Thursday, September 23, 2010

Levitation Fail

So I was thinking about how enlightened I am today. Not totally, I have some issues, a ways to go for a while yet, but I've made some decent strides, accomplished a lot, and picked up a few tricks.

So I figured I'd try levitating. You know. Because I'd like to fly.

So I stood up from my chair at the desk here at work, flexed a muscle in my lower-right abdomen I didn't know I had, and kept right on going up. I was freakin' thrilled, loving it, I was totally flying, in the office, not even Jesus had done that, and I looked down and saw my body falling back into the chair, and as my butt hit the seat, my consciousness slammed back into the flesh. Seems I popped out through the crown chakra thing and left the meat suit behind.

Sigh. I'm kind of getting sick of the "needs spiritual sight to see how cool I am" aspect of this enlightenment thing. I get it, I understand it's like this for a reason, but why can't I be exempt from the rules?

Probably because I'd master invisibility and rob a bank, and then fly away with the loot.

Just guessing.

Not quite as enlightened as I'd like to think.


  1. I would thoroughly rob said bank as well, and would also through the occasional fireball at persons. I may even take to levitating in public places, whilst lightning and other-worldly light play about my half ethereal-ized body to peals of thunder and hauntingly cruel laughter. All would Love me, and Despair......haha.

    I'm guessing that's going to keep me out of the levitating club for a little while longer...

  2. Dude, I seriously find myself thinking, if I have to not want to throw fireballs at asshats in traffic before I can master throwing fireballs, what's the point?

    My HGA sighs at moments like this.

    And in case you're wondering, "Not wanting to throw fireballs at asshats in traffic just so you could throw fireballs at asshats in traffic" doesn't work either. The powers that be are hip to that trick too.

  3. Ah, if only. The occassionally rightly-timed fireball would make life so much easier lol ;-)


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