Friday, January 29, 2010

To Those Who Say the Earthquake in Haiti is the Result of Some Sin...

 1Now on the same occasion there were some present who reported to Him about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mixed with their sacrifices. 2And Jesus said to them, "Do you suppose that these Galileans were greater sinners than all other Galileans because they suffered this fate?
 3"I tell you, no, but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish.
 4"Or do you suppose that those eighteen on whom the tower in Siloam fell and killed them were worse culprits than all the men who live in Jerusalem?
 5"I tell you, no, but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish." 
 6And He began telling this parable: "A man had a fig tree which had been planted in his vineyard; and he came looking for fruit on it and did not find any. 7"And he said to the vineyard-keeper, 'Behold, for three years I have come looking for fruit on this fig tree without finding any. Cut it down! Why does it even use up the ground?' 8"And he answered and said to him, 'Let it alone, sir, for this year too, until I dig around it and put in fertilizer; 9and if it bears fruit next year, fine; but if not, cut it down.'"
-Luke 13:1-9
The people who died in Haiti were no greater (or lesser) "Sinners" than anyone else. God said you're not supposed to look at catastrophe and say it happened because of this sin, or that pact made with STAN, SATIN, or any other member of the SATAN family. When shit happens, you're supposed to repent and turn to God, not blame it on anything, or condemn a nation and imply they had it coming. And to drive the point home, LOGOS says it with a warning.

He'd been saying shit like that for 3 years, and people weren't listening. The Father was ready to cut them down like a fig tree that didn't give fruit, but his vineyard-keeper (the WORKMAN) said, wait a minute, let's put some bullshit around it and see if it doesn't grow. If it doesn't bear fruit by next year, choppity choppity.

Choppity choppity, man, choppity fucking choppity.

People who are all worried about why God "punished" Haiti or New Orleans had better watch their asses. They're giving themselves a year to bear fruit.

On Liberals and Conservatives

In yesterday's post I mentioned doing magic about the political landscape. One comentor mentioned the following, and it got me thinking. What started out as a response in a comment sort of turned into something that warrants a whole post, I think. There are things I wanted to clear up about magic in general, and how I think it should be used in changing the world. Alan posted this to the comments:

How about we do some magic to remove a conservative judge and replace him/her with a liberal one?

No, not magic to specifically address things like that. I mean, by all means, go ahead, but it's a can of worms I don't want to open. Do you really think the spirits are that nuanced in their interpretation of this physical realm, able to mean what you mean when you say "liberal" and "conservative"? I asked for my family to be unharmed, and protected, and they still used a fire to bring me specific amounts of cash.

And what kind of liberal are you going to put in? You think the other extreme is any better? Politics is a circle, and if you go far enough left or right, you end up in the same place: extreme radicalism. Anarchy sits on the other side of governance, and even though it's popular, especially in occult circles, anarchy is a terrible thing practically speaking.

The other thing to keep in mind is that the liberal judge would still be human. All humans are assholes some of the time, angels some of the time, but mostly somewhere in between. With more tendencies to seem like an asshole than an angel, really. Add the power of any political position, especially one held for life, and what do you think is going to come out of it? I don't trust them at all.

Personally, I aim for the center, try to find someone who keeps the sine wave troughs low and frequency down in their vacillations between angel and asshole. Like McCain before he towed the party line after winning the primary and becoming the Republican Presidential Candidate.

I'm thinking more along the lines of a spirit of the Sphere of the Sun, or Tiphareth in qabbalistic terms, someone to influence the government at an epochal level, changing the mentality of the elected leaders as a whole, snapping them all out of their bullshit and getting them to govern, to do their fucking jobs on behalf of their constituents without fucking over their constituents' children and grandchildren.

I'm talking about a fundamental change in the political oscillation and harmonics of rule in the United States. The end result will be the moderation of the Supreme Court, a shift toward the center by the extremists in both parties, and an unbiased media to report the facts without opinion as a whole.

