Sunday, December 13, 2009

Just stop...

I'm totally annoyed with myself. I hate the way I've been acting over this Lon thing. I hate it. Everything that stems from it has been discord and strife, warning signs that my sphere is out of harmony with existence. Painful it is to admit that. It will be addressed.


  1. You did take it a little hard. My main thing was my disappointment that Lon wasn't as high minded about such things as i had hoped and that the song itself was juvinile.

  2. Mars is in opposition to Jupiter. For the last few days everybody seem to have been outraged with something or the other, including me.

  3. You’re too hard on yourself (and…ahem… quite possibly on others, but that’s all immaterial). No matter how high we go up the spheres, the sephiroth, commune successfully with our HGA, or whatever measure we individually gauge our ascent, we’re all human. People and things are going to piss us off no matter how far we’ve progressed in the Work. We all have our quirks and personal history why certain things rub us wrong more than they do others. Go easy on yourself (and the quirkiness of others) is all I have to say…and good luck with addressing your spheres.

  4. You're being too hard on yourself, and a few others are being downright silly. I may be in the minority, but... I think it's perfectly acceptable, human, and reasonable to become upset when you feel attacked or misrepresented. It's also okay to occasionally feel what almost appears to be a bout of insecurity from you regarding being in a minority of occultists.

    There is a certain level of expectation applied to all things magickal, especially the practitioners involved, in that for some reason people expect you to forfeit your humanity. It is, in fact, quite fucking silly and the reason I've told people that "enlightenment" isn't my goal. If "enlightenment" means that I have to forfeit my emotions, or suddenly become some-all-seeing-perfect-man, then fuck that shit.

    This entire discussion has been idiotic. You had every right to call Lon on his shit and point out a double-standard. Perhaps in forcing the issue you were a bit more passionate than expected, but isn't that something that belief itself tends to magnify? Isn't that why we do what we do?

    We aren't monks. We're goddamn magicians. Leave the monkish disinterest with feelings and the goal of shoving that out to the monks. And let the magicians, instead, be what they are.

    That, of course, also applies to Lon. But I don't think I'll go there right now.

  5. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes.


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