Friday, January 30, 2009

Miscellaneous stuff

Well, I've been not writing the Practically Agrippa series all week long! Hope you've enjoyed it as much as I have.

Seriously, my brain power's about kaput, but I'm planning a reload this weekend. Maybe I'll get to it Saturday and schedule the series to come out through the week. Five basic rituals based on five chapters shouldn't be too hard. Maybe something not based on chapters, but on subjects even. Self-Initiation, Conjuration, Remote Viewing, Divination, and I dunno, Agrippinian Chaos Magic, what the hell.

I'm test flying a new initiation procedure on a somewhat informed and charmingly willing victim. Those of you who experienced my Solar Sphere Initiation failures (your fault, you didn't do the follow up Work), or if you're one of the folks that burned out while I was having you Samekh your way into the Sun, you're aware of the issues that arise in jumping directly into a Solar initiation right out of the gate. So I'm experimenting with a new method to soften and loosen up some of the crap that turns into flaming projectiles when you go straight to the Sun. In the Alchemical process, the Black Stage comes from steady, lower-temperature heat applied to the base material. The negative crap rises to the surface in preparation for burning into White ash in the White Stage. Maybe pushing folks into the Sun out of the gate isn't as efficient, so I'm starting sub-lunar now.

If he lives past tomorrow, I'll eventually publish the methods.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Everything happens for a reason... really.

I'm really too tired for this right now, but it's either respond to Jason's (and now Fr. BH's, and now Monsignor Rossbach's) post, or copy-paste yet more text from a word doc into a spreadsheet that will be morphed into yet another word doc in a few weeks.

Clearly, I am predestined to write this now.

In my comment on Jason's post, I began with my favorite expletive. "Bullshit!" It's totally apt for a number of things I run into in life. I'm adept at recognizing it. I am a Taurus. And I believe firmly that bullshit makes the flowers grow, but then again, I'm a predestinationalist. The bullshit is there TO make the flowers grow, on PURPOSE.

Now, I'm not just a predestinationalist, I'm a full-fledged Calvinist. TULIP, five points of Calvinism, baby. I waffle on limited atonement on occassion; right now I suspect the internet-runners that are as bright as a bag of hair when it comes to white horses being horses have no fucking soul. Overall though, Total Depravity, Unconditional Election, Limited Atonement, Iressistable Grace, and Perseverance of the saints, that's me at the core. It seems pretty out-dated in this new-fangled world that has so blithely accepted the illusion of free will. I don't really care how hip it is.

Long ago, and far away, I got a Vision. The Universe stretched out before me into infinity, and I saw that everything was moving like clockwork, together in perfect harmony. I saw that "now" unfolded endlessly before me, according to all that had come "before." I saw the Angels dancing and singing and doing their thing, I saw the demons laughing and playing and doing their thing, and I saw crowned above it all a King. Who smiles all the time. (Good Omens reference, 13 points if you got it.)

Cabalists of the GD persuasion might say I received a Vision of the Mechanics of the Universe, the spiritual vision of Yesod. I wouldn't argue, but I'd also point out that it wasn't just the engine parts that I saw, but also the harmony of the movement, and the role of mankind as an angel working in harmony with all other things. There was the Vision of the Harmony of the Universe mingled in with it, the Vision that they assign to Tiphareth in the Sun. Its father is the Sun, and its mother is the Moon (Emerald Tablet reference, score 7 points for that one). And on their Tree of Life, the path between is Samekh, as in the Liber, and there's a damned good reason.

Now I don't pretend that it doesn't SEEM like we have free will. I don't use it as a cop out or anything that the ignorant so often accuse me of. The ignorant will say, "if it's all predestined, nothing I do has any meaning..." All I can answer is that everything you DO has meaning because it is in complete accord with the rest of the harmony and mechanics of the spheres and their entities. It wouldn't unfold the way it's supposed to without you.

The marvelous thing about it is that we have the illusion of free will. It seems like we get to make our own decisions. Smarter folks than I have argued and pondered the implications. Fr. S.L. is consistently using dice theory and other mathematics to demonstrate that even though only one thing can happen at any given moment experientially, that doesn't mean a thousand (well, 36 sometimes, if I remember right) other things COULDN'T have happened... He's quite convincing.

But I just know he's wrong. I saw it. I live it. I don't get left empty in the acceptance of that at all, instead it's really cool. It makes me eager to discover What Happens Next (Great and Secret Show reference for 22 points). I live in ignorance of the future, and I know that the way it unfolds is by my actions. Even though my decisions are predestined and are a given, I remain ignorant of what they are and am able to experience them as if I actually made a difference. And I did. It's through our choices that the divine plan set in motion and locked in stone at the beginning of time unfolds. And that's awesome.

When some relatively local nut went on a rampage and shot some Amish kids in a little school house in Pennsylvania a couple of years ago, someone suggested that I go in and tell them that the fact that their kids were killed is beautiful and part of god's plan, let's be all joyous that our children's blood is on the walls. His issue was that evil, bad shit, and suffering are part of the overall harmony too. I'm sorrowful, a tone that brings pain and longing for freedom and oneness, on his behalf, for the bitterness he carries over the idea that he's meaningless if he wasn't the only part of himself making the choices he makes. But that's beautiful ... too.

Why does any of this matter? Why are we stuck reaping the consequences of actions we didn't set in motion? How is it fair?

It ain't. It's just life. Sometimes it feels good and sometimes... not so much.. Two adult friends had grandmothers go into the hospital in the past week. One is recovering from surgery on the flesh suit, and one is recovering from her time in the flesh suit. Both are every bit as much existant as they were before. The difference is that part of one is done with her time here, part of one is still finishing up some shit that has to be done. Who got the better end of the deal? The one that doesn't have to drink metamucil to take a dump ever again, or the one who gets to hold her great grandchildren a couple more times? Who knows?

The reason it seems so fucking unfair to free-will believers is that they just don't have a perspective on life from the standpoint of ETERNITY. Ultimately, if half the shit we know is right in our hearts is really right, we're all going to be hanging out in the Elesian Fields, the Summer Lands, Heaven, New Jerusalem, and maybe the Mormons really do get theri own planets where they are Gods and their many wives become their choirs of angels. Doubt it, but it could happen. Point is, everyone knows it's etter to stay alive while we're here, and even better than that once we're gone.

