Monday, June 22, 2009

Why I'd make a lousy cult leader

A friend asked me today why I don't just try to form a cult to get rich and never have to work again.

I've belonged to various cults, Christian and Hippy alike, and they're pretty lame, for one thing. For another, being a cult leader takes a lot of work. Their lives suck. Lawsuits from families, your followers get abducted and deprogrammed, and the day to day administration of a cult is a wearying task. The trouble with people giving their lives over to you is that you have to make all their decisions for them, and they always find some problem in their daily drama that isn't covered by the freakin' commandments you lay down as guidelines. Eventually you set up a buffer zone of followers who are "in" the inner circle, and you've got a couple of years of decent relaxation while they handle shit for you, but then one of them takes the cult over.

Fuck that.

Besides, what kind of magical cult could I really found?  The Magic I'm into teaches people to think for themselves. Or at least to think like me, and I'm done with cults. Once people made it past the Grammar stage, they'd be like... I'm keeping my shit for me. Fuck off.

So yeah, I'd totally make a lousy cult leader.
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