Thursday, September 02, 2010

Hermetic Magicians: Warning!

We're in the thick of it! Mercury is fully retrograde. Chances are pretty good that if you're practicing some form of Hermetic-related magic, you are, right now, an asshole.

Uhm, more so than usual.

In fact I'm sure some people will realize that I'm being an asshole right now, just by mentioning it! It's true, right now I am an asshole. I realized this when I wrote:
Unhappiness vibes are spreading through the world and trying to steal the sunshine. It's worse than the Nothing, it's the Nothing is Good. Happiness is in peril!
I propose that everyone on the planet needs to go through a happiness intensive, two weeks where they unwind and are forced to be happy, whatever it takes. And then, after two weeks of being happy, if they're still bitter negative pessimistic bitches, they should be put out of their misery.
Happiness or death!
And I meant it, too.

So yeah, a happy asshole is a dangerous asshole, apparently.

Take precautions. Mitigate the situation, ask yourself, am I being a dick right now?

The answer is probably yes.

Next, don't be a dick.

Nope.

Don't do it.

I know.

Trust me, I know. It's hard. Just don't be a dick. Take a walk. Breathe. Meditate. No snarking. Don't send the post. Take the high road. Wait it out. Don't offer any advice, it's asshole advice.

10 comments:

  1. I liked your procedure: it was quintessential magic. "Next, don't be a dick."

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  2. You bring up some things I've been wondering for a while: Do retrogrades and other planetary phenomena affect magicians more than lay-folk? Hermetic magicians more than other magicians? At what point in one's climb through the spheres do these effects become more significant? At what point do they lessen again?

    Clearly the whole world hasn't suddenly turned into a raging bag of dicks (well... any more than usual, at least), so I don't feel that as magicians we're simply noticing an effect that most people pass over. I could always be wrong about that, of course.

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  3. I have been strangely uninspired lately...to do anything. Moody, angry, apathetic and generally unpleasant. I was just telling a friend how miserable I've been.

    Well, its good to know it isn't just me.

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  4. This retrograde has been particularly ill for me. And I'm definitely in the "ass hole" category right now, so I've been trying my BEST to keep silent.

    Because when I don't, I'm either getting into a vicious argument with somebody, or lying straight through my teeth so as NOT to get into a vicious argument.

    It has been hellish.

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  5. Why do you have to go and get a soul all of the sudden?! It's so... So... [Word deleted.]

    Anyway: this is perfect for right now. Yeah.

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  6. "Don't offer any advice. It's asshole advice." <---- words for the ages. For some, this should just become general policy regardless of planetary position.

    RO readers excepted, of course.

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  7. Methinks you're overstating the effects of Mercury being retrograde. Communication can be a bit more difficult, but it's definitely not the degree of catastrophe you make it out to be. It can also make business a bitch as things seem to just slow to a crawl.

    Or maybe I'm being a massive dick right now and don't realize it lol

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  8. I accidentally deleted this comment:

    S.L. Æris has left a new comment on your post "Hermetic Magicians: Warning!":

    But what if I was an asshole before Mercury went into retrograde?

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  9. @QL: I don't mean that all of everything sucks and it's teh end of teh world o noes!!!

    I just wanted to warn Hermetic Magicians that they're more likely to be an asshat than usual. It's a minor affliction, and one readily mitigated by simply being aware that the tendency is to be a prick.

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  10. I don't know, man -- sometimes you'll say, "Wow, this retrograde seems to have particularly sharp teeth". Well, that's been my damn story.

    For me, there's been nothing subtle about it since a few days into this retrograde.

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Thanks for your comments, your opinions are valued, even if I disagree with them. Please feel free to criticize my ideas and arguments, question my observations, and push back if you disagree.