blog or experiences any more in this post. He just got this thought train aimed in the direction it's going in. I'm not saying my magic is better than Jason's, and I want to make sure that's not how this comes across. He's got a lot more experience and successes under his belt than I do, and I've got nothing but respect for him.

Yesterday I touched on one aspect of why I don't consider a ritual complete until I've succeeded, and how that makes for fewer "failures," per se, but today I'd like to point out something else that can make some folks uncomfortable. But don't freak out.

One of the things that makes my magic so effective, in my own most humble opinion, is that I am a Christian magician. Most of the Magic I do is based on some form of the Christian Neoplatonic systems that Agrippa recorded in his Three Books of Occult Philosophy. That makes it pretty easy. I also have several assurances from God, the ultimate creator of the physical and spiritual spheres, that I don't have to worry about making my magic work; he does it for me.

And the thing is, he does it for everyone, every human being made in his image, if that person wants him to. Just get to now God a bit, spend time in his presence. Feel him, know that you are his child, an emanation from him in his own image, created to spend eternity with. Remember your race and your value to God. It's worth the time spent.

And don't worry about Christianity or Judaism, or Zen states, just pour your heart out into meeting your Source, your Creator, the Prime Mover, the All-Seeing eye, whatever. Get to know him, and let him guide you. He'll guide you to your HGA, he'll guide you to the things you have to do before you die. He's totally cool to hang out with. He never eats all the Cheetos.

And he won't let any word fall to the ground without it bearing much fruit. He tells the seeds to bloom, sort of, indirectly, and he makes sure that your words will bear much fruit too.

Oh yeah, He expects you to think before you say stupid shit.

Sometimes the Magic Works...

Jason Miller's got a neat post about his recent experiences with St. Expedite. One of the things that caught my interest is that in his blog post, Jason mentions that he suspected the work was failing when it began to seem like he had been hit with a prosperity spell. He says:

I had all the signs of a prosperity spell being cast on myself, which could mean one of two things:

1. Just from working with that kind of mojo, I picked up some good juju.

or, more likely...

2. The Saint could not accomplish his task so all the energy was just zinging around like a stream of water hitting a wall.

I haven't had anything like that happen, and I'm jealous. I want a ritual to not work and result in me getting prosperity too! Is that so wrong?

I don't know of any rituals I've done that haven't worked. Lots haven't worked the way I expected at all, but I've always had some kind of result. Sometimes they try, but the spirits just aren't of the proper type to address the problem you sent it to deal with. Some Venus spirits are great at delivering riches. Others are not. Haniel won't necessarily make you rich, but if you try and it fails, you can ask him which Venus spirits would be better for this kind of thing.

Maybe my problem is that I don't think of that as a failed ritual. I consider it an incomplete ritual. Every rite I've done has lead me to new rites, and a single ritual rapidly becomes an ongoing project, like the Bune spirit pot thing.

Goetic Magic

Everyone should read the Goetic Magic blog.

http://goeticmagic.blogspot.com/

Brother Boyle from the Conspiracy of Pleasure blog has been posting a few interesting tales, and I've received an email from Yuzuru detailing his conjuration experiences with the four archangels of the LBRP. I'm cleaning it up a bit, but it should be posted soon. I'm including it because it's technically a sub-lunar rite, sort of, depending on how you look at it.

I'll be updating it more frequently too, lord willing. I invited most of the people I know to co-author the blog, but most folks have worked primarily with celestial spirits. I'm surprised, personally, because I thought I was pretty average, and I've been doing this goetic stuff for a couple of years now. Most folks into Magic that I tend to befriend are into the Great Work, and don't seem as interested in goetic stuff as I am.

However... I expect the posting to pick up as soon as people start reading it. Something about being read makes folks want to participate.

Not to be mixing belief systems

Ok, so I know, a lot of my friends thought I was nuts for playing with Tezcatlipoca. (The skull is in transit to his new owner, may he find all he seeks.) I got a lot of emails and IMs that questioned my sanity. Not directly, but more like... "I dont know what you're intent is, but good luck..."

I got sucked into Tezcatlipoca's imagery and mythology while researching the Crystal Skull phenomenon in general. What I found was that the crystal skulls are deeply entrenched in the whole Mexican prehistoric religions, and to make the talisman more potent, Tez seemed an obvious choice.

My thanks to St. Faust for pointing out the Coyote relationship to Tez. My earliest researching hadn't indicated that particular sode of the god, focusing instead on his roles in the creation myths and his role as the patron deity of Sorcerors. Knowing he was invoked to see visions in the Aztec Mirrors was enough for me to work with him.

