Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Some Serious Magic

The Detroit Lions have sucked donkey shit for years in terms of being a professional football team.

Here's their record:

Year  Wins-Losses
1998     5-11
1999     8-8
2000     9-7
2001     2-14
2002     3-13
2003     5-11
2004     6-10
2005     5-11
2006     3-13
2007     7-9
2008     0-16
2009     2-14
2010     6-10

You'll note that the last time they even won more games in a season than they lost was in 2000.

Then some British kabalist, with as much interest in American football as any proper British man should have, picks the goddamned Detroit Lions to run a series of experiments on. "A Lion has Roared" he calls it.

In the last four games, the Lions have won, and won hard. They're facing the Bears next week, and they're favored to win. It's still early in the season, but right now the Lions are tied with the Packers for the lead in their division. In my opinion, that's pretty unbefuckinglievable.

I'm watching this experiment with a great deal of interest. I'm looking forward to seeing the results at the end of the season.

Sports though? Really? What has the wins/losses of the Detroit Lions have to do with magicians? Fuck, if you don't know the answer to that one, shame on you. Simon Tomasi's blog is "Trainee Golem Builder." He's in training. He's experimenting, practicing. He's taken on a project that can have pretty obvious results. He's testing his skills, flexing his magical muscles. He's learning how to influence the world.

He picked something he doesn't really give a shit about (I don't think), American Football. It might not seem like a big deal, but Detroit's going through some major shit. They don't have a lot to be proud of right now. They don't have a lot, period. They're broke and desperate, the Somalia of the United States. A successful home team can be a morale booster that slops over into all aspects of the city's economy, crime, and future expansion. Every win brings a little bit of joy to Michiganders who have been consistently disappointed for a decade in their team's performance, in their treatment by the unions and the auto manufacturing companies, and their government. The indirect consequences of a winning season in Detroit could be huge.

Well begun, sir. And good luck.


  1. Not only that, but last week they came over a 24 pt deficit to beat the Cowboys. The week before they overcame a 20 pt deficit to beat the Vikings.

    As of now, they are one of only two undefeated teams in the league at 4-0. The last time they had a start this good was over 30 years ago.

    Looks like I'm adding another blog to my daily reading...fuck that, looks like I'm going to be spending more time training and experimenting in the dojo...

  2. Holy shit! My roommate is from Ohio and a HUGE lions fan! We've been watching the games together, and he's really psyched! Our house is full of leonine energy too: my two roommates are really into the "Lion of Judah" from Rastafarianism and Ethiopia, and I'm Jewish myself.
    "The Lion King" is also making a big comeback these days! This guy has been VERY successful!

  3. No pressure, eh? :-)

    Thanks for the blog referral and reminding me of the impacts that magic can have on the wider community.

    I can't take much, if any, credit for the wins. All I did was meditate, pray, fast, and study a bit. The rest is in the hands of G-d.

    As for my interest in American football... it boggles the mind how a game of four 15 minute slots can go on for so long. And it's less like Bloodbowl than I expected it to be :-P

  4. @Simon, you publish interesting shit, and it gets around. Not my fault. :)

    I think the closest we get to Bloodbowl around here is the Ravens vs. Steelers games.

  5. This is the perfect experiment; definitely going to be following with interest.

  6. Rather than winning the lottery if this experiment works I can see a Kabal of magicians forming to shape sports seasons. Bet on the team you are working on and win lots of money.

  7. Unfortunately betting on a team creates a lust for results.


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