We'll have to get rid of reality television too, I'm afraid. It's part of the problem. Gross and wanton consumerism feeding the parts of the brain that thrive on drama. There's nothing "real" or redeeming in reality television. It's just bad actors pretending to be interesting. It's modern day soap operas. It ROTS YOUR BRAIN.

Dog the Bounty Hunter!? Howe and Howe? Pawn Stars? I mean, really, the shit they put on the history, discovery, and science channels are even poisoned with this low-brow bullshit. There is no refuge for the Ruach-focused human incarnation to turn to that isn't laced with titillating tidbits for the nephesh to feast upon.


Anyway, society doesn't need more "LIBERALS" any more than it needed "NEO-CONSERVATIVES."

It needs More Light.


Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Sorry about this...

I just watched Obama's speech and listened to the Republican Governor of VA give the counter speech. Then MSNBC commentators en masse agreed there was nothing to report on after the Republican's response. I know they're liberally biased, but MSNBC has cooler graphics than any other news program but Fox, and Fox makes me physically nauseas.

I've got to wonder wtf they were listening to while the Republican spoke. I heard things that scared the shit out of me. I work with a federal agency, a really big one that gets its own line item on your paycheck's withholding section. I can read between the lines. This is what Republicans said, behind the vaporous rhetoric:
  • We're going to push for more charter schools and vouchers that parents can use to send their kids to private Christian schools on the taxpayer's dime instead of putting that money into public education to make our kids competitive in the global market. That makes us popular with the base.
  • Buried in that process will be some ugly little things that are simply wrong to even contemplate, some things that should be listed on a spreadsheet of concerns under the "Appalling Indicators" column heading. We're going to get rid of that whole civil rights movement thing, and put the poor and minorities back where they belong. We'll start by getting rid of busing.
  • We're also going to keep fucking the poor up the ass with a night stick while giving the wealthiest more avenues to hide their profit, keep them from paying for the poor to have a chance to get to their level of achievement, and do everything in our power to keep the corporations richer than Croesus. Oh, by the way, these corporations and banks now have no limits on what they can spend to get us into office, so you'd better go invest in Federal Incense to burn to your Oligarch's figurehead, because Caesar's coming back.
Nothing to report on? Nothing? The fuck there was nothing to report on. Whose side are they on? Are liberal media heads that stupid?

Jesus Christ. They're planning a fucking race war. Helter Skelter, man.*

Watch them bastards, it's an election year and their corporate masters can pump billions into the campaigns now. Populist votes are up in the wind, and idiots who think it's cool to follow the political winds will jump on the Republican bandwagon faster than cockroaches breed. Maybe Obama's plan to mitigate the impact by having to publicly list your lobbyists will help, but I don't think it's a strong enough control valve on that particular faucet.

Anyway, not a magical post, though I'll likely do something magical about this as soon as possible. One point this fire drove home more than anything else is that magic is not only very real, it works powerfully and effectively, in ways that will change your physical reality to the core. Fuck, man, look around you and be careful, protect what you love. That includes the political landscape that we're leaving our kids. I don't want my son caught up in a fascist regime that history records as the next Dark Age.

*Extreme? A little reactionary and a touch paranoid or maybe a bit... overzealous? Yeah, maybe that's part of it, but it's on purpose. Unchecked, these nuts will ruin everything.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Heading Back to the Net

Man, I haven't had a lot of time lately for doing all the stuff I do online when things are going well. Looking at houses, dental issues, my spouse's birthday, my daughter's birthday, extra stress at work, getting into the groove of hotel living, plus all the regular stuff that happens in my daily life has left me exhausted and drained and pretty much incapacitated when it comes to doing magic, let alone writing about it. Sorry, course members, I didn't abandon you, I just got caught in the undertow as the tsunami of bullshit in my life started to wash back out to the sea of the unmanifest where it belongs.

