Friday, May 01, 2009

Working Magicians

So when I started and the blog, I figured I'd get some odd requests, people looking for riches, love, power, revenge, you know, all the shit in the grimoires.

I've gotten my fair share of those things, mostly from people in Africa, South America, and the Phillipines, where people know what magicians are supposed to be able to do.

Some pet peeves I have managed to gain:

Make me 10X more Pow'rful!

"Will you just do magic to make me a powerful magician like I used to be when I was 16? Ever since I hit 27 and moved back home with my mom, it's been like the magic's gone."

NO! You do the Magic, you get the power. And what you had when you were 16? That was "sex appeal to 15 year old girls." That's all over now. Grow up.

What surprises me is how many people are like this. I'm picking on one dude, but really, he's not alone. People had this great role playing thing going on with their occulty friends in their teens, and everyone was a reincarnated astral warrior fighting demons. And nothing happened. And they couldn't figure out why. And now they want a real magician to make them back into their old characters. Grow the Eff Up.

Bossy Beggars

Please! I am on bended knee and contemplating suicide! Help your brother I am counting on you! Get me business in my store. Send your spirits to get me $10,000 by Friday. I sent you four emails yesterday telling you what I wanted, why haven't I gotten it yet? Waiting for your reply.

I understand when you're in a fix you need immediate attention. I understand that you think I'm sitting around doing nothing but waiting for opportunities to do magic for people. I know you think you're doing me a favor by giving me an opportunity to do magic for you for free. But I have three kids and a spouse who hasn't worked in 9 years. My father in law is going in for open heart surgery. I have a job I work at for 50 hours a week. I have a lawn to mow, cars to fix, and bills to pay. These things take time. My magic has been relegated to a part-time pursuit. When I have time for it, fixing your bad business decisions isn't that high on my list of things to do. Don't get snitty with me.

The Quaking Pseudo-Noob

Gee, Mr. Opus, I've been practicing for years, but I haven't got a blog and I'm not published, so even though I've conjured more spirits than you know exist, I'm still all nervous about talking to you.

This isn't a pet-peeve as much as it is a shock. I'm no expert. Every time I think I know more than I do, God provides people like Jason or Optimystic or someone like that to remind me of the depth of my ignorance. I tend to think I'm a Goetia expert because I've Worked with 18 spirits from the Lemegeton's Goetia. Then I meet people who have gone much deeper into their research and practice, and I find out that ok, I've worked more than most people, but I'm still a ways away from being an expert.

So if you're nervous about talking to me about something because you think I'm special, I'd just like to remind you that I'm not. I'm a magician like you.


  1. Their magick really must be failing them, including their ability to think.

    ***Make me more powerful.

    You lost your magick moving back in with the parents. Don't you think there's an important reason about yourself for why you stopped being able to do it? If you don't know it, you haven't looked enough. I don't care how long you've been looking. You obviously aren't looking in the right place, so look in the places you haven't, regardless of how not important or not related it seems. I have found reasons that only with the barest sliver are they related to a question I've had for understanding, but regardless of how thin a relationship it seems to me, that is the reason for a particular thing. When it's confusing, but you're sure it is that thing, you just give up trying to understand and accept, so you can finally move on.

    ***Bossy beggers

    Nope, I can say for certain that my every day life is not as yours.

    ***The Quaking Pseudo-Noob

    These people I can't stand the most. It's bad enough having to navigate magickians with underanalyzed egos. The ones that speak out have at least done some self-work to understand themselves. How are you actually gonna say you are a capable magickian, if you've got not only stage freight, but internet stage freight? We aren't even face-to-face. Face-to-face is kinda understandable, but give me a fucking break. It's the internet. It's like leaving a post-it note on someone's monitor at their cube at work saying you wanna talk to them, so call this extension.

    >>I'm a magician like you.

    This begs the question, just what is it that makes a magickian an expert. If we go with deapth of one's knowledge, no one will ever be an expert that incarnates here. There's always gonna be deeper and deeper levels of understanding. That wouldn't be a good parameter. How well your magick performs isn't that good either because your conscious knowledge can be really limited, but you get very extensive results.

    You can use both, but if you do, there's always gonna be give and take from person to person just how they are or aren't an expert.

  2. Okay, a bit more useful this time around...

    The things that annoy us about other people are often the things that are what annoy us about ourselves. Just something to consider, y'know...

    Still a friggin' funny post

  3. Additional Pet Peeves

    (1) 50 friggin' e-mails from India and Pakistan a month asking for free astrology readings. Tres bizarre, since every #@%$ horary page says "NO FREE READINGS!!!!"

    Must be some cultural thing because I don't get people from Africa, or East Asia or Eastern Europe expecting free stuff.

    (2) Why don't your talismans come with a 100% money back, satisfaction guarantee?

    Yeah, right! You bought the talisman and now lightning bolts don't fly out of your #$% and you didn't win the $180 Million Powerball, so gimme my money back!

    I can't just wipe returned talismans off and sell them to someone else. Once you handle them and definitely once you consecrate them, there's nothing I can do with them.

    (3) Variation on (2), I was expecting X and didn't get it, your talisman is defective!

    Hmmm...always seem to get this from the newbie who has some unrealistic or fixed expectation of what the talisman is going to do. Lots of variables here that aren't under the control of the talisman. Let's take wealth talismans. What about wealth in your natal chart? What are you doing in practical terms manifest the wealth magic? What are your expectations? What actually happened with wealth that wasn't what you were expecting?

    Really, though, 99% of the problems come from newbies. The experienced magic user is a real treat to have as a client!

    Christopher Warnock

  4. "I've gotten my fair share of those things, mostly from people in Africa, South America, and the Phillipines, where people know what magicians are supposed to be able to do"

    Hi i like what you said above, a pastor reminded me one day that the problem he has with christians - not in USA or anywhere like this - is that many accept the fact that God can save their souls,but refuse to believe that he can also bless their wallet .some magicians also suffer from this, believing that magic should be limited to astral workings etc , and not anything physical. Lol just take a look at these so called occult shows around- do not do anything for personal gain - i actually saw that yesterday on an episode of charmed yesterday.I like your approach.
    Good luck with all you do


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