Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Not crazy, no mad prophet here...

For anyone disturbed by yesterday's post and thinking I'm some kind of doom and gloom mad prophet, good news! I'm totally not.

I was trying to express frustration with the role of suffering in existence. I'm not happy with it, and I wanted to know what the alternative was. Why the hell can't we just not suffer? I asked God, and he said it's just part of the whole thing, and you can't exist without it.

Sometimes I think it would be better for everyone not to exist than for the people who get hurt the most to have to suffer as badly as they do. I am he who hates that evil should be done on the face of the Earth, and all that.

But the question I get stuck with is, if it is either this or no-thing-ness, which is really the better option? To be, or not to be: that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing end them?

That's mortality-talk, I suppose. I don't want to die any time soon, and unlike Hamlet, I don't think death is better than life, not really, no. I'm not concerned with what comes after death the way Hamlet is in his famous soliloquy, I'm not afraid of death or of anything that may or may not come after, I'm totally fine with that. I'm just contemplating the role of suffering in existence, that's all.

Nothing big.

I picked the plague for the allegory last night because H1N1 was on the news earlier in the day, and was fresh in my mind. It could have been the next ethnic cleansing that was getting rolled out from the heavens, or the next tsunami, earthquake, flood, or terrorist bombing, whatever major event is next on the docket for killing off people in mass quantities. One thing we can count on for sure is that people are going to die, a lot, from today through the end of humanity on the planet. It's a given that every human death is going to hurt the people who interacted with that human. Maybe not a given, but it's a high probability.

According to some statistics, the number of people dying in the US each year from flu-related symptoms is around 36,000 (from the CDC web site).  Globally around 200,000-500,000 are estimated to die yearly (from a Bangladesh news site) from flu-related symptoms. Across the duration of one strain of influenza virus, it's reasonable to expect it to be a contributing factor in the deaths of millions. Each year, new strains mutate and become viable, so it's a given that there are some spirits rolling out pandemics consistently. Job security.

To take up arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing, end them. I hate that evil should be done upon the Earth. I recently wrote a long email about good and evil, and how good is what we like, and evil is what we don't like on the Lemegeton yahoo list. There's really no such thing as objective evil. It always seems like a good idea from some perspective. Humans overpopulate, and mass death controls the number of resource-consuming people on the planet, yada yada yada. There's always some justification for it.

Even though there is no objective evil, there is subjective Evil.I see things I don't like in my world, a sea of troubles, and as a magician, I have the power to take up arms against them. I feel like it's my responsibility, as well. I take a lot on myself, I know. I don't care, it's how I am. I feel like I should be doing something to mitigate suffering on Earth. Even if it has to happen, I don't have to like it, and I don't have to let it happen around me. God obviously isn't going to stop it all on his own, and maybe he expects me to do my part to stop whatever suffering I can, and that's why he made me a magician, or something. I don't know.

All in all I was disappointed in yesterday's post. It seems to have failed to convey what I intended. Disappointing.

Unfortunately for you, Head for the Red is not only the place where I talk about my experiences in the Great Work, it's also where I work on my writing skills. Sometimes the experiments are successful, other times, not so much.

But I'm not crazy. The Work hasn't turned me into a mad man, no, not yet, not yet. :)