I'm moving into my temporary house February 1, a month and a week after the fire. Today's the anniversary of the fire, by the way. In many ways, it's like a one-month birthday. I'm not the man I used to be. I'm sort of interested in seeing how I turn out when I get out of the chrysalis.

I expect to get active again online in a couple of weeks. This week is pretty much shot. I'll be packing and moving this weekend, and then next week is going to be a busy week at work. So don't expect much in the way of posting here until I can get my shit together.

Friday, January 15, 2010

The House Wasn't the Only Thing that Burned

I went through a bad time over the summer while I was unemployed. Shit rose to the surface, and needed to be burned away. It was a good thing to have happen, it's cleansed a lot of crap away. The house wasn't the only thing that burned.

It's all part of the Work, and I'm grateful. Nothing less than this would have changed my heart about things like taking care of what I spend so much money and time on. Family are a given, but I didn't appreciate the house and stuff in my life, not really.

There is a value to material posessions that brings security. It's not spiritual peace, and it's not of eternal value, but we're flesh as well as soul, this side of the grave. The body needs food, shelter and clothing. It feels better when it has it. A happy, healthy, secure Guf is every bit as important as a happy, healthy Ruach in tune with the Divine Source.

It's a tapestry of stories, this "catastrophic event" thing. It's a crystal with lots of facets, and each gives a different view of the interior of the crystal, a different perspective. With all the different views, you get a more-complete understanding. Not only that, each facet changes what you're looking at through the facets. Each facet is like a lens, changing how the experiences viewed through it appear, giving you a completely different depth of meaning that you could never have had without the lens.

Having good insurance helps a lot.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

A Font Request

Does anyone have the old "NI CelestialB" font installed on their machine? The Geocities site I got it from years ago is gone, and the font's on my old HD, one of the files I didn't know I needed to copy over. If someone has it, please let me know.

Edit: Found by Harry, an astute course member. w00+ness!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

On Goety: In retrospect, things could have been better planned

I've been avoiding talking about this, and it's probably time to bite the bullet.

After the fire, I started getting checks in the amounts that I have been requested from Bune. My weekly rites to Bune for wealth seem to have worked out really well, if the only results that matter are the dollar amounts. Unfortunately, the results included things I hadn't thought about.

From one point of view, it's experience that brings the same old lesson I've been learning for years: be specific when you do magic. I could keep doing Goety and remember to always say, "may no one be physically, mentally, or spiritually damaged as you bring about the results I desire, and let no harm or catastrophic event like MY HOUSE BURNING DOWN occur." But that's not really going to fix much.

The fire is an event that led me to take spiritual inventory. Bune's been great at getting me money, and I have no complaints about his effectiveness in getting cash. He definitely brings riches to a man. But it's been consistently temporary, consistently accompanied by pain and stress. Right now, I'm thinking that there's a time and place for Goety, but maybe it shouldn't be my primary focus. In the Modern Goetic Grimoire, I talk a lot about going through the spheres and getting intiiations so that we're empowered to do the Goetic magic effectively, but I think I should have been focusing on more than just the personal empowerment. It was irresponsible.

I mean, why do I always need a lot of cash windfalls? Because I don't save or spend wisely. Maybe I should be focusing on the root problem instead of putting in requests for massive amounts of cash that have to come through extraordinary events. I mean, really, in your every-day life, how many ways are there for $5,000 to just appear?

I didn't do one of the most important things I tell others to do: PLAN. Jason talks about it in Sorcerer's Secrets or on his blog STRATEGIC Sorcery, that you really need to create a plan for the spirits to work through in order for it to materialize. He talks about how you can't do a rite to get laid and then sit there on your computer, not shower, never go where women are, and expect the spirits to bring a woman knocking on your door asking for sex. The same applies to all magic. I asked for money, didn't specify how it should come, and the spirits allowed something terrible to happen that resulted in the money coming in.

