Satire

I live and breathe it. So do you. Try to keep that in mind.

Piracy... Again

Right on Scarlet Imprint!

Regular readers here know my stance on piracy of published materials. Fuck you, pirates. I will personally hang you as a warning to other would be pirates. You're not captain jack sparrow, you're a pasty-fleshed dweeb with enough money for a computer and a scanner, and as the Scarlet Imprint post says, you can fucking afford to pay for the books. You're just a dick. And not the cool Black Brother kind of dick, you're the steals-from-the-poor dick.

Thanks to Jack for pointing me to that post. Neat to see other magicians pointing out how stupid it is to steal from a magician. And yes, Jack, I would love to read an article exploring the "intrinsic links" between capitalism and piracy.

"How" is not "Why"

Apparently top physicists haven't figured out the difference between "how" and "why." In a review of The Grand Design by Stephen Hawking and Leonard Mlodinow, this article says they answer "why we are here." Then it goes on to explain that Hawking and Mlodinow provide an easy-to-understand explanation of how the universe (and others) came into being out of nothing.

Unfortunately, they have confused How a thing happens, which science is very good at explaining, with Why a thing happens, which science is unequipped to answer. "Why are we here?" is not answered with references to particles and such. Science doesn't have any facts or measurements that can quantify the meaning of life.

The idea that science can provide an answer to why we are here is a fallacy, and it can lead to people thinking that because science has no answer, there is no reason. Don't fall into the trap.

I have my theories about why I'm here, based on my experiences and research. I don't claim to have the answer for everyone, but I've found meaning in my life, and I'm happy with that.

If you can't find meaning in your life, at least make up something that's fun.

Clarification: On Assholes

Due to some confusion over the last post, I'd like to clarify:

The "don't be a dick" advice I gave was not intended for the Black Brotherhood. You're supposed to be a dick. For you, the Mercury Retro warning should go something like:

Warning: We're in the thick of it! You're going to give a shit what people think, and feel obliged to behave as if you were a part of the culture you were born to dominate through your dark arts. Feelings of compassion and camaraderie may manifest, but don't let that make you lose sight of your long-term destiny. This time is perhaps best spent designing a new floor in your Tower in the Abyss.

Hermetic Magicians: Warning!

We're in the thick of it! Mercury is fully retrograde. Chances are pretty good that if you're practicing some form of Hermetic-related magic, you are, right now, an asshole.

Uhm, more so than usual.

In fact I'm sure some people will realize that I'm being an asshole right now, just by mentioning it! It's true, right now I am an asshole. I realized this when I wrote:

Unhappiness vibes are spreading through the world and trying to steal the sunshine. It's worse than the Nothing, it's the Nothing is Good. Happiness is in peril!

I propose that everyone on the planet needs to go through a happiness intensive, two weeks where they unwind and are forced to be happy, whatever it takes. And then, after two weeks of being happy, if they're still bitter negative pessimistic bitches, they should be put out of their misery.

Happiness or death!

And I meant it, too.

So yeah, a happy asshole is a dangerous asshole, apparently.

Take precautions. Mitigate the situation, ask yourself, am I being a dick right now?

The answer is probably yes.

Next, don't be a dick.

Nope.

Don't do it.

I know.

Trust me, I know. It's hard. Just don't be a dick. Take a walk. Breathe. Meditate. No snarking. Don't send the post. Take the high road. Wait it out. Don't offer any advice, it's asshole advice.