Sunday, August 12, 2012

Shifting Gears on Goetia

Ok, so after years and years (and years) of RO bashing Demon Magic, I'm shifting gears. It would be fairly typical for me to say, "I changed my mind, I was wrong" and dive right in, fuck the consequences, but that's not where I'm at.

See, the reason I stopped doing Demon magic is because it's dangerous. It works really well, but there's little room for error. For example, if I go to Raphael and ask him to bring me wealth in the amount of $4,000 by the end of the month, by any means necessary, as long as no one in my family got hurt, he immediately starts leading me in my mind through the means necessary to get what I need. He shows me what I have that is of value already, and demonstrates the means necessary to make the difference within the time constraints.

Bune simply said, "yes, I will do that," and a week or so later a faulty regulator caused a gas build up that flamed out and caught some stuff on fire that I'd left too close to the water heater. My first check from the insurance company was for almost exactly the amount I needed, a little more in fact.

While everyone got out alive and unharmed, and technically no one in my family was hurt, the stress was terrible. My ex about had a break down. My kids were fine, except for when their mom and I fought as a result of the stress. It was one of many times in the relationship we nearly got divorced, but I did magic to save the relationship, and we made it through that storm.

And I promised her I wouldn't do any more demon magic. It works, very well, and I really wanted to go deeper into it. I wanted to figure out if he could make a house fire, what else could he do? I mean that kind of manifestation is pretty damned awesome, if it can be contained and channeled properly. But I felt it was too risky. I didn't have room to fuck up, I had kids and a wife to protect and support.

A couple weeks ago, my ex and I separated. In May I started a new job, making  a ton of money, but working 16-hour days. I dropped a lot of the Kingdom Maintenance magic I had been doing, including the stuff that was keeping my relationship afloat. I might write a post about that some time, but not now.

As a result of these changes, I'm free to go back to the figuring out the demon magic I was practicing before.

However, I've learned a whole lot in the two years since doing that kind of magic, and I have a better understanding of how magic works in general. Effective magic is done in a balanced way, Working with the spirits of the celestial, terrestrial, and chthonic in a coordinated effort. I've been working with spirits of the dead and genii loci, and various elementals who aren't entirely demonic for the last couple of years, and I'm looking forward to including the demons in the mix again. I'm planning a series of rites to get back in the swing of things, conjuring the spirits to learn and get some minor assistance here and there, and then move onto more specific manifestation stuff.

But first I'm planning a full Hermetic Retreat.