What a drag. Everything I've said about how spirits work is true. I really can manifest a lot of money using them. But without strategy, without a plan, there's no telling how it's going to come. It's just plain dangerous to do Goety, or any other kind of magic without fore-thought.

So my magic in the present and foreseeable future isn't going to include Goety, or much interaction with the spirits closest to the material plane. Instead, I'm going back to the Work of changing my self, fine tuning my planning abilities, focusing on changing bad behavioral patterns, and developing the heart and mind to accomplish my goals.

You know how embarrassing this is? I mean, really, I think pretty highly of myself as a magician. To fall into this trap, the very thing I've warned about is just humiliating.Worse than that, my family is suffering because I fucked up. I've got more money in the bank right now than I've had in years. Big deal. I failed to proactively assess potential methods to manifest the cash, I failed to do any divination, and I failed to keep my family safe. Yes, we all got out alive, and as everyone tells me, "That's the most important thing."

It's true, things could be much worse, and I'm sure my magic to protect my family mitigated some of the worst possible effects.

But that doesn't keep my son from getting weird looks at the Scout meeting when he has to tell everyone what happened. He doesn't say, "My dad needed money, so he did magic, and Bune burned down the house and we're all fine, but we lost our HOME for 3-6 months." He doesn't say, "My dad was too lazy to clean out the furnace room even though Mom told him to a week before the fire." He doesn't even say, "My dad was too ignorant to perform the maintenance on the the furnace and water heater that would have revealed the problems that resulted in the fire." He just tells it like it is from his point of view, "My house caught on fire, and we're safe, and my cat's safe, and now we live in a hotel."

But I know. I know I failed to protect my family from the trauma we're going through. I failed as a husband and father. I failed as a magician. I failed as a man.

It's not the end of my life or anything. It's an eye-opener, and it's definitely given me a reality check. I'm "powerful," but clumsy. I'm experienced, but lazy. I'm wise, but irresponsible. I am NOT a complete failure, but I recognize that in this instance, I failed.

So I'm addressing that failure magically. I'm owning it, because it's mine. I earned it. I'm not condemning myself or thinking I can never amount to anything more than a man who failed in so many ways, but I've got to be honest about it, honest with myself, and make the changes that have to be made.

So over on the follower's list, I've gotten rid of the appeal to Bune. I'm hesitant now about making a blind evocation of Goetic powers. I'm not "blessing" people using Goetic Spirits any more. I've gained a respect for the powers I play with that I was lacking before.

Now, I know I may seem like I'm beating myself up in this post. Please, rest assured that I still think pretty highly of myself. I'm damned awesome, an asset to anyone's circle of friends, and I'm pretty cool too. I'm publicly owning up to mistakes I made because this blog is primarily about the Great Work, and this is some shit that I have to go through in the process.

Thursday, January 07, 2010

Traditional KBL Merkavah

BJ Swain, Deputy Lodge Master of Blake Lodge in Baltimore is providing a course on traditional Merkavah this week. I should have plugged it earlier, but you know how things are.

For more information, please click this link.

BJ's a frickin' genius, one of the best Thelemic Magicians I've had the pleasure to meet. His experience and knowledge of occult practice and the accomplishment of the Great Work is a rare combination, and worth seeing in action.

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Brain Dead

I can tell my stress levels are increasing because my brain isn't working right anymore. I can't write, I can't focus, and my meditations are annoyingly interrupted by thoughts of television and work. Television shows I have no interest in, even. Work issues that aren't even issues. It's weird how the brain deals with shit.

Even though the spiritual exercises I've been doing help, I'm still waking up feeling like I'm stuffed in cotton. The things I write seem dead. I've had three or four posts I've tried to write that just come out sounding like shit. Total shit.

The most annoying part is that I'm aware of the problem, I've taken steps to alleviate it, but I'm still feeling fuct in the head. It's like being smart enough to know you're not as smart as someone else, only the someone else is you yourself. Not that I'm all that bright most days, but still. I'm only partially functioning. It sucks.

