[I wrote this post all out, and after re-reading it, I realized that this is how I feel at the moment, but tomorrow I could easily be all on fire for some new aspect of magic that I haven't thought of before, and everything I wrote below won't be how I see Living Magic until after the latest thing has been integrated. So I added the "... Today" to the post. Enjoy!]
As a new magician, I wanted power, pretty much. I got it. I wanted to see the spirits. I see them. I wanted to grow closer to God and find a meaning for my life. Got those things too.
The process and individual experiences are awesome. The things I experience as a magician are unlike anything I've ever experienced before. The power of an angel in your dining room is something that doesn't compare to anything else. The awe you feel when a Demon's around is something different, but equally intense. The ecstasy of being in God's presence, when he's palpably there with you, weighing down the air with the Glory and bringing you to understandings of Love and Matter that you've never even considered before is indescribable.
But you get used to it pretty quickly. I was looking at my Goetic seals the other day, considering posting them for sale. I've got 17 that I was willing to sell at $35 each. Assuming people would buy them, that's like $595. Nothing to sneeze at. I don't use them much anymore. When I need to talk to one of them, or coordinate a strategic initiative, I can call them by name and they're present and ready to Work. I don't have to break out the whole kit and kaboodle every time I want to have a chat. So I figured the Seals were disposable at this point.*
In my daily life, I get hunches that I recognize as coming from my spirit advisors. The time I spend working in the spheres of the planets integrating their powers into my own sphere results in knowing things that I wouldn't have known otherwise, having an insight into situations that I didn't have previously. I haven't considered blasting people with the powers of Mercury, the Moon, or the Sun in meetings, and maybe I will start doing that as it occurs to me to do so, but overall the changes to my life from my Work have been subtle.
I don't "see" my daimonic advisors as much as I used to. It's not that they aren't there; it's more that I don't "look" for them. I've never really understood the value of astral vision in my own life. I see how it has helped Fr. BH (from Doing Magic) in his life, and it seems like a useful thing for him. I'm not interested in what my office looks like in the astral realm. If something is "wrong" at work, I usually reflexively fix it.
I am a psychic now, after doing all this Work for years. I was talking to a friend the other night in California, and he suggested we try an experiment where he would project a planetary symbol on his monitor and I would see if I could read it. I was in the middle of a Saturn ritual at the time, chatting in IMs in between engraving a lead talisman with the seals of Cassiel from the Heptameron, and I didn't want to mess around with other spheres at the time. I explained I was "in Saturn" at the moment, and he said that was the symbol he was planning on projecting anyway. Coincidence, maybe, or I was broadcasting what I was working on, and he picked it up.
I can perform remote viewing when it occurs to me. Right now, my wife is taking a nap. My supervisor is consternated because the meeting he's in isn't going in any useful direction. My boss (different fellow) is looking intently at his screen reading an email about someone who has the potential to make him very happy in his expectations at work. Osama bin Laden is under ground, and I get the strong feeling he's dead, and has been for a while. Could be wrong about that, it might just be that his influence has waned and he doesn't have the control he did before, but for all intents and purposes, he's pretty much done for. The Russian president is alone in a room with red and gold all around him, talking on the phone. The real leader of Russia is in a bunker, hiding from someone who wants him dead, and in significant pain. Kim Jong Il is asleep. Sarah Palin is looking at water. Obama has somewhere else he needs to be, and is stuck in a meeting with people who aren't doing what he wants. My son is asleep on the couch, or almost asleep.
You are in a deep hypnotic state as you read this. Click the Buy Now button below and send me a dollar. Then forget you did.
Snap out of it!
The point is that life with magic has become normal, even though I've done extraordinary things. It's not boring, it's fun. But it's not all fireballs and curses and demon conjuring and travelling to hell. It's just life. Magic gets integrated into your life in ways that are unexpected, and like everything else, humans adapt to it. You do it because that's what you do. Magicians can't help it.
So if you're new to magic, and find that the more you do the more it seems less spectacular, understand that you're doing something incredible anyway. It's normal for us to create the universe as we see fit. It's normal to develop extrasensory perceptions. It's normal to develop relationships with invisible co-workers. It's what we were born to do.
*Four of my fellow magicians and sorcerors cautioned me against selling them, so don't look to buy them any time soon. They explained about "links" to the object, and how they represent a personal relationship between me and the spirit. Selling it would not only be disrespectful, it would also provide others a link to me, they said. Half of them have a great deal more experience with this stuff than I do, and I respect all of them equally anyway, so I decided against selling them. Your loss. Unless you offer me a LOT of money. Cash is king, common sense be damned.