But I guarantee that anyone (even me, I'm no perfect schmo who lives what I'm saying all the time) who is suffering, sad, angry, depressed, anxious, or upset has SOLID lost sight of eternity, and needs a refresher course pretty badly.

Where's the proof? Somewhere between the Moon and the Sun. It's right there. Samekh. Temperance. Art. And it's beautiful.

(If you got all the points and caught the reference of your final score, score youreself another 376!)

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Mercury Retro and Practically Agrippa

Couple things to point out, I don't have a lot of time.

First, there's some neat graphics about the current Mercury Retrograde that shows where mercury is relative to the Sun throughout this retrograde. Interesting interesting stuff:

Second, I've started writing up some practical magical rites and rituals based on Agrippa's information. Someone pointed out that the tables of information don't tell you how to do the magic. Oopsie!

So, I'll write five or ten simple rituals that demonstrate how to use the Three Books of Occult Philosophy in practical magic, focusing on both Ascension magic and mundane manifestation magic. To begin, I'll start with the elements, then the planets, the geomantic and other planetary figures, and some Angel magic. Most likely I'll focus on books 2 and 3, but who knows?

Monday, January 26, 2009

Why they Live

Do you ever wonder why the stupid fucks get to live? The ones that just don't get it?

They're all made "in the image of god," they all have the potential to accomplish the Work, and between now and eternity, they will all come to grace/enlightenment/attainment/unity with god, or whatever. Eventually. SOMEfuckingDAY.

It would take way too long to kill them all. The logistics alone are overwhelming. The ethics are questionable. And the smell of the cities afterwards...

Those are the two reasons I usually come to in my contemplation of why the pinheads get to breathe. I find myself contemplating this when I read about how it takes months to figure out that a white horse is not a horse, and what that means, and how it applies to life. It's a big fat giant "No fucking shit!" when you get to the "right" answer.

I struggle with humility. I get prideful and arrogant. I get knocked on my ass when I argue with my betters because I think I know better than they do. It happens a LOT.


Because the world is full of morons! Folks with all the spiritual awareness of a bag of hair. Less, because at least the spirit of the bag of hair is aware. Most folks want to drink their cold Coors Light and catch a rerun of Mork and Mindy, and they're fine people, but do you think they know that logic and rational mind is there to point out that there's something bigger than the sum of the parts?

These are the things I usually think about when I try to figure out why muggles are here.

But tonight, I had a brilliant flash of insight! I finally "grok" what is going on, and the purpose of people like that! Without them, there would be no oil refined into gasoline or plastic, there would be no playstation, no guitar hero, and no flushable toilets. There would be no Network Operating Centers, no Data Warehouses, no fiber-optic networks. There would be no dynamic IP, no electronic fund transfers, and no online banking.

They're here because...

Someone has to keep the internet running!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Spirit Pots... er... bottles

The local occult book shop sells these neat little Egyptian Perfume Bottles. They're made of hand-blown glass, and are really pretty. Ever since seeing them, I've wanted to make one into a spirit pot. They look a bit too much like a Genie bottle to pass up.

I bought some in bulk, and I'm grinding the herbs now. I'm going to be putting together everything you need for a Goetic Spirit Pot (bottle) for a Duke of the Goetia. I've got a blend of Venusian herbs that I use with Bune, which I'll put into the bottle. You'll also get a blank copper talisman forged in a Venus hour that you can inscribe with the spirit's seal of your choice.

The following table lists the Dukes of the Goetia, and links to their seal on Joe Peterson's web site. The links are to his bookmarks on the page, and some of them aren't perfectly accurate; you may have to scroll up or down a bit to get to them.

As you can see, the Dukes are pretty handy fellows to have on your side. If you're interested in purchasing one or more, please visit my Products and Services page at the Rufus Opus web site. I have ten total available.

Duke Powers
2. Agares Makes them run that stand still, fetches back runaways, teaches languages and tongues, destroys dignities (supernatural and temporal), causes earthquakes
6. Valefar Is a good familiar, but tempts magician to steal
8. Barbatos Opens treasures sealed by magicians, divination, reconciles friends and those in power
11. Gusoin Tells of things past, present, and to come, shows meaning of all questions you ask, reconciles friends, gives honor and dignity to any
15. Eligor Discovers hidden things, knows of things to come, of wars, how soldiers will and shall meet, causes Love of Lords and great persons
16. Zepar Cause women to love men, bring them together in love, makes women barren
18. Bathin Knows the virtue of herbs and precious stones, transports men suddenly from one country to another
19. Saleos Causes love of women to men and men to women
23. Aim Sets cities, castles and great places on fire; makes one witty, gives true answers to private matters
26. Buné Changes places of dead, causes spirits under him to gather together on their sepulchres, gives riches to a man, makes a man wise and eloquent, gives true answers
28. Berith Gives true answers of things concerning the past, present, and to come, turns all metals into gold, gives and confirms dignity to men
29. Astaroth Gives true answers of things present, past, and to come, can discover all secrets, declares how spirits fell, reason he fell, teaches Liberal sciences.
41. Focalor Kills men, drown them in waters, overthrow ships of war
42. Vepar Guides the waters and ships laden with armor, causes seas to be rough and stormy, and to appear full of ships, he causes men to die in three days with putrefying sores and wounds, and causes worms to breed in them
47. Vual Procures love of women, tells things past, present and to come, procures friendship between friends and foes
49. Procel Speaks mystically of hidden things, teaches art of geometry and liberal sciences, makes loud noises of running water, warms waters, discovers baths
52. Alloces Teaches astronomy and liberal sciences, gives good familiars
54. Murmur Teaches philosophy, makes dead people appear before magician to answer whatever the mage wants to know
56. Gemory Tells of all things past, present and to come, of hidden treasure and what it lays in (where it is?), procures love of women young and old
60. Vapula Teaches handicraft professions, philosophy and other sciences
64. Flauros Gives true answers of things past, present, and to come. Talks of divinity, creation of the world, falling of the spirits, destroys and burns enemies, will not let magician be tempted by any spirit or otherwise
67. Amduscias Causes trees to bend and incline, gives excellent familiars
71. Dantalion Teaches arts and sciences to anyone, declares secret councils of anyone, knows thoughts of all men and women, can change them at will, causes love, shows true similitude of anyone wherever they are in the world

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Barbatos: Dr. Doolittle, Reconciliation, and African Kings

I never got around to having Barbatos reconcile the Africans that were having issues. It wasn't important enough to me, and I don't know if that's a failing on my part, or a message in itself. My world, mine, is very small and very personal. Not private, necessarily, but personal.

