Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Brain Dead

I can tell my stress levels are increasing because my brain isn't working right anymore. I can't write, I can't focus, and my meditations are annoyingly interrupted by thoughts of television and work. Television shows I have no interest in, even. Work issues that aren't even issues. It's weird how the brain deals with shit.

Even though the spiritual exercises I've been doing help, I'm still waking up feeling like I'm stuffed in cotton. The things I write seem dead. I've had three or four posts I've tried to write that just come out sounding like shit. Total shit.

The most annoying part is that I'm aware of the problem, I've taken steps to alleviate it, but I'm still feeling fuct in the head. It's like being smart enough to know you're not as smart as someone else, only the someone else is you yourself. Not that I'm all that bright most days, but still. I'm only partially functioning. It sucks.

I probably need more vitamins. Since moving into the hotel, my favorite food has been delicious chicken alfredo from this little delivery joint around the corner from the hotel. Man, damned good food, and it's all comforting and starchy. There just isn't a lot of Vitamin B in the pasta, cream, or butter they use to make it.

Delicious butter. Mmmmm.

I'm going through the whole mental process of dealing with the fire. It's a lot like the stages of grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, the whole Kubler-Ross model. Being a magician makes it easier, I think, but I still go through the phases. It's weird how they hit about different aspects of my life throughout the day. I find myself in denial about some things, bargaining about others, depressed about some, and accepting about still other aspects of it.

Anyone pick up interesting dietary suggestions to help deal with "any form of catastrophic personal loss"? Or anything else that would help get me past this crap? Especially the brain-dead feeling that seems worse today than usual.

Please post 'em in the comments, yo! My brain NEEDS you!


  1. you're just crashing from the wierd high the accident put you through. It happened to me. its like reality was somewhat distant for a while, but now its back in your face with annoying vengeance. Eat fruit. you cant go wrong with fruit,

  2. Vitamin D (usually lower in the winter, especially if you're not getting sun)

    Vitamin B 12 (to aid the clearer thinking)

    Ginko Bilboa (if you don't have High Blood Pressure, helps with memory)

    Fish oil (Cleans out the fats from your high-carb favorite food)

    Lots and lots of fruit. Less wheat (my g/f notices her brain goes all *blargh* when she eats wheat, and I've noticed clearer thinking since I've been off it too).

  3. There are some suggestions for homeopathic remedies (if you are in to using them) as well as suggestions about foods, herbs, and vitamin supplements that can help with grief at

  4. Dietary suggestions: Force yourself to eat healthier. You aren't going to want to. Some days you wont care what you put in your mouth. Try and balance the food groups if you can. Does the hotel have a usable kitchenette?

    Carrots, celery, and string beans are also good. You can graze on them, they are good raw, and you wont die of scurvy. Fresh fruit also good. If you aren't all organic crazy, fresh produce doesn't cost much at all in season.

    For the foggy headedness.. it sounds like emotional shock. Get enough rest, try to be patient with yourself, and with the family, as tensions are likely going to be high. Oh, and keep hydrated.

  5. Hmmmm, brain dead....

    Ever hear of Vinpocetine? It a dietary supplement who's sole purpose is to move oxygen into your brain and its immediate sensory components. Ears, eyes, and uh, memory. Get some 5mg caps and take 3 a day, Morning, noon and night. After a couple of days all will be better. After a couple of weeks it will seem like the neighborhood has gotten a lot louder. You will start hear things outside, like traffic and the neighbors that you didn't use to hear. You'll get use to it eventually. You will start to see little birds sitting on telephone lines a quarter mile away and think - Damn - I feel good. It's truly a miracle supplement. Way better than all the other so called smart drugs. A little pricey but you can get it online at for a good price. That or I-Herb. Price is important though because its not the kind of thing you will be able to stop taking later because you will go deaf, dumb and blind :). Not to worry though - just start taking it again and everything will go back to great. YMMV... Seriously - its good stuff.

  6. Fresh fruit. Strawberries, raspberries, pomagranates, tomatoes...and don't add sugar!

    Dark leafy greens, like a spinach salad.

    (don't succumb to the lure of the tv-it's cultural morphine!)

  7. I dont know anything about the relationship between food and mood perse except I know that I just eat what I feel like. Not like a hedonist but like a "Intuitive Eater" you might want to keep track of your cravings and write them down to see if theres a correlation in either taste or nutrients.

    I do know that Chocolate increases dopamine levels but a chocolate addiction might further incense your problems. lol

    For me I have energy problems, I eat a mixture of Granola, Kefir (look up) and Honey. I swear by it but the granola would be key for you.

    If you need vegetables and so on Arbys has really good sized salads in interesting varieties for about 5$ and Subways Veggie Delight/Max or other sandwhichs for about the same. Getting vegetables does help mood subtly (or more).

    Rituals involving the sun (the actual astronomical suns) energies work really well on my mood. Gazing at the sun set and rise, when its further up face it eyes closed and visualize it and open your sphere to its rays. Also there is a "interesting" ritual called The Solar Grounding Ritual by IAM. "Try and See."

