Thursday, October 28, 2010

Thanks, Ancestors. Thanks a freaking lot.

Excellent piece today over at Rune Soup.

After reading it, though, I couldn't help but think, yeah, ancestors, thanks SO MUCH for everything, assholes. We come from a lot of really prick people. Serious major dick heads. Unenlightened violent thieves, rapists, and murderers. And CANNIBALS.

And we wouldn't BE HERE if it weren't for them. We wouldn't have to deal with trying to remember we're free from all suffering at all if they'd just kept their dicks in their pants. Fuck wads.

I found out a little about the Bodhisattva vows recently. You swear to keep on incarnating until everyone reaches Enlightenment.

Fuck. That. Shit.

Human beings have a racial history of being stupid, mean, and vile. Especially to people who try to teach them how to not be stupid, mean, and vile. I've even done it myself, so what does that say about the sad state of affairs?

So I'm putting together a "raise an army of the dead" ritual for Halloween (it's been in process for a couple of weeks, was going to post it, but likely won't finish until a few minutes before I do the rite anyway). I've got dirt from various graveyards around the area, and some other stuff from haunted places, and it's all going into a big old huge fucking Spirit Pot that will be home to my Army of Deadites to send around and do whatever petty shit needs to be done.

The level of spirit I'm aiming for in the rite is pretty base, the shades who haven't managed to dissolve into the parts that make them up, the Nepheshim. Individually, they're pretty weak.

In large numbers, I'm hoping they can do more than just drop the temperature of the room a few degrees when they show up. My hopes and expectations are decidedly low, though, because they're only human after all, and not even the thinking or eternal parts at that. Just some damned souls left to howl in the night when the veils are thinnest.

And why am I doing this? Because like my ancestors, I'm a fuck wad asshole prick who would eat human flesh to survive if necessary. And magic is fun. And who WOULDN'T want an army of the dead to send out at whim to curse the local 7-eleven owner for running out of BFC Monsters when you really need one?

So that's how I'm honoring the dead this year. I'm giving them something to do, and I'm keeping the family tradition alive.


  1. uhh....

    I can't decide if this is mind-bendingly awesome or pure madness. You'd better have a lot for them to do, and keep them busy.=)

    Just goes to can take the goes out of the graveyard..hahaha.

    Either way, Frater, I salute you.

  2. Let's see:

    Common wisdom: Working with the Goetia can have some detrimental side effects on the magician, despite their power.

    RO's Experiential findings: R.O. finds that working with the Goetia has some detrimental effects on the magician, despite accomplishing his goals.

    Common Wisdom: working with the dead, especially in a raise the dead army kind of way, rarely if ever turns out well for the magician.

    RO's Experiential findings:...


  3. @Scott: Some days you lift X-Wings out of the swamp with the power of your Enlightened mind, other days you crush the Republic and establish an Evil Empire in a mad grab for power. Just gotta roll with the punches, you know? :D

    Actually, it's an experiment for an upcoming book on Goety. Depending on how things go, I'll either have a dire warning, fervent advocation, or lukewarm, "Meh" to write up in that section.

  4. You've seen the movies. People swing back and forward from the Dark Side like they're crossing the road to avoid talking to Mark Hamill about what he's doing these days.

    But my meditations on death usually wind up being explorations on how we are animalistic meat sacks so... you know... tis the season and all.

    Definitely looking forward to the results either way.

  5. You're MAD! MAD, I say! Ahahahaha!

  6. Moloch says that you can´t exorcise ghosts with the name of Jesus as you do with demons. He also says that you can´t tame them with salt, and Aghor Pir confirmed this.

    I only dealed with a rogue ghost in my house once... after a child and a witchfriend both saw the ghost, he start to be unfriendly, so we used several methods... we washed the house with herbs, I fumigated the house with incense and evoked Michael, put a lot of Solomon´s seals around the house. It has been years and I think it worked.

    But if you are to raise an "army of the dead" you probably need to first have a good contact with the underworld... have you talked to Hela, Hekate, St muerte, etc?

  7. Many people may come from a fearful dead culture, but I think go for it! In conjure/hoodoo we view the spirits of the dead entirely approachable and easy to work with.

    While we are selective about which spirits are good for which types of work, we find that their inclusion in our work has been nothing short of beneficial.

    If I may give practical advice. For what you intend perhaps stick to the dirt and spirit of soldiers. They are hard workers, honorable, and know how to follow orders. They are also willing to work for some coins and the occassional drink of alcohol. Such spirits are great for any type of work, be it intelligence gathering, or dealing with meddlesome people. I actually intend to post a bit about graveyard work in hoodoo over at my blog, but I digress.

    Tell us how it goes!

  8. Hi RO,

    An FYI, many traditions would say that there is a BIG difference between simple dead relatives and ELEVATED ancestors

  9. So how'd it go dude? Can't keep us all hanging!

  10. Why, after reading this post, am I suddenly obsessed with the idea of Bruce Campbell doing commercials for Monster Energy drinks?

    Maybe yelling something clever to a bunch of primative screwheads about how THIS is his boom stick and THIS is his preferred beverage?

    I gotta call my agent...


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