I have, however, been working with Barbatos. I like the name, for one thing. It conjure images of pirates and the Carribean. Arr. I also have a plethora of pets in my house.We have several goldfish, three ferrets, two cats, and until a couple of days ago, one dog. We had to get rid of the dog because the allergies were killing us.

I love having a dog. I was working with Barbatos, and I developed a communion with the dog. She and I got along really well, and she was brilliant. Training was going great, except for crapping in the house, but that was because when we first got her, I yelled at her when she crapped in the house. She learned crapping was bad, and to hide it. After a while, I realized this was the wrong tactic, and stopped making a big deal when she pooped inside, and made a really big positive deal when she did it outside. Things were getting better, she had at least begun pooping BY the door, and I think a couple more weeks and we would have gotten things straightened out. Figuring out what she was thinking and feeling became really easy when I started Working with Barbatos. She didn't understand me any better, but I was able to understand her in new ways.

I also developed a communion with the ferrets. When Rosco passed away, we got a couple of friends for Badger. One is his "wife," and the other... well, he's this HUGE fat ferret, older than Badger, and kind of mean spirited. He's pure white and beautiful, but he's just mean. He dominated Badger, and wouldn't let him eat. Rosco had done the same. So the fat mean one is on the way out. Fuck him.

The other night, my daughter came running in with Badger, all in tears. He wasn't eating, and he wasn't playful. I told her he was depressed, and needed to be separated from the fatty, given lots of attention, and his own food. No, she wailed, he's sick and must go to the vet hospital. :sigh:

$165 later, the vet explained that he was depressed, should be separated from the dominant male, and played with. I knew that was the problem, without having any training in animal psychology or anyhting, I just had this communion with the ferret. I took one look at him and knew what his deal was.

And then there's the goldfish. They're easy to forget about. The other night I dreamed they were dead. Specifically this really cute little frog, one of my favorites. In the morning, I went down to check on them, and the frog was alive, but VERY HUNGRY. We hadn't fed them in a couple of days, as my wife has been ill. She usually asks each night before the kids go to bed if anyone fed the fish today, and since she's been sleeping by the time they go to bed, I have been derelict in her duties.

So the fish were communicating with me, or Barbatos sent me a dream about the pets, I dunno.

His powers of Reconciliation aren't quite universal. He seems to be best at reconciling people in positions of authority. There's a manager here at work who doesn't get along with another manager at all. They are career employees, have worked here for years, and have disliked each other for most of their time together. I'm working with Barbatos on them, as I've been pulled in to take notes on a meeting between them, and they've managed to get along well enough so far on this project.

However, I recently had a person join the RealMagick yahoo group who conflict revolved around. Whatever residual reconciliation powers might be residing in my sphere from my work with Barbatos weren't enough to bring peace and harmony to that particular person. Not that it was a great loss, and maybe if I cared enough I'd send Barbatos to influence her directly, but honestly, she's too annoying to worry about. It was nice to have a fresh voice on the list though.

Not one dollar...

In case you're wondering, not ONE person sent me a dollar. By the time I was done with the Remote Viewing part of my previous post, I was in a zone, a mental state that I can only describe as highly tranced out. I figured reading it would make you trance out too, and that you'd send me a buck given the proper motivation.

Experiment FAIL. So much for my AMAZING POWERS OF MESMERISM!!!

Living Magic: What it's Like... Today

[I wrote this post all out, and after re-reading it, I realized that this is how I feel at the moment, but tomorrow I could easily be all on fire for some new aspect of magic that I haven't thought of before, and everything I wrote below won't be how I see Living Magic until after the latest thing has been integrated. So I added the "... Today" to the post. Enjoy!]

As a new magician, I wanted power, pretty much. I got it. I wanted to see the spirits. I see them. I wanted to grow closer to God and find a meaning for my life. Got those things too.

The process and individual experiences are awesome. The things I experience as a magician are unlike anything I've ever experienced before. The power of an angel in your dining room is something that doesn't compare to anything else. The awe you feel when a Demon's around is something different, but equally intense. The ecstasy of being in God's presence, when he's palpably there with you, weighing down the air with the Glory and bringing you to understandings of Love and Matter that you've never even considered before is indescribable.

But you get used to it pretty quickly. I was looking at my Goetic seals the other day, considering posting them for sale. I've got 17 that I was willing to sell at $35 each. Assuming people would buy them, that's like $595. Nothing to sneeze at. I don't use them much anymore. When I need to talk to one of them, or coordinate a strategic initiative, I can call them by name and they're present and ready to Work. I don't have to break out the whole kit and kaboodle every time I want to have a chat. So I figured the Seals were disposable at this point.*

In my daily life, I get hunches that I recognize as coming from my spirit advisors. The time I spend working in the spheres of the planets integrating their powers into my own sphere results in knowing things that I wouldn't have known otherwise, having an insight into situations that I didn't have previously. I haven't considered blasting people with the powers of Mercury, the Moon, or the Sun in meetings, and maybe I will start doing that as it occurs to me to do so, but overall the changes to my life from my Work have been subtle.

I don't "see" my daimonic advisors as much as I used to. It's not that they aren't there; it's more that I don't "look" for them. I've never really understood the value of astral vision in my own life. I see how it has helped Fr. BH (from Doing Magic) in his life, and it seems like a useful thing for him. I'm not interested in what my office looks like in the astral realm. If something is "wrong" at work, I usually reflexively fix it.

I am a psychic now, after doing all this Work for years. I was talking to a friend the other night in California, and he suggested we try an experiment where he would project a planetary symbol on his monitor and I would see if I could read it. I was in the middle of a Saturn ritual at the time, chatting in IMs in between engraving a lead talisman with the seals of Cassiel from the Heptameron, and I didn't want to mess around with other spheres at the time. I explained I was "in Saturn" at the moment, and he said that was the symbol he was planning on projecting anyway. Coincidence, maybe, or I was broadcasting what I was working on, and he picked it up.

