Thursday, December 17, 2009

So... Tired...

Man, what a grueling season. It's a good thing Christmas only comes once a year. Something happened somewhere along the line that made Christmas less fun than it used to be. I think it's called "adulthood." My parents aren't footing the bill, and the bill can get pretty big. With the recession and having been unemployed, it's a toned-down Christmas this year, but we're all having a lot of fun anyway. Books are cheaper than video games, and the kids are finally old enough to prefer books to the electronic devices. I'm thrilled about that.

Since I've been back to work, I've had more crises than I had the whole time I was unemployed. I actually look back on that period now and wonder why I didn't enjoy myself more. Probably the desperate terror of being homeless with my family. I'm just guessing.

But we've faced and made it through the worst. The mortgage is all caught up and modified to save us a couple hundred a month, the utilities are paid, and I don't have to send my kids to my in-laws to keep them warm when the power gets cut off, because the power won't be cut off. I did a Bune rite to take care of these things, and he did, by the skin of our collective teeth, and I'd just like to say THANKS BUNE.

The way he manifested the money was annoying. I ended up with a loan, from an in-law, and a pissed off one at that. That's not what I had in mind when I showed him the bill and asked that he provide enough money by the turn off date to keep the power on. Once again I get to learn how NOT to ask for money. Sigh.

One big thing I've learned is that you can't think straight under pressure. You need to be as prepared as possible, with as many options available to you that you can turn to when the emergencies come. Not if, but when. That's the big lesson I'm walking away with from this series of unfortunate decisions and results. Have a lot of backup. Be proactive. Think ahead. Plan for the worst.

I think I'll work an all-points plan of attack into the Hermetic Merkavah course, something that weaves together the different spirits and their legions to avoid the traps I fell into.

The biggest thing of all to remember is that you can't get lazy, like I did, when your magic starts working. You can't just sit back and drop all the magic and expect to keep what you've built with it. Magic is a way of life, and it takes maintenance work to keep things going well.

Just like everything else in life. SHOCKING!!!

Anyway, I'd like to close by giving POS a bit of shit about his post that he probably shouldn't have posted:

Fuck you, man! Posting that crap just to get a rise out of me! (Because it is, really, it is all about me.) ;-)

I'm not playing that game anymore. I've stopped the wheel of karma on that front.

For now. Next month may have different results. Depends on what I'm working through.


  1. I didn't post it because of you but I did think of not posting it due to the recent issues you've expressed here.

    Then I decided if the positions were reversed, it wouldn't have stopped you. ;oP

  2. No, it totally wouldn't have. :D


    I always liked to keep the shopping to Thanksgiving. Wether or not I give them the presents on Christmas. I feel that there is a tangible change in experience of the waves in the "Tides" when I do this. It Unconfuses what christmas is really about from how people act out the symbology in their semi-secular manner, at least within my own mind.

    I divide it like Thanksgiving - Material Gratitude. Christmas - Spiritual Gratitude.

    Frater EST


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