Saturday, May 14, 2011

Worst Demon Ever: Spasmodius





Serves under Elemental Prince:



Can totally make you feel all insecure and nervous, makes you laugh a little too loud at social gatherings when you think you've said something witty, but also makes you aware that everyone is just sort of looking at you and trying to think of a way to go get something to drink or eat or somefuckingthing to get the hell away from you before anyone thinks you're together.

Also responsible for whipping up political paroxysms among bleeding heart liberals and their mouth-breathing inbred white tea bagger mortal enemies over such trivialities as sexual preference or the relative amount of melanin in someone's dermis and the impact that has on their right to answer the call of God in their lives as they see fit.

Indications of the presence of Spasmodius: gross insecurity, infectious drama queenery, increased caffeine intake, fervent postings on Facebook of political articles hyperbolizing the issues to increase their own sales, head-for-the-hills-the-sky-is-falling advice presented in intelligent and even-tempered, but maniacally persistent discourse, or the posting of five or more blog posts of more than five paragraphs each on a given topic within three days.


Banishing rites:

Spasmodius cannot abide the forces of the sphere of Saturn. Something about a vision of eternity and the beginnings and endings of all things just seems to snap things into perspective, robbing him of his ability to create anxiety, angst, or low-level fear and paranoia over STUPID-ASS BULLSHIT.


  1. ....bwahahahahahaha.....! (man,you owe me a keyboard....mine just got drenched with coffee....)

  2. the notorious troll face would be a good sigil too. Also, i'm kinda thinking that the memes zipping through the internets are becoming magical forces in their own right. it has to write a discourse but i think it ties in with synthesysing mundane life into symbols.. just like you did hilariously with Spasmodious

  3. Looooooooooove this!

    @Susanne, I learned a long time ago no to drink anything while "reading RO."

  4. Readers should know that Spasmodius can't stand MANSPELL too.

    Open with MANSPELL and close with MANSPELL, I'd say...

  5. Curse thou Spasmodious!

  6. Humor is always the best way to keep things in perspective :-D

  7. Hahahaha...this demon is definitely running rampant...

  8. he power of NyQuil compells you! I banish ye to the third sphincter of Hell, where mouth-breathers and way-too-close-talkers abide!

  9. Spasmodius, eh?

    I think all my neighbours are possessed...

    Frater LIL

  10. I'm with Gecko on this one, exploring the egregores of internet memes would be... interesting, to say the least.

  11. lol cracks me up each time I visit this page hahahah


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