I can perform remote viewing when it occurs to me. Right now, my wife is taking a nap. My supervisor is consternated because the meeting he's in isn't going in any useful direction. My boss (different fellow) is looking intently at his screen reading an email about someone who has the potential to make him very happy in his expectations at work. Osama bin Laden is under ground, and I get the strong feeling he's dead, and has been for a while. Could be wrong about that, it might just be that his influence has waned and he doesn't have the control he did before, but for all intents and purposes, he's pretty much done for. The Russian president is alone in a room with red and gold all around him, talking on the phone. The real leader of Russia is in a bunker, hiding from someone who wants him dead, and in significant pain. Kim Jong Il is asleep. Sarah Palin is looking at water. Obama has somewhere else he needs to be, and is stuck in a meeting with people who aren't doing what he wants. My son is asleep on the couch, or almost asleep.

You are in a deep hypnotic state as you read this. Click the Buy Now button below and send me a dollar. Then forget you did.

Snap out of it!

The point is that life with magic has become normal, even though I've done extraordinary things. It's not boring, it's fun. But it's not all fireballs and curses and demon conjuring and travelling to hell. It's just life. Magic gets integrated into your life in ways that are unexpected, and like everything else, humans adapt to it. You do it because that's what you do. Magicians can't help it.

So if you're new to magic, and find that the more you do the more it seems less spectacular, understand that you're doing something incredible anyway. It's normal for us to create the universe as we see fit. It's normal to develop extrasensory perceptions. It's normal to develop relationships with invisible co-workers. It's what we were born to do.

*Four of my fellow magicians and sorcerors cautioned me against selling them, so don't look to buy them any time soon. They explained about "links" to the object, and how they represent a personal relationship between me and the spirit. Selling it would not only be disrespectful, it would also provide others a link to me, they said. Half of them have a great deal more experience with this stuff than I do, and I respect all of them equally anyway, so I decided against selling them. Your loss. Unless you offer me a LOT of money. Cash is king, common sense be damned.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Flippin' Sweet: Strategic Sorcery in Action

Jason wrote a great blog post explaining Strategic Sorcery in Action. I think it's a must read for all magicians who wonder what the Great Work looks like when you're doing it.

Another friend of mine, Fr. Servitor Lucem, wrote a series of articles at Rending the Veil (the archives STILL aren't up, if you know web administration and have some free time, email Sheta there) about his own attempts at strategic magic. While he got exactly what he asked for, he learned a lot in the process.

When I perform manifestation magic, I tend to contact a single spirit, state my request, and then let the spirit handle any additional details. While this is effective, it is only effective to a degree. The things I have happen that are truly awesome usually involve working with multiple spirits, and have a bit of planning involved.

I am paying attention to this fact.

A book I read, The Four Hour Work Week, taught me that the key to wealth isn't a single job (no kidding), or a single investment. It comes from setting up multiple streams of income. They don't have to be huge sources of income, they can each provide a hundred or so dollars a month. After setting up enough of them, you're bringing in a few thousand a month, and some are more effective than others, and some less. You cultivate the ones that pay well, and you keep on growing until you're getting what you want.

This is a principle that applies to the Great Work as well. I'm in Project Management for my day job. That gets things done and keeps everyone working on the project focused on what they are supposed to be doing. It involves analyzing specific requirements, designing solutions, executing the design, implementing the solution, and then monitoring and controlling the solution while it is being used. The final stages are closeout and lessons learned, which feed into future projects.

As a Magician accomplishing the Great Work, I need to apply these techniques to my magic as well. I have some health issues to address, and there are friends and family that could use my help as well. I have a couple of "You: out of my Universe!" projects going on at the moment that I can use this information on. There are a few things I want to accomplish using the spirits of the Pseudomonarchia. There's this guy I'm planning on turning into a first-class active full-time magician with something to contribute to the world.

The gold brick project ... I'm still wanting to stick to a single spirit at a time on that one because it's a hobby. I have ACZINOR of the Earth Tablet, and probably whichever Senior rules the Sun as well to Work with on that, and if they don't work, there are the gnomes that I can send to fetch me one. I don't want to mix systems on that particular front because it is a more controlled experiment. I don't NEED a gold brick, I just want one.

Then there's just my own personal life that this can be applied to as well. Work, home improvement projects, wardrobe, diet, exercise, parenting... What is it we're talking about here? Taking responsibility for controlling your life as it manifests around you. Planning, reasoning, and then acting on the decisions made, following up on it, making it happen, taking care of it, and then learning from everyhting. Progression, action, building, making, doing, creating, Rising and Descending in Power, by this were all things created.

Strategic Sorcery: The Great Work in Action. Jason rocks.

(Jason Miller, also known as Inominandum, is the author of Reversal and Protection Magic. Again I say, if you don't own the book, buy it, it's about more than Protection and Reversal, it's about doing magic.)

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Astral Warriors!

Ok, making fun of the bugfuck crazy is not only a privilege among the Ceremonial Magician crowd, it is a Sacred Duty. NO ONE is exempt from the condescending mockery, not even ourselves in our youth! I make fun of my delusion that I was the Black Dragon come to destroy the Wheel of Time and return the manifest realm to a Mythic Age frequently.

That said, I have a soft spot in my heart for the Astral Warriors. How do we know, really, that they AREN'T the thin red line that keeps the rest of reality from collapsing, imploding, or from being overrun by highly evolved reptoids living in the center of the hollow Earth? Maybe if that dude hadn't gone around dropping Orgone Energy devices in the Vortices at sea in the Bermuda Triangle, in the Pacific near where Pacifica fell in steam and fire, and at the dreaded Montauk AFB, the Greys and their Evil Masters would be eating the fluid released from the decomposition chambers which hold the decaying remains of my very own children.

We may never know.

Every once in a while, I run into Astral Warriors who just don't deserve to be mocked. They may be clinically insane by society's standards, but they're damned sincere. I'm not talking about the folks living a fantasy novel existence because it's really cool to be a vampire this week, a fairy next week, or an otherkin. I'm talking about the people who experience really Weird Shit that's just totally unbelievable, and talk about it in the same ways they talk about their tires going flat on their cars. On those occasions, I try to extend to them the benefit of the doubt.

One astral warrior friend of mine is waigng a war against a being she claims has found a means to draw "energy" from those who pray in the name of Jesus. Of 8 infected clients, 6 have been cured, and the other two are still exhibiting symptoms of obsession, if not outright possession. She gets mocked for this, and you can tell it hurts her feelings, but she knows her shit and puts up with the mockery because she gets results and the people she helps are happy.

Giving the benefit of the doubt doesn't hurt, so I offered my advice about how I would deal with it, and she was gracious and explained that she might go ahead with my suggestions, but that she already has plans in place.