  8. Fra Ro,

    This tea will do the job! 3oz honey, simple black tea, pinch of salt, 3 mint leaves. Use boiling hot water, and pray over it as it cools, brother.

    Take a big, deep breath of the steam and hold it before you take the first drink.

    Hardly a problem in the world that honey and prayer won't cure...

  9. Here's a good list of stress relieving foods:

    Also personally speaking fencing helps me with my stress.

  10. There are no quick fixes, of course, but having gone through numerous traumas and crises, including a genetic predisposition for depression, I have concocted a number of dietary and lifestyle practices that at least keep the worst symptoms under control.
    These include eating a lot of fish and green leafy veggies (I also take Omega-3 fish oils even though I eat fish 4 or more times per week). Aerobic exercise at least 4 times per week (it may be tough, but I always feel better). Getting a massage at least once a week, and if money does not allow for that or circumstances don't allow for a spa visit, then a long soak in a warm bath. I always feel warm, relaxed, and pure after. Keeping this practice routine no matter what, helps keep the fog and heaviness at bay somewhat.

    Fish oil has demonstrated mood enhancing/balancing effects in scientific studies. Naturally magickal practice enhances these practical lifestyle solutions.

    Best wishes.


  11. You're right---B complex and C will help (take a "stresstab" multivitamin).

    Don't worry so much about your starch intake. There is a reason that "comfort food" from around the world is high in starch. As long as you balance it out with fiber and protein you'll be ok. But alfredo sauce?! Do they have a marinara? Basil is a great herb for stress.

    Chamomile tea is good too. Not that I tend to drink it when I should. ;-) Coffee tends to be my go-to drink. Make sure you stay well-hydrated. Your system is in overdrive right now, and you're losing fluid faster. Think of this as having the flu and push fluids.

    Walking helps. And believe it or not, stretching exercises. Long, slow stretching exercises.

  12. The best thing I've found for depression is 1) exercise and 2) not eating heavy meals. I wouldn't say you have to eat everything healthy and have no food fun, just make sure you're getting enough of the good stuff.

  13. uhm, Omega 3 & 6 (fish oils) for depression/brain stuff.
    Vitamin B12 and/or a multivitamin/mineral, aside from that comfort food isn't so bad, I'd say you need a little comfort after incident Furnace Fire.

    Or maybe chicken alfredo is secretly the achilles heel of all magicians and its power is weakening you? Probably not though.

  14. This may sound weird, but it's made an incredible difference in my life. I make an apple (or two) the first thing I eat every day. I don't eat or drink anything else for at least a half hour after that (especially not coffee, which I actually gave up after years of knowing it was killing me).

    I think a lot of people's problems is not so much lack of nutrition as it is improper digestion.

    Just a thought.

    Oh. And leafy greens. Cleans out the liver. That creamy Alfredo sauce is overloading your liver. The majority of Americans have liver problems (according to my former acupuncturist in California, who said he was constantly treating liver ailments). A wonky liver can slow you down and make you stupid.

  15. I would suggest uping your immunostimulants Rufus
    Your stress level is high now and what hapens is that your immune system will be in overdrive and when the stress eleviates your imune system will plummet and you undoubtebly will come down with a bug so first thing first Echinacea and ginger and a bit of garlic too.

    If there is any history of Immune disease in your family DO NOT take Echniacea though it exacerbates the problems.

    Then plenty of green and purple foods to get your vitamins up.

    I hope that you feel better lovley you are in my prayers

    Big Hugs


  16. Hey babe,
    burn some lavander and rosemary in the oil burner, have a nice warm bowl of porridge every morning for breakfast to start your day. Oats are your friend! Eat them. I often make ANZAC biscuits out of them with nutmeg and cinnamon when I am feeling flat.

    Spend a bit of quality time with an imaginary friend from Jupiter and work on bringing some joy back in.

    This will pass.

    Eating fatty, greasey, crap food will not help. Just saw the Simpsons episode the other day where Lisa becomes a Buddhist. There is a scene where Homer is telling Bart to put butter on his bacon and to put more bacon on his sausage, and Bart goes "But Dad, my heart hurts!"

    The oats will make you feel better than the butter, in both mind and body. Exercise is also an excellent outlet to burn off frustration. Once again good for the mind to, helps to think clearer. But know all this....what are you going to DO about it. Use it to make a change, or not.

    Hang in there mate!
    Love Kathy

  17. Now is not the time to be all diet conscious. I say eat what you want and what makes you feel better. If it doesn't taste good, and you don't have to eat it, then don't. If you want it, there's a reason. Take your time and enjoy your food. It can be a great comfort.

    Oh, and a little Jewish penicillin is always good :)


Thanks for your comments, your opinions are valued, even if I disagree with them. Please feel free to criticize my ideas and arguments, question my observations, and push back if you disagree.