Tuesday, November 10, 2009

It's this or nothing.

As I was meditating one day, the Spirit descended upon me and took me up into the heavens, whether in body, or in a dream, I do not know.

In the Workshop, I saw my Brother overseeing a manifestation of Plague. It was time for the new pandemic to be rolled out, under the supervision of the appropriate spirits of  Saturn and Venus.

"It's going to kill millions of people," I said, and my Brother looked up at me.

"Yes, it is."

"But why? Why like this? That's going to hurt, and leave families without children, children without parents, and it's going to hurt the poor worse than the rich. It's not fair to any of them."

Gently, he sighed, and got that look he gets when he's going to tell me something I won't like, agree with, or understand.

"They have to die."

He just looked at me. His face is always so compassionate. He knows what it means to be human, mostly cut off from our birth-right, yet still conscious enough to be aware of the disconnect. He knows I don't see the beginning and the end the way he does.

"Like this?" I asked.

"Yes. Exactly like this. It has to happen."

"Why? You're God, or close enough for it not to matter any more. You can let them live and find their deaths of old age. What could happen if you just had mercy and spared us from this stupid plague?"

"This," he said, and took me over to a corner of the workshop that seemed dustier than the rest. He sat me on a stool and sat across from me. "Close your eyes."

He's totally done this before. It's a vision trip, where he shows me shit that I can't understand in words.So I know what to expect; he's going to show me a future with too many people, or something to justify the horrors this disease will cause.

Instead, all I see is nothing. Deep nothing. Nothing without even anything to compare it to, no way to know it is nothing. Nothing. No eyes to see, no me to look through eyes, even if they were there, nothing for my brain to process, no brain to process with. Nothing. Empty.


"I didn't see anything," I said.

"Right." My blank stare spoke volumes.

"Look," he said. "Remember the sign on the Boot Hill Saloon?"

(The Boot Hill Saloon is a bar in Daytona across the street from the old Boot Hill cemetery, where outlaws and the destitute were buried.)

"You're better off here than across the street?"


"That's the big mystical secret? It's this or nothing?" There was a brief pause, and I heard laughter in the distance. "Nothing's a hell of a lot better than unleashing this disease and suffering!"

He returned my gaze without flinching for a long moment, and when he had my full attention again, he simply said one word.



  1. Wow. Let us pray that was metaphorical.

  2. ..no words for this one...i'm still in a state of stunned silence...thank you for sharing...

  3. One day a long time ago or one day recently? Very...foreboding, ominous. I hope you're not gonna end up being one of those once-cool mages that goes about 'prophesying'depicting hellish scenes and whatnot. I think we have enough of that already. Cheers!

  4. Ok, it's not a "prophecy" at all. The flu kills millions of people every year, each season new strains mutate and come out, and the new strains kill millions globally. The common cold is a major mass-murderer. I'm talking about on a global scale. There's nothing magical about the prediction of millions of deaths by "plague," any more than predicting that 4 years after Obama was elected there will be another election.

    Martialus, I hope I don't end up that way either.

    The point of the post was to express my frustration over the whole "Existence vs. non-existence" duality. I hate that people suffer in the world. I consider it my job to ease suffering as much as I can. The ultimate end of suffering is to "be not."

    I guess I'm struggling with the whole "people have to suffer" thing. Is it really necessary? Is the alternative "be not"? I don't know. So I meditate on it, and have these kinds of visions. Meh.

  5. I usually don't know what to make of things like your vision but you're right it could mean a whole hell of alot of things. I said what I said in a light-hearted manner though not assuming to interpret or anything. Ultimately, I suppose only you know how your vision is meant to be taken. Yes it is a sad fact that many people in certain countries still die of a lot of things that in other countries are easily curable. Loss of life really and plainly just sucks and the loss of life on a huge scale even more so. I think it's more healthy to have an attitude such as yours than to consider what is or will happen non-chalantly. Personally, I think alot of suffering could actually be alleviated and not even occur in the first place if people actually gave a shit for each other and everything else in the world. It's a tall order but somebody's gotta rise to meet the challenge no?

  6. I don't know either.It may be a part of the reality that God created for us.If their was no suffering no pain in our reality it would then seem to be a very limited and restricted reality for us to experience.And their would be no need to do the "Great Work".If we are made in the image of God and God is a part of us then would not God suffer when we suffer too? Maybe someday the the Great Work will be practiced by millions of people and the effect would limit suffering and raise this earthly kingdom to a higher plateau.Probably just wishful thinking.

  7. One small thing is confusing me about this post. Why Venus? I don't think I ever recall hearing of Venus being associated with disease before.

  8. Venus is associated with generative aspects of life. Viruses, even though they reproduce asexually, are basically just little fuckers. They exist solely to reproduce. Venus is over all forms of reproduction and the fecundity of life.

  9. Life and death are two sides of one thing. There can't be one without the other. That might take a little thought, but, there it is.

  10. Personally, I feel that this physical life is like a virtual reality game. We are all really immortal spiritual beings, but we choose to come to this place and live a particular life. If we remembered where we came from then it wouldnt be as valuable an experience. We come here knowing we will be a carpenter, or a doctor or whatever. We come here knowing we will be a murder victim, or a murderer. We come knowing we will die 5 days after birth or 90 years after. We get an experience from that and we also give an experience to the others around us. Maybe we will all be murderers one or more times. Maybe we will all be victims one or more times. Maybe we set ourselves up in more and more horrible situations to see if we can really overcome and be loving people even after horrible situations we knew life would throw at us. Some lives we might consider failures and some might be victories, all progressing to a point where physical manifestation no longer offers us any more opportunity for growth and we move on to some other sort of work.


Thanks for your comments, your opinions are valued, even if I disagree with them. Please feel free to criticize my ideas and arguments, question my observations, and push back if you disagree.