I probably need more vitamins. Since moving into the hotel, my favorite food has been delicious chicken alfredo from this little delivery joint around the corner from the hotel. Man, damned good food, and it's all comforting and starchy. There just isn't a lot of Vitamin B in the pasta, cream, or butter they use to make it.

Delicious butter. Mmmmm.

I'm going through the whole mental process of dealing with the fire. It's a lot like the stages of grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, the whole Kubler-Ross model. Being a magician makes it easier, I think, but I still go through the phases. It's weird how they hit about different aspects of my life throughout the day. I find myself in denial about some things, bargaining about others, depressed about some, and accepting about still other aspects of it.

Anyone pick up interesting dietary suggestions to help deal with "any form of catastrophic personal loss"? Or anything else that would help get me past this crap? Especially the brain-dead feeling that seems worse today than usual.

Please post 'em in the comments, yo! My brain NEEDS you!

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Cthulhu lives!

Just got word from the people cleaning my stuff, and the hand-made Cthulhu I got from Suzanne Illes LIVES! It was cleaned and cured from all the smoke damage. Woot!

Sunday, January 03, 2010

Happy New Year and Stuff

Happy New Year!

[Insert warm sentiment and well wishes here.]

Well, it's been a busy end-of-the-year, as you can imagine. I just got around to setting up the yahoo groups for the Hermetic Merkavah and Supernatural Assistant courses starting tomorrow. If you signed up, check your inbox. If you meant to sign up and haven't yet, email me at to save your spot in the course. I'll be shutting down enrollment next weekend.

I'm a little frazzled with the events of my life. It's not fun losing everything to fire and smoke, and even though I know deeply that things will be alright eventually, and I'll end up coming through this "smelling like a rose," there will be days of nausea and angst to come. I've been doing a lot of contemplation of my Source and I've managed to maintain a pretty level outlook on things in general.

You know what, I don't have a lot of time to post today, I've got a lot going on, but damn it, this is important. I tried writing a decent post about this a few times, and I can't find the right words to make it a masterpiece, so I'm just going to put it out there the way I see it, it's important, I think.

People have said I have a good outlook. One dude said I'm a "happy bastard" because I have a lot of spirits helping me. A few people have suspected I'm in shock, and they were probably right to a degree. But the truth is, I've seen fucking eternity stretching out for-fucking-ever, and while I deal with the bullshit and walk out my part in it to get to the best end-result possible, it's a given that this crap will pass. As a result, I have a positive outlook on things.

Eventually, no matter how much bullshit you've got to deal with, it ends. You either die and go back to eternity, or you live and things get better. There are days of feces, and there are days of bliss. You put up with the feces to get to the bliss. That's my core philosophy when it comes to dealing with crap. I'm a magician, and I'm not bragging or anything, but come on, this isn't that bad, really. It's a huge opportunity to start over, re-evaluate priorities, and set things right that weren't before. I can design my entire lifestyle based on what I know works and what doesn't now. I have a clean slate at my house, no bills, no mess, no piles of crap to take out of the furnace room before it catches on fire. It's already too late, you know? I've written it off, and moved on to where I'm at.

One of the main reasons people get into magic is to make their lives better. It provides a means to deal with the crap that comes with life, a means to change the world and ourselves. I gives me a perspective on my life that brings peace. It gives me tools to engineer things better, and to react to things better. It doesn't make life perfect, but it makes things better.

This is how I think magicians respond to things in their lives. Ideally, I'd have avoided the situation magically, but I can't think of everything, and I have sorely neglected divination for years. There's no means in my daily life for spirits to provide warning, and even if they did, I would have ignored it and gone on to getting more money a few weeks ago. Priorities were a little skewed, and I had no frame of reference to even notice it.

Things have changed. That's what happens. Life goes on, and we get on with it as long as we can. I still can, so I do.

Anyway, happy new year, may your life be blessed with Peace and Prosperity. But especially Peace.