Tuesday, January 01, 2013

Awe vs. Aww

Sometimes I look at myself, and I am filled with a sense of awe. It's a humbling thing, because in spite of how far I have to go before I get to my goals in this lifetime, I manage an incredible life. I talk to gods and angels. I channel forces that shape the world. I catch glimpses of the Holy Father, Pangenitor, thrustful Force and Source of us all, and its beautiful, and I am filled with awe.

Awe, that holy fear, that holy amazement, that holy holiness that overcomes you and leaves you just wanting to praise, to worship, to express a guttural and raw and powerful GRATIAS AGO! to the universe at large and the entity it represents.

Other times I look at myself and I'm filled with a sense of aww, as in, aww, shit. Aww, what the fuck. Aww, hell. Aww, really!?

Humans ... The passion and the pathos. Amazing, amazing, amazing ... and so pathetic at the same time.

Picture me pacing as I talk. 

Look, you and I both get that the world is shit and that people suck. You and me both, we suck some times, we fuck up sometimes, and we have to deal with that shit. Regularly. I don't think you need any reminders of that anymore. I think you know the shit about you that sucks.

But what about the part of you that is made of pure and raw and unadulterated highly potent toxic-to-the-uninitiated win? Do you know that part? You know you're a god made flesh, right? You've read it a hundred different ways. Light in extension, emmanationism, the Divine Spark, the Neschemah, Namaste, Thou Art God, That of God in Every Man, it's everywhere, Deus-homo, created by the First Father in His Own Image,  you are made of godstuff, it's your race, your source, your infinitely-great-grandad was god, and you're his kid.

I'm telling you you're a living god because you are, and you need to know it, to believe it in order to live it and benefit from it.

I'll pick different words because it seems to raise eyebrows among the wise, and hackles among the, uh, ... hackled. 

You are a human being with the potential to create the universe that you experience. You can be the Monarch of your Kingdom. You have the authority to (at the very least) influence or (at the very most) directly control everything that manifests in your life. 

I do it with Hermetics. Hermetics taught me that I'm awesome, even though I have aww shit moments. It provided me with the relationships with the entities that have taught me to rule my kingdom in a way that benefits me and all those within it. It taught me that with practice, I can get pretty good at this whole "Existence is pure joy" thing. It continues to teach me to focus more on the Awesome parts of life and less on the aww-some parts of life.

So here's the thing today: It's the new year. 2013. People are vehemently making resolutions, and other people are vehemently not making resolutions.

Personally, I resolve to be more awesome, epic, legendary, because I like that. It's fun. I enJOY it. The only thing I hope you resolve is to be more of the very best you can be for fun's sake. Give yourself a chance to be AWESOME. And quit worrying so much about the aww-some parts. You'll be pleasantly surprised.