However...

I'm a Christian. There's a harmonic resonance to my Spheres from all the Work I've done with the Logos, Christ, and the archangels. Tezcatlipoca is not now, nor ever has been an angel. "Like" an angel, maybe, in the same way that Hermes or Mercury was "like" an angel, but he's definitely his own manifestation of God, and is not particularly fond of being worked with from a different system's rules. Or at least, he didn't like me and the way I worked with him much. Or maybe I just didn't like him. Who knows?

I'm writing this up as a successful experiment, but going forward, I'm sticking with the Christian Neo-Platonic systems' spirits that have worked so well with me in the past.

And it's gone.

That went fast. The skull is on its way to its new owner, and is no longer available.

May the new owner enjoy their experiences.

Done with the skull, now get it out of here...

Well, me hearties....

I'm done with the crystal skull of the DEAD!!! bwahahahaha...

I'm satisfied with the results, and I'm confident that the skull image and the spirit conjuration during the rite has successfully created a pretty powerful talisman that will cause strange dreams and visions for the owner.

And now I'm ready for it to be out of the house.

A friend from one of the lists sent me a pdf that talked about the "Black Dog" apparitions and mentioned Tezcatlipoca. If you get into the earliest recorded descriptions of the beliefs of the Aztecs in Mexico (as recorded by priests looking to have a record of native beliefs in case they made a resurgence that needed stamping out), you can see that Tezcatlipoca was among other things a manifestation of the "trickster" deities. He's a lot like Coyote or Loki. Buy the stone and I'll forward you the pdf.

Anyway, anyone interested in buying the crystal skull should be into two things: necromancy in some form, and trickster deities in general.

By necromancy, I mean anything having to do with communicating with dead spirits. It would make an excellent addition to a medium's collection. If you're a working Sorceror, like Moloch, this is the kind of thing I'd expect to find in your collection somewhere. Not only does it work to commune with specific dead people (I met with Agrippa), it also aids in seeing the shades of the dead that populate our life invisibly. It can get a little... creepy.

If you're one of the growing community of spiritual healers, like Nita Hickok at Astral Healer, this kind of tool would be very useful in dealing with spirits troubling your clients. It would aid in Exorcisms (via the Bune-spirit) or in dealing with Curses, Hexes, or other Crossed Conditions (via Tezcatlipoca).

By being into the trickster deities, I mean that you should have an affinity for working with that particular kind of entity. Tezcatlipoca brings warnings, sends visions, and aids sorcerors in eliminating other sorcerors' curses.

He also is a bit of a prankster. Things have gone missing since I activated this particular spirit's influence in the skull, electronics have gone somewhat haywire, and I've had a lot of peculiar dreams. I've "lost" my favorite pocket knife, and I'm hoping getting rid of this thing will result in its return.

Also... Well, I'd be remiss in not mentioning it, but Tezcatlipoca doesn't mesh well with a neo-platonic Christian environment. I wouldn't call the skull "cursed" because nothing terrible has happened, but it is definitely not a particularly friendly entity towards the whole Judeo-Christian belief system.

So I'm selling it.

It's $45, and is currently available on my Products and Services Page. That includes shipping to the US.

First come first served.

Fuck George Carlin

If I see one more email thread mentioning how wonderful George Carlin was, I'm gonna be sick. He was a self-righteous, lazy pompous arrogant windbag, and guess what? He personally hated you and everyone else that sends out all these "the world is a worse place without you, George" emails, as if he isn't like, "Fuck you, I got out and you're stuck in, and I made it without offing myself, by the skin of my teeth some nights when it was me and Jack Daniels in a seedy motel near the local gig that barely covered the motel and the gas, but I made it, and if I didn't mention it, fuck you."

I want to grab everyone who loves George Carlin and take a fucking minute to remind you:

EVERYTHING HE POINTED OUT THAT WAS WRONG WITH THE WORLD, HE BLAMED YOU PERSONALLY FOR BECAUSE HE SAID YOU WERE A STUPID FUCKTARD WHO DOESN'T DO SHIT TO MAKE THINGS BETTER.

And I agree. Why not? It's a lot easier to sit around and declare the world a shitty place and blame everyone that's just trying to get by until they die than it is to actually DO SOMETHING to make it a better place.

George Carlin made a business out of saying things that every twenty-something has said at Perkins, Denny's, or whatever 24 hour cafe that serves cheap coffee have said for years. He wasn't original, or even particularly unique. He was a bitter asshole. And he's dead. That's the epitaph he deserves.

Get over it.