Out of curiosity, I went ahead and checked on this entity and her Astral Warfare. I asked Raphael and Michael about it. I wanted to know whether she was mad and counseling the mad with madness that was effective because they were mad, or if it was something serious. I got a picture of the entity she's fighting, and saw that her efforts were effective, and that she is one person dealing with things that are part of a plan that doesn't involve me and my friends at all, but that she isn't working alone. I got the sense that what she's doing is creating a path back to God for people who have forgotten that God is there, or never knew they didn't know in the first place. By having a spiritual battle for their minds, souls, and actions in the material world, they are experiencing the fact that they are spirits in a physical world. What that triggers in their souls is an awakening to a hunger or thirst that they didn't know they had, and that can only be fulfilled by God (however he reveals himself to them).

So is it hokum? No, not at all. Are the planes in danger of being overrun by aliens or creatures from universes overlapping ours invisibly, taking power from people by sucking their "energy?" Yes, but no more than ever before, and chances are it will not affect you.

But if it does, let me know and I'll send you to someone who can help.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Protection and Reversal Magick

Most of my faithful readers know about Inominandum (Jason Miller)'s book, Protection and Reversal Magick. Either you read his blog, have read the book yourself, or you remember me mentioning it a while ago.

After speaking at Thelesis (an AWESOME experience that I'd GLADLY do again), I found myself suffering all the symptoms of being hexed. I don't know if I offended an attendant, or if my Christian presentation upset the OTO Egregore (The Christians to the Lions! is a Crowleyism that runs deep in Thelema, from my own experience, although NOT at Thelesis, they were truly a great group of folks).

I like to think it was an Ordeal. I took on the mantle of Hierophant in a more active way, and the Powers that Be saw fit to test my mettle to demonstrate to me that I need to be aware that if I'm going to teach things of a spiritual nature, I can expect a spiritual test to demonstrate I have the right to do so.

However, the most probable cause was simply Mercury going retrograde the day after the Thelesis lecture.

Anyway, whatever the cause, I ended up in exactly what Jason describes in his book as a "crossed condition." It was relatively easy to fix, once I recognized the symptoms, and things immediately got better after a quick ritual. Having read his book gave me the ability to figure out that something wasn't working right and a clue about what to do to fix it.

If you haven't already, you really should buy and read this book. It also provides some insights into a method he uses to work with Hekate that would be really useful to people looking for a way to use traditional grimoire magical techniques in a more pagan friendly way than is sometimes presented in the classical grimoires themselves.

My latest bit of bloggy goodness

I collect awesome blogs to read. My latest addition is from a Brazilian Portuguese fellow who accidentally conjured (imo) Barbatos by doodling his seal.

On Matter and Spirit

The division between matter and spirit is an interesting conundrum. In the Corpus Hermeticum, God contracts part of infinity leaving a sphere of smoking matter. In the contraction, he had to remove everything from that sphere *except* what would later become "matter." So, it's safe to believe that the stuff that became matter existed within God eternally "before" the contraction.

Now, did *all* of the "stuff" that became matter that was in God before the contraction get dumped into that sphere? Or is there still the "stuff" of matter in the Ain Soph Aur-Pleroma-Infinite Light of God? If it all got dumped, we have a foundation for saying Spirit is separate from Matter. Both combined were the infinite Monad. (Oh, wait, that would mean that after the contraction, the Monad became somehow less than what it was before the contraction, and the pros and cons of this difference can be argued.) If God separated himself from matter, he would no longer be infinite.

Since I'm not literally light floating in a sea of light, it's safe to say the contraction occured. I don't know what the ramifications of this contraction are.
Based on my experience, there's no "where" I can go without running into evidence of God. I tend to be more animistic lately, Working with the spirit of my laptop as I type, for instance, thanking it and treating it with respect. I believe all spirits are a manifestation of God, and the more I treat my "stuff" as if it a spirit indwelled it, the better things seem to work. So I guess I'm currently in the camp that God is in the earth and Matter, while separate from God, is indwelled nonehtless by God in some form.

Hmmm. When speaking to the Athenians, Paul quoted a Greek poet who said, "In him we live and move and have our being." As an apostle inspired by and given the Words by the Holy Spirit, his acknowledgement of that phrase as a manifestation of the truth og God's being-ness would indicate that the World *is* God.

So matter is God, but a dumped part of God, and is indwelled by manifestations of the Spirit of God. With the "ISes" used in the previous sentence indicating a logical map tht helps me understand where I'm coming from, not necessarily a declaration of truth.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Lecture Results

So I went up to Thelesis Lodge in PA yesterday and gave a course on The Modern Angelic Grimoire. It went AWESOME. To the people that were there: you were the best audience a person could hope for as a first-time lecturer.The people at Thelesis were warm, welcoming, and damn fine cooks.

Seriously, damn fine cooks. Raymond made this chicken stuff, it was Indian and so delicious. The hoagies were great (thanks Persephone), the cookies (homemade by Steve) were just right, crispy at the edges, soft in the center, and the pie was outstanding (pretty sure that was Amy). I didn't get to the salsa and pita-hummous, but I meant to. I was pretty stuffed. People paid me to talk. That was cool. After paying the babysitter (highway robbery it was) and tolls and gas (more highway robbery), I ended up losing $10 on the whole deal, but it was worth EVERY PENNY! And then some. Meeting magicians who understood the Christian aspects of my Work was fanulous.

The folks were cool. They raised their hands and asked questions, they put up with me rambling, they interacted well. We conjured Haniel (the time was right, even if the day was wrong) and he popped up, almost everyone felt his presence, and it was just awesome. The folks all got to see how easy conjuring a spirit could be, and the flexibility of the grimoires. I think it was worth their time and money. I hope a few of them will be using the techniques in their work soon.

I talked for like two hours almost. Maybe an hour and a half. My throat was a little sore, and I was standing the whole time. This fat magician isn't used to that. My wife was able to attend (thanks to the baby-sitter who miraculously appeared last-minute), and she mentioned that I slouched the whole time. Today my back is killing me, so she's probably right.

All in all, I had a blast. The questions were excellent and thoughtful. There were people from Baltimore that drove up (and got pulled over on the way because they were running late), and I finally got to mee Fr. Ararita from Blake Lodge in DC-Baltimore. After years of correspondence online, he was awesome to meet in person.

