Friday, October 10, 2008

Stop the Presses!

This Just In!!!

To the right you'll see my awesome Superman keyboard. In front of it is a set of Geomantic Tumblers, received just today from Witch Doctor Joe.

I've used them about fifty times already. Ok, maybe 15, but still, they rock. Now, did anyone notice that in my previous post today, I mentioned that ideally I'd be doing more divinations? Huh? That was totally before the Geomantic Tumblers arrived.

I was dreading using the Tarot cards again. I can't stand them. For one thing, I have a five and a six year old. They love cards, and the Tarot cards have cartoons on 'em! And are so brightly colored! And so for the last five years, I haven't been able to keep a complete Tarot deck in the house. For another, they're annoying. If I'm gonna shuffle cards, I don't want to stretch my fingers to the breaking point (I use a mini-Rider-Waite deck because of this, and they're still as thick as a regular tarot deck, pleah).

These tumblers, however, are ideal. Even if the kids play with them, they can't be ruined the way a set of cards can be. and they fit right in the palm of your hand! AND the money goes to help a Pagan be a better Christian than any Christian I know. It doesn't get better than this. I love supporting a causethat will result in Jesus standing in front of all the Christians, telling a Wiccan, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant," and telling the self-righteous embarrassing nominal Christians that hate gays and convicts to "Fuck off, you said Lord Lord, but I never knew you, be-atch, now burn with those nut-jobs from Colorado Springs."

(I don't think that's literally what's gonna happen, but figuratively, aw yeah!)

We just asked whether my daughter got an A on her previous math test. It came up "Fortuna Minor," which indicated an unfavorable response because she didn't rush through the test. We asked if she got a B on the previous math test, and it came up Acquisitia, favorable if you want to gain something. She wants to gain a higher GPA, and a B would help towards that goal. So the Tumblers indicate she got a B.

This is a set of questions that is perfect for ascertaining the accuracy of the divination. It's based on work already done, but the results won't be known for a while. The answer can be proven false. I'll let everyone know how it turns out in the comments section.

They've got a slight "hum" about them too. While using them, I started sweating a bit. Like I'm in a sauna. Or a sweat lodge.