Monday, October 05, 2009

Trapped!

For two days, I was chained in a basement room about ten feet by ten feet square, fearing for my life should I venture out. My home had been invaded by miniature alien creatures from our own planet: other people's kids.

We had a sleep over. 5 kids under the age of 8, plus two thirteen-year-olds who stayed in my eldest's room unless they were skating. I've stood in the stinking clouds of hell's minions, and I'd rather face demons than other people's kids.

If you have kids that are brats, keep them at home. My youngest daughter was a brat for a year or so, and we didn't let her go anywhere until she demonstrated she could play unsupervised without being a little ... selfish human. You know if your kid is an evil selfish monster. If they are, keep them home, for pity's sake.

When I look at the kids I know, my own and others', I can't help but wonder how in the living fuck magicians ever used them as scrying assistants. They won't even sit still for five minutes, let alone act right for the durtion of a ceremony. "Gabriel is showing me a cup with silver water in it. He's pouring it into a golden stream... I gotta pee!!!"

Ibeh-geh. Screw that. My inner child can handle it.

6 comments:

  1. LOL. This entry cracked me up. Sorry, I don't mean to laugh at your expense, but I hear ya on other people's kids. Yikes.


    -LJ

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  2. Feh, RO, if your kids friends aren't scared as all hell of YOU, then you aren't doing your job! Actually, I have no idea if my kids friends were scared of my husband, but I know they were scared of me, and they behaved in this house. And yet, it didn't stop them from hanging out here. They may not have been willing to admit to it, but I think that they liked having a real adult around every now and then.

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  3. "When I look at the kids I know, my own and others', I can't help but wonder how in the living fuck magicians ever used them as scrying assistants."

    Not that difficult to understand. 1,000 years ago the world was different. The main reasons you wouldn't be able to do that today are:

    1)Wii.
    2)Hours and hours of TV per day.
    3)Stupid and uneducated parents,(not in the academic sense)
    4)Stupider, uneducated teachers(in the academic sense as well)
    5)Constant psychological overstimulation, mostly by the above. (Gee, I wonder why so many kids "need" Ritalin?)

    A thousand years ago kids didn't have this. They also learned "unimportant" things like respect(especially for elders), obediance (you can't teach that now cause it's "child abuse")and how to sit still for more than 5 minutes.

    Just my 2 cents.

    Josephus

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  4. Yeah, Jo, that sure worked out great for Crowley, you ignorant piece of shit. Fuck off and die.

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  5. There are some girls we won't let our girls have over to the house. Simple as that. Often, I've picked out the ones that won't be allowed in based on what snippets of their behavior I've seen while picking our girls up at cheer practice - basically when the "you must pay attention to me no matter what" phase has kicked into high gear. So far, we've had no problems with sleepovers when we've done that - in fact, many of the kids actually *ask* if they can help clean up. Combined with knowing their parents apart from the kids and it's a fairly pleasant experience all around.

    That's not to say that there's not annoyances that crop up - it's just that in the bigger picture, they're pretty minor.

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  6. And don't count your kids out as forces to be rekoned with! If the visiting team was going to do anything really harmful, I have no doubt your kids would stop them.

    I did the same when I was a kid. I had one foul mouthed, theiving, brat of a cousin. I kept his punk ass in line the few times we had to put him up in our home.

    Even as teenagers, my friends were respectful. None of them disrespected my parents, stole from our home, or even so much as sat in my dad's chair.

    It's all in the specific ones you come across, and where the observer chooses to focus.

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