Monday, July 12, 2010

Boisterocity

One of the long time hallmarks of my blog has been the occasional good spirited, well-balanced, thoughtful compassionate rant regarding the complexity of human incarnation.

Lately, I just haven't had it in me. I thought it might have been the heart problem, mortality shoving itself into your sphere can make you a different person. I thought it might be getting rid of the demons and their various symbols from my home and hearth, and having the cleaner atmosphere not influencing me to hate other people quite so much. I thought it might be the Eighth Sphere Work I was doing, that somehow managed to clean me out and fix some misanthropic points of view.

I don't know which, if any, of those things it was. I just don't feel like laying into people anymore. People are still stupid chunks of talking dirt most of their allegedly "waking" hours, but I just don't care anymore. It doesn't bother me the way it used to.

Little bothers me the way it used to, in fact. I still argue with people, but more out of habit than anything else. I don't know what else to do. I know I'm not going to change anyone's mind, and I don't feel compelled to even try at this point. I provide information, people will use it, or not.

Whatever it was that happened, I just don't feel quite as entitled to rage as I used to.

But knowing existence the way I do, I'll quote the sage in closing...

This too shall pass.

4 comments:

  1. Ive got the same thing going on. Robert has blogged about this more or less as well. It seems to be getting over into my sex life also, in fact, all areas that I use to push to an extreme of emotion, arent reaching the same zenith any longer. At first I thought it was some sort of larva or whatnot, but I dont think so. Feels more alchemal. Ive noticed I dont get anxious easily as well. Ceremony still works up to a high level. Maybe like an athlete, our capacities are increasing before we get winded.

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  2. That sounds like a positive sign, no? The fact that you don't feel compelled to lay into people means that you are controlling your emotions and not the other way around.

    Not feeling compelled to change people's mind reminds of me of "pearls before swine." You know that what you know and they either are ready to accept it or not.

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  3. I went through a similar phase. When I was in Hawaii, I ended up destroying most of my old paper goet seals in the fire one night. I'm not done working with them altogether but I did feel the need to redefine the relationship, especially after a particular intense session with Lucifer. I now feel that many if not most of them are like the "overdrive" function on a car - you want to have the option since it can save your butt in an emergency, but you don't want to be driving in the red on a regular basis.

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  4. Sometimes, you just get tired. As my bff says, sometimes you just don't feel like listening to a lot of sass.

    We all need to lie down and dream some time.

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