Yeah, I'm rambling now, but it was a great time. I didn't need to be worried as much as I was. When I couldn't think of a word, they usually knew what it was, between my wife, the linguist (Brian), Ararita, or someone there. It went well.

And Tokyo is in Japan. Not China. You knew that. I knew that. I kinda forgot during the lecture, but I was thinking of other things and that part of my brain wasn't working right. That's my explanation.

Maryland Locals

For those local to MD, I'm going to take a stab at keeping the Maryland Center for Occult Studies blog up and running. If anyone has any local events going on in the MD-Baltimore-PA-DC areas, let me know and I'll update the blog.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

My First Lecture

This Saturday is my first public speaking engagement related to things of the occult nature. I'm going to be speaking at Thelesis Lodge in Philadelphia. The subject, fortunately for me, is the Modern Angelic Grimoire. It's a topic I've covered on my blog for years now, and it's the system I've worked with the most.

Ararita418, whose voice and video page I linked to previously, is going to be there. He and I have been online friends for longer than I've worked the Angelic Grimoire. I heard him speak, and the man has polish. He's OTO, and he's all professional. The correspondence I've had with the leadership of the Thelesis Lodge has been very proper and correct as well. I don't mind pretending to be polished and civilized at work, but the topics I'll be covering are near and dear to my heart. As a result, there's a lot more of "me" that will come through, and "me" drives a camaro, chews tobacco, and spent time in a trailer park in Oklahoma.

I'm downright nervous.

On the one hand, I'll be talking to Thelemites who wear real robes during their rituals, who expect more from a ceremony than "Yo, Jesus, you ready? I'm set! Let's go!" I conjure in jeans and t-shirts. I bathe before rituals... sometimes. My approach is much more earthy than intellectual. These people are paying me to present information that will help them in their Great Work. I don't want to disappoint them.

But on the other hand, I totally got the results I think they're looking for. It's an awesome system, perfect for anyone to attain the highest levels of the Great Work, if they use it. There's no end to the stuff that can be done with it. I get excited thinking about how much I grew and developed as a man using this system. The insights, the attunements to the different spheres, the relationships I've developed with each of the Archangels over the years...

I just don't want "me" to make the system look bad.

In the final analysis, I know everything came together for a reason. A series of fortunate events, synchronicities, cause and effects, all the earmarks of God's plan unfolding indicate that I am the right man for the job. So I'll just shelve the anxiety until I'm about to talk, and then get all aquiver until I get into it.

And I'll TRY not to come across like the pentecostal charismatic fire and brimstone preacher I've always secretly been at heart. Wouldn't want Legion running screaming from the Lodge looking for a herd of pigs to drown, now would we?

(Anyone interested in coming can contact me for more information. It's 12-3 on Saturday the 10th in Philadelphia, PA. It's $15 per person last I heard, prices are subject to change. Also, if you're local to Baltimore, I'll be presenting the Trithemian System locally soon too.)

Monday, January 05, 2009

Enochian Paranoia

Are the Enochian Angels out to get us? Do they want to bring about another Apocalypse? Are they the evil Watchers, Grigori, pretending to be the good angels that taught Enoch their wisdom in order to lead us into bringing about the next recreation of the Earth?

Donald Tyson seems to think so.

For years I have thought that Tyson is a great researcher, but his apocalyptic theories were a bit over the top. I have a few of his books, including his translation of Agrippa's Three Books of Occult Philosophy, Enochian Magic for Beginners, and The Power of the Word. Say what you like about Tyson and his theories, but you cannot condemn the man's researching capabilities. The notes in Agrippa's Three Books of Occult Philosophy are solid gold. And regardless of what he is writing, he always clearly indicates when he is reporting facts and when he is expressing his opinions. He never implies that his conclusions about the Enochian Apocalypse are based on information he has found in his research. It's always expressed as an opinion.

Although, he did write an essay called "The Truth About Enochian Magic" (linked above) wherein he details all his theories. Hmmm.

Anyway, at least he is consistent. In all his books that I've read, he has stayed his ground regarding the Enochians. For years, as I said, I shrugged off his warnings as delusional paranoia. I recently chanced upon someone claiming intimate knowledge of Tyson's personal beliefs. It seems he is at least allegedly a Gnostic Christian. The warnings of the apocalypse are not, in his world-view, a bad thing at all. It would return us to a right relationship with God.

Now, Tyson's theology is weird, based on what I've seen in his books. I don't understand how he could have painstakingly worked his way through Agrippa and not have come away with a more cohesive stance on Christian beliefs, past and present. The "right relationship" with God is established through Christ's sacrifice on the cross. Furthermore, Jesus says in his parable about the Good Shepherd:

I have other sheep, which are not of this fold; I must bring them also, and they will hear My voice; and they will become one flock with one shepherd. (John 10:16)

Most Christians say he's talking about the Gentiles that will convert to Christianity. I personally think he's talking about Pagans, Neoplatonic Philosophers, Buddhists, Hindus, Muslims, and anyone else that sees past their religion's B.S. and gets into a direct relationship with God based on what God has revealed to them. Thelemites say it's discovering their True Will and following the guidance of their HGA. To me, it's all the same thing in different wrappers.

What does that have to do with Enochian Apocalypses? God has a plan for everyone. Part of that plan includes Christians and Jews. They received the parts of God that were appropriate for them for God's plan... for them. If you're in another pen, you'll hear the voice of your good shepherd calling you into a right relationship with God in your own language. If you're stuck in the material realm and are unable to hear the voice over the cacophony of voices of the radio, television, media, internet, bloggers like myself... then you're doomed. Doomed to go through your own apocalypse. And I'm sure the Enochian Spirits will happily oblige you.

If you're in a right relationship with God, even if He manifests to you as a bunch of Pagan deities or sprites and gnomes or whatever, then you'll be able to hear the difference between the seductive distractions of the spirits that would take you away from this relationship.Furthermore, God (in whatever form) wouldn't be tempting you away from himself. He'd be keeping you close. You just have to pay attention to Him (or Her) first and foremost.

The Enochian Spirits are, in my current opinion, Terrestrial Spirits. They are not Celestial, designed to get you into a right relationship with God. Contrary to the assertion that Tyson begins his essay with, they are not particularly Theurgic spirits. In my visions, and in those of Fr. POS and Sr. Gimel, I see evidence that they are the spirits that manifest the physical realm. The visions we've had go back to the beginning of time, the big bang, but they remain within the confines of the earthly realm.

I haven't read Ben Rowe's plethora of writings, but I started to once. From what I remember and what I've heard mentioned by others, his work with them extended into the Astral Realm. While this may appear to be at least within the realm of the Moon, which would be in keeping with Tyson's declaration of their lunar nature, the Astral Realm is not, in my opinion, really beyond the realms of the Earth.

The Realm of the "Earth" includes all of manifest reality, everything that can be said to be made up of the four elements, Earth, Air, Fire, and Water. This includes the physical planets. The Planet Mars is a rock. Mercury too. Their locations in the sky relative to the Earth and observed for astronomical purposes are signposts, indicating the spiritual forces that are affecting the manifest realm at any given moment. Astrology has been revealed and developed to help us in identifying what is going on (in general) at any given time. This is a hit-and-miss kind of thing, because there are variables that are still debated and misunderstood. We can see the signs, and can read some of their meanings, but we don't understand what it all means and how it all fits together.

But to think that the Archangel of Mars lives on the planet Mars and that their spiritual realm is maybe like Heinlein's fantastical inhabitants of the planet is silliness. Would an asteroid from Mars be more potent as a Martial Talisman? Maybe. But if it's made of iron, it's made of iron. The four elements come together to form it into a matrix that is identical (pretty much) to what we find on Earth. So even the planets are Terrestrial, spiritually speaking.

The Astral Realm seems to reside between the Lunar realm and the Earthly realm on  the cosmological scale. It's sort of the borderlands between the Celestial realms and the realm of matter. Magicians have gotten lost exploring this realm at the guidance of odd spirits before. I'm not saying Rowe was mislead or anything, but I don't think astral visions should ever be taken without some large nuggets of sodium chloride.

I don't know Rowe's history, or whether he ever went through attaining Knowledge and Conversation with his Holy Guardian Angel. I don't know if he ever had a spiritual experience with which to compare and test the results he received with the Enochian Entities. Regardless, I have both.

These spirits I've worked with so far haven't popped up large quantities of Gold. In case you were wondering. (Yes, it's still on my list. I want at least ONE gold brick.)

That said, of the spirits I've worked with so far, these seem to be the best suited for manifesting quantities of material objects. They seem to be directly on the bleeding edge of manifestation here in the physical realm. The Goetic entities I've worked with are removed from the actual processes of manifestation, but they can manipulate these processes through whatever authority they've been granted. The Angelic (Celestial) spirits I've worked with have been even further removed from manifestation, and by the time the orders trickle down through the ranks, it seems like they've either lost their punch, or were never really understood to mean what I thought I meant when I was talking to the Archangels.

The healing technique I got from working with EHNB has yielded some promising results. I'm looking to expand on that type of technique, or find others, while working with the other spirits of the four Elemental Tables. I'd like to be able to build a brick of gold, one elemental block at a time. I've started experimenting, but so far everything I've made from scratch just falls apart when I try to make it manifest.

For the record, I do not think the Enochian Angels are any more dangerous or out to deceive mankind than any other spirit. I think they understand what would distract us from seeking our Source, however it has revealed itself to us, better than some other spirits. I am thankful that I waited until now in my magical career to begin working with these entities. Having already experienced the Seven Governors of the Seven Heavens, and having already attained (at least began attaining, it's nowhere near complete) Knowledge and Conversation with my HGA, I have other experiences with spirits that mean me well with which I can compare my Enochian experiences.

How to DO Something With Your Life

How to DO Something With Your Life
(In Four Easy Steps)
By Fr. R.O.

Step 1:

Think of SOMETHING you want to do.

Step 2:

Figure out what the steps are between where you are today and where you would need to be to do the SOMETHING you want to do.

Step 3:

Follow the steps. If you find you didn't plan well, adapt the plan. Start over at Step 2 with the new information.

Step 4:

When you're ready to DO SOMETHING... DO IT.


Repeat as needed.

Thus endeth the lesson.

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Angels and Angels

There are Angels and then there are Angels. Pretty much all of the spirits I deal with are "angels" in the strictest sense of the word. The strictest sense of the word itself is "Messenger." Angeloi, in the original Greek, was used to indicate a messenger. As theology mutated and transformed across the centuries, the word "Angel" became specific to the messengers from God who were doing only what we humans would consider good. At least, those of us humans that benefited from thier actions. I doubt the Angels that visited Lot in Sodom or Gamora would be considered particularly beneficial to the Sodomites or Gamorians. The Egyptians probably weren't too fond of the Angel of the Lord after their firstborn were slaughtered either.

Nevertheless, when I started getting into conjure magic, I went after Angels first, rather than demons, because they had a better reputation in my mind. Even if they weren't particularly nice all the time, at least, I felt, I could remain confident that anything they brought about in my sphere would be for the good in the long run. The same, of course, couldn't be said for demons, right?

A few years later, I'm faced with the truth that the spirits I call Angels aren't that different than the spirits I call demons. Or elementals. Or Sirits. In fact, they can all be called angels or daimons, it means about the same thing.

So when I started with the Enochian Angels, I didn't go into it believing that just because they have the word Angel in there that they necessarily were celestial beings that traverse the seven heavens. Nor do I think they are particularly interested in making my life great. Judging by what they had Dee and Kelley doing for a while, and what they tend to tell people ("You're great, I have a mission for you... SPREAD THE WORD!") in general, I am careful with them. They wouldn't be the first "angel" that tried to do harm to someone.

I'm finding that the angels of Enoch ermind me a lot of the spirits of the Goetia. Both are angelic, but they are both also concerned with things of this world. Things of this world. I've been waiting for a sign, even asking for one directly, that the Angels of Enoch are more than spirits of the realm of the Earth. A neat system that provides a direct channel into the realms of the elemental spirits.

I don't know right now though. They haven't "done" anything yet. I've had neat dreams and visions, interesting insights about healing, and things like that, but there hasn't been anything dramatic that would convince they are worth more than the mental stimulation I get from working with them.

The other night, I brough Bune along with me. While Adoeoet was there, I asked Bune if it was a Goetic Spirit. He said it was not. I asked Adoeoet what he thought of Bune. He didn't really see him. They were obviously of different "species" of spirit. Bune wasn't uncomfortable in Adoeoet's presence, and Adoeoet didn't even notice Bune there.

But what kind of spirit cares about how clean things are, but can't see another spirit? Soror Gimel's visions of them being "busy" during storms and othersmake me thiink they're like the spirits within the elements, right, but they just seem to lack something. There's a hollowness to them that I can't quite pin down.

Well, I haven't worked with many, that's for sure. So far it's an interesting journey, but it's way too early to do more than wonder. Conlusions reached now are sure to be meaningless.

Friday, January 02, 2009

Enochian: ADOEOET

Fun stuff. I just finished conjuring ADOEOET, the Senior attributed to Jupiter from the Tablet of Fire.

I conjured him by reading the First Call, the Second Call, the Sixth Call, and then called him by name. I felt a bit of his presence, but I continued anyway. I conjured using the name BITOM, in the names of God Oip, Tiaa, and Pdoce, and in the Name of the King Edlprna. By the time I finished and checked my quartz, the bottom, furthest-away side of the ball was "glowing" white. I couldn't see any distinct details, but the parts that were normally milky and somewhat transparent were instead white. I asked a few questions (it smells like Cinamon, or Dragon's Blood incense), and closed my eyes to hear the answers. It tried to take me on an astral voyage of the realm of Fire. I asked if it could go up through the Spheres beyond the realms of the elements. It said it could not. I was disappointed a bit.

The thing looked like a fire-fairy. Like a cartoon image of a fire-sprite. Like a cousin of Tinkerbell with red hair and only three inches high with butterfly wings, a Monarch butterfly's wings. I was like, "This is a Senior!?" It insisted it was, and that it really was looking like that on purpose. It tried to take me on another tour of the elemental realm of fire. Again I refused.

I should explain. I was tired. The power from the rite was big, but I was still sleepy. I kept closing my eyes and listening for the spirit's "voice", and when I did it tried to take me off on a visionary quest with my eyes closed. I know I'd end up falling asleep, and I didn't want to just drift off to sleep during the rite.

And besides, a fairy? Come on. That's so... not what I expect from an Angel ranked "Senior" and described as a pillar of the tower of the Golden Tablet thing. The Seniors are like the 24 Elders before the throne in Revelations. They offer the prayers of the Saints to God as incense, if I remember right.

So I vibrated its name at it. It didn't change into a bearded old guy with a censor. I called on the spirit by all he names of the hierarchy again. Still it was a fairy. By this time, it was a very obvious fairy in the crystal. There was nothing I could do about it.

So I talked to it, asked again about whether it could go beyond the realm of Fire into the celestial spheres. It indicated that it could not. I asked if any of the Enochian angels could, and it indicated they could not. I didn't understand this, but it could just be because I'm working with the angels of the Elemental Table. I may find something different when I get to the Aethyrs and the Parts of Earth. Again though, the Seniors are supposed to be in Heaven with God, so it doesn't make much sense, unless they're like the gnostic spirits under Ialdabaoth.

I did the conjuration yet again, just to make sure it was who it was supposed to be, and finally it was no longer a sprite, per se. I saw that it was like a sprite, but not as cartooney or Disney-fied. It was in two parts, one part that looked like a set of wings through the crystal, and one part that looked like a body with a head and red hair through the crystal. After the third conjuration using Bitom, Oip Teaa Pdoce and Edlprna, at last I felt like I was "seeing" it in a form that made more sense for the Jupiterian aspect of Fire.

I asked what its essence was, and it said Joyful. I asked if it wasn also Health of Fire, in some way, and it said yes, but secondarily. It was Fun, it explained, fun that was clean. What it meant by "clean" was that it was a flame that completely consumed its fuel. It didn't leave any ash or smoke, and it didn't burn up more than it was alloted. I got the feeling it was like the entertainment part of a budgeted lifestyle that wouldn't dip into the grocery or rent funds just to go see one more movie this month.

Eventually I let it go, and closed out the rite. When I turned around from my altar, my face felt hot, and my eyes were very dry, as if I had been sitting near a bonfire or campfire for a while. My skin felt almost sunburnt and radiated heat. I thought at the time it was because I went through three full conjurations of the spirit's hierarchy. Packed a bit of a punch.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

The Pact

To aid in not forsaking the vow, Brother Inominandum and I have decided to make a magical pact to lose 60 pound each by the end of the year.

I feel sorry for him, personally. I'm going to win. (Not that it's a contest...) I just bought a dog, and walking her will have me losing about 20 pounds in a month. Add to that the fact that he's having twins and SOMEONE's going to have to eat with his wife...

Let's just say he's going to have it harder than I am.

As of today I weigh 238 pounds. So come Dec. 31, I need to weigh at least 178,  although the ideal weight for me is 165 unless I work out.

So we're both going to use magic to get this done in addition to your normal stuff. Me I don't diet. I hate diets, I'm no good at them. I can do portion control though, that's not too hard. And exercise, I can play guitar hero on my playstation while I ride the exercise bike, so that's like a no-brainer. I need another copy of Guitar Hero II though, the kids ate the last copy I had. (Actually, I think my old PS2 ate it. I've seen odd scratches on the disks that look like my PS2 itself is etching something into the disks.)

So anyway, my plan is to work with Enochian Angels of the Fire tablet. Mostly just to get me more active and exercisey. I don't want them to get rid of the weight for me, I want them to get me to get rid of the weight. Maintaining Exercise is the hardes part for me. My Taurean nature is earthy and I really like to sit. In a hole. In the Ground. A Lot.

Mostly I need to get things in balance. So I'll be asking my HGA before conjruing up fire Angels on a whim. I wouldn't want to have them decide to take my lovely office with its wifi internet connection away to make me want to do something.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!!!

This year, you can do a lot more magic than you did last year. Take advantage of that fact. I recommend to all my readers the following (if you haven't yet):

  • K&CHGA - Get in touch with your piece of the Holy Spirit. Contact your Nativity Angel, your Genius, or use Samekh or Abramelin to get in touch with the HGA. Do it. Do it now.
  • Initiation Magic - Conjure the Intelligences of each of the Seven Planetary Spheres and the Elemental spheres, and ask each to integrate their forces into your own sphere of influence.
  • Use Sub-Lunar Spirits to obtain a six-figure income, a house if you're still living in your momma's basement or a crappy apartment where you can't do magic, and the true love of your life to fulfill you and complete you in every way.
It's time for New Year's Resolutions!

My list:
  • Lose 20-60 pounds
  • Get published
  